Is Asprin Satanic?

[Brother Turdis]

I think asprin is satanic as it stop pain. Pain was programmed into us by our "lord" god and was meant for us to feel it. This terrible man made drug is stopping god's pain on us.

DON'T TAKE ASPRIN GUYS! IT'S AGAINST GOD!!!!!111!!!!!!!!!!

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Re: Is Asprin Satanic?

Painkiller is only unGodly when a woman uses it during childbirth:

Genesis 3:16

Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee

Pain during childbirth is God punishing women for Eve's sin. Women who use painkillers are in defiance of God's will.

[RenegadeTroll]

Re: Is Asprin Satanic?

Painkiller is only unGodly when a woman uses it during childbirth:

Genesis 3:16

Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee

Pain during childbirth is God punishing women for Eve's sin. Women who use painkillers are in defiance of God's will.

Exactly. If the act of using painkillers is unGodly, why would the great Rush Limbaugh frequently take OxyContin?

[bookworm]

Re: Is Asprin Satanic?

Well, to be fair, Rush Limbaugh probably wasn't pregnant at the time.

[Faith Fighter]

Re: Is Asprin Satanic?

Any mind altering substance is clearly against God's Devine Will...this is to include over the counter drugs that the devil has personally devised.

[JennyD]

Re: Is Asprin Satanic?

Any mind altering substance is clearly against God's Devine Will...this is to include over the counter drugs that the devil has personally devised.

Aspirin is made from willow bark. God gave it to us to treat our headaches when we have to deal with God-mocking trolls.

[Nobar King]

Re: Is Asprin Satanic?

Why would you guys say such bad things about aspirin? You probably think pepto bismol and Selsun Blue is Satanic, too. Grow up.

[jim poole]

Re: Is Asprin Satanic?

Does this mean the anti-seizure medications I take on a daily basis mean I am following Satan's path to destruction? My pastor is even helping me find funding for my medications. Is he following Satan's will also?

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: Is Asprin Satanic?

Does this mean the anti-seizure medications I take on a daily basis mean I am following Satan's path to destruction? My pastor is even helping me find funding for my medications. Is he following Satan's will also?

Don't worry. I'm sure there are plenty of ways "Pastor" Feelgood is helping you avoid the Narrow Path to Salvation.

[JennyD]

Re: Is Asprin Satanic?

Does this mean the anti-seizure medications I take on a daily basis mean I am following Satan's path to destruction? My pastor is even helping me find funding for my medications. Is he following Satan's will also?

Encouraging you to do those things for money behind the Greyhound station while he watches is not "helping you find funding for your medications", and you know it!

[RenegadeTroll]

Re: Is Asprin Satanic?

Any mind altering substance is clearly against God's Devine Will...this is to include over the counter drugs that the devil has personally devised.

Aspirin isn't mind altering. Or were they referring to my comment about OxyContin? Oh well I guess I'll never know because they are aeternally damned...

[Mad Prophet Helmholtz]

Re: Is Asprin Satanic?

Why would you guys say such bad things about aspirin? You probably think pepto bismol and Selsun Blue is Satanic, too. Grow up.

I agree with you, Nobar, but Pepto Bismol(tm) does have me a little wary. After all, it's PINK and it's used for indigestion/bowel problems. I've even read that sales of Pepto Bismol(tm) are 50% higher in regions of highly compacted queer populations (West Hollywood, Castro St, Fire Island, Amsterdam, etc). No doubt swallowing copious amounts of semen or being the recipient of backdoor passions would require the soothing services that Pepto-Bismol(tm) provides.

It is also produced by Proctor & Gamble(tm), who are known to be a SATANIC COMPANY!!! Just look at their logo...


There are 13 stars, a Moon, and as you can see, you can connect the stars to make 666.

[RenegadeTroll]

Re: Is Asprin Satanic?

I agree with you, Nobar, but Pepto Bismol™ does have me a little wary. After all, it's PINK and it's used for indigestion/bowel problems. I've even read that sales of Pepto Bismol™ are 50% higher in regions of highly compacted queer populations (West Hollywood, Castro St, Fire Island, Amsterdam, etc). No doubt swallowing copious amounts of semen or being the recipient of backdoor passions would require the soothing services that Pepto-Bismol™ provides.

It is also produced by Proctor & Gamble™, who are known to be a SATANIC COMPANY!!! Just look at their logo...


There are 13 stars, a Moon, and as you can see, you can connect the stars to make 666.

Wow! Such acute observation! This is without question the best online forum I've ever posted on. I'll definitely bring any item that I believe has Satanic references directly to your attention.

[Nobar King]

Re: Is Asprin Satanic?

PB is probably safe, but not for the dog: