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I was digging through the crates in my basement when I uncovered a big box full of stories I used to tell to the kids every Sunday before the sermon back in Kansas.
I would like to share these exciting stories with the Children of Landover in the following weeks, and will be posting them here in advance.
Judy was 16 years old and had everything a kid her age could ask for. She was the most popular girl at school, she had her own car, and all the boys wanted to take her to the upcoming school dance.
The school dance was arguably the most important event of the year for many, if not most of the students, and Judy didn't want just ANY boy to take her to the dance.
It was Friday, and school was almost out for the day. Judy opened her locker to put away some books when a note fell out.
Excitedly, Judy picked it up. It said:
"Judy, you may not know who I am, but I have been watching you for a long time and would like to get to know you better. I think you are a really special person."
Judy glanced around. The hallway was filled with kids eager to get out of school for the weekend, and there was no indication who might have left the note in her locker.
Judy smiled to herself all the way home.
Judy came in through the kitchen where mother was cooking dinner.
"Oh mother, you'll never guess what I found in my locker today!"
Judy told mother all about the letter from the secret admirer.
"Well," mother said, "It sounds like we're going to have to get you a new dress, some new shoes and perhaps a shiny new pearl necklace."
You see, Judy and her family weren't Christians. They were secular humanists who were very Earthly. In fact, mother was probably fixing a tofu dinner.
Instead of going to church on Sunday and keeping the Sabbath Day holy the way the fourth commandment specifies, Judy and her mother spent that Sunday shopping for new, unwholesome clothes and jewelry.
That Monday, Judy wore a new necklace to school, along with an immodest, revealing outfit.
At lunch time she opened her lunch box and found another note.
It was in the same handwriting as the last:
"Dear Judy, I certainly wish you wouldn't wear such immodest apparel. And I don't approve of jewelry. Please, if you care about me, get rid of your whorish clothes and jewelry. Oh, and I see you have a lot of shellfish in your lunchbox. Don't eat shellfish."
Judy felt outraged that somebody who she hadn't even MET face to face would tell her what to wear! She also felt slightly violated that somebody had opened her lunch box. She crumpled the note and threw it away.
She decided that if this "secret admirer" was going to tell her what to do, well, he could just go to the school dance alone!
Later that afternoon, John, the most attractive boy at school asked her to go to the dance with him. Judy gleefully agreed, and pulled her pants down a little farther to reveal the lascivious underwear she was wearing.
She stayed after school to have wanton sex in a closet with John.
After finishing up with her fornication, Judy was just getting into her car to drive home when she found a piece of paper taped to the steering wheel.
"Judy, I know what you did, and I don't approve of sex before marriage. Please don't turn your back on me. I want to forgive you. Also, could you not use curse words? Yes, I could hear what you were screaming from the closet."
Judy's heart skipped a beat, partly because she was startled to find the note, and also because she, as an atheist, was thrilled that somebody heard her fornicating. She turned to look over her shoulder, but nobody was there in the parking lot.
She crumpled the note and threw it in the backseat. When she got home, Judy told her parents all about how she had sex in a closet with John, and being atheists, they wholeheartedly encouraged her to have sex everyday, but not only in closets but on the kindergarten playground across the street.
The dance was that Sunday (as public schools have no regard for the cherished beliefs of Christians), and Judy was so busy limbering up that she soon forgot about the chilling notes that had somehow made it inside her lunch box and locked car.
The evening of the big dance came quickly. Judy was very busy getting ready and thinking about all the public places her and John would have sex that night.
While waxing her bikini area, Judy heard a crash from downstairs. Judy's parents, being atheists, were irresponsible and left her alone in the house that night.
They were going to be at a gay pride rally that night, and she knew it couldn't have been them. Grabbing one of her new, expensive high heeled shoes covered in sequins, Judy cautiously made her way downstairs.
As she entered the living room downstairs, she was promptly hit over the head and knocked unconscious.
Later, Judy came to and found herself tied up on her own satanic Hello Kitty bed.
The lights were out and only a shadowy figure could be seen standing in the middle of the room. A voice spoke:
"Judy, I am your secret admirer. I am very disappointed."
She began to cry.
"What... what do you want?" She whimpered.
The voice replied:
"I wanted you to love me the way I love you. I wanted us to be together, forever and ever. But you wouldn't love me."
Judy screamed out, "I never even saw your face! I had no idea who you were or what you wanted! What kind of freak just leaves demanding letters in lockers, lunch boxes and cars?!"
"I told you what I wanted, Judy. I wanted you to not wear provocative clothing and jewelry. I wanted you not use curse words. I wanted you to not eat shell fish. I wanted you to spend every waking moment with me."
Judy cried, "I'm sorry, please just let me go!"
A moment of silence passed before the voice responded:
"It's too late Judy. You had your chance. I gave you time to decide, and you chose to turn away from me."
Judy screamed angrily, "For all I knew you were just a friend playing a trick on me! Until now you've been too gutless even to show your FACE to me, and NOW you tell me it's too late!"
The shadowy figure came closer and started soaking Judy's bed and body with gasoline.
"It IS too late Judy. I didn't WANT to do this. I WANTED us to love each other."
Judy screamed and cried and struggled to get free as the cold gasoline soaked her, but she couldn't escape.
Suddenly, a brilliant light flared up as the figure struck a match. Judy tried to see the face, but she couldn't.
"No one will ever love you like I loved you, Judy."
The match came soaring through the air like fire from the sky, and landed on her stomach piercing.
An explosion of flames engulfed Judy and she thrashed about wildly as she began to burn. Her new dress quickly melted to her skin, and the jewelry she was wearing fused to her body from the heat.
Judy's GODless hairspray ignited and her whole head became a flaming ball, and the makeup on her face began to bubble and boil.
The whole time, the only thing Judy could think about was how sorry she was that she didn't return the affectionate love of her secret admirer. All she could scream out was "I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"
But it was too late, and now Judy would have to burn.
Children, each and every one of you has a secret admirer who wants to be your very best friend in the whole world. You may not be able to see His face or hold His hand, but He can see every little thing you do.
Proverbs 1 says:
26I also will laugh at your calamity; I will mock when your fear cometh;
27When your fear cometh as desolation, and your destruction cometh as a whirlwind; when distress and anguish cometh upon you.
28Then shall they call upon me, but I will not answer; they shall seek me early, but they shall not find me:
29For that they hated knowledge, and did not choose the fear of the LORD:
30They would none of my counsel: they despised all my reproof.
31Therefore shall they eat of the fruit of their own way, and be filled with their own devices.
Won't you accept JESUS CHRIST as your personal LORD and SAVIOR now, before it's too late?
I would like to share these exciting stories with the Children of Landover in the following weeks, and will be posting them here in advance.
Judy's Secret Admirer
Written by JESUS CHRIST & Bob Fore
Written by JESUS CHRIST & Bob Fore
Judy was 16 years old and had everything a kid her age could ask for. She was the most popular girl at school, she had her own car, and all the boys wanted to take her to the upcoming school dance.
The school dance was arguably the most important event of the year for many, if not most of the students, and Judy didn't want just ANY boy to take her to the dance.
It was Friday, and school was almost out for the day. Judy opened her locker to put away some books when a note fell out.
Excitedly, Judy picked it up. It said:
"Judy, you may not know who I am, but I have been watching you for a long time and would like to get to know you better. I think you are a really special person."
Judy glanced around. The hallway was filled with kids eager to get out of school for the weekend, and there was no indication who might have left the note in her locker.
Judy smiled to herself all the way home.
Judy came in through the kitchen where mother was cooking dinner.
"Oh mother, you'll never guess what I found in my locker today!"
Judy told mother all about the letter from the secret admirer.
"Well," mother said, "It sounds like we're going to have to get you a new dress, some new shoes and perhaps a shiny new pearl necklace."
You see, Judy and her family weren't Christians. They were secular humanists who were very Earthly. In fact, mother was probably fixing a tofu dinner.
Instead of going to church on Sunday and keeping the Sabbath Day holy the way the fourth commandment specifies, Judy and her mother spent that Sunday shopping for new, unwholesome clothes and jewelry.
That Monday, Judy wore a new necklace to school, along with an immodest, revealing outfit.
At lunch time she opened her lunch box and found another note.
It was in the same handwriting as the last:
"Dear Judy, I certainly wish you wouldn't wear such immodest apparel. And I don't approve of jewelry. Please, if you care about me, get rid of your whorish clothes and jewelry. Oh, and I see you have a lot of shellfish in your lunchbox. Don't eat shellfish."
Judy felt outraged that somebody who she hadn't even MET face to face would tell her what to wear! She also felt slightly violated that somebody had opened her lunch box. She crumpled the note and threw it away.
She decided that if this "secret admirer" was going to tell her what to do, well, he could just go to the school dance alone!
Later that afternoon, John, the most attractive boy at school asked her to go to the dance with him. Judy gleefully agreed, and pulled her pants down a little farther to reveal the lascivious underwear she was wearing.
She stayed after school to have wanton sex in a closet with John.
After finishing up with her fornication, Judy was just getting into her car to drive home when she found a piece of paper taped to the steering wheel.
"Judy, I know what you did, and I don't approve of sex before marriage. Please don't turn your back on me. I want to forgive you. Also, could you not use curse words? Yes, I could hear what you were screaming from the closet."
Judy's heart skipped a beat, partly because she was startled to find the note, and also because she, as an atheist, was thrilled that somebody heard her fornicating. She turned to look over her shoulder, but nobody was there in the parking lot.
She crumpled the note and threw it in the backseat. When she got home, Judy told her parents all about how she had sex in a closet with John, and being atheists, they wholeheartedly encouraged her to have sex everyday, but not only in closets but on the kindergarten playground across the street.
The dance was that Sunday (as public schools have no regard for the cherished beliefs of Christians), and Judy was so busy limbering up that she soon forgot about the chilling notes that had somehow made it inside her lunch box and locked car.
The evening of the big dance came quickly. Judy was very busy getting ready and thinking about all the public places her and John would have sex that night.
While waxing her bikini area, Judy heard a crash from downstairs. Judy's parents, being atheists, were irresponsible and left her alone in the house that night.
They were going to be at a gay pride rally that night, and she knew it couldn't have been them. Grabbing one of her new, expensive high heeled shoes covered in sequins, Judy cautiously made her way downstairs.
As she entered the living room downstairs, she was promptly hit over the head and knocked unconscious.
Later, Judy came to and found herself tied up on her own satanic Hello Kitty bed.
The lights were out and only a shadowy figure could be seen standing in the middle of the room. A voice spoke:
"Judy, I am your secret admirer. I am very disappointed."
She began to cry.
"What... what do you want?" She whimpered.
The voice replied:
"I wanted you to love me the way I love you. I wanted us to be together, forever and ever. But you wouldn't love me."
Judy screamed out, "I never even saw your face! I had no idea who you were or what you wanted! What kind of freak just leaves demanding letters in lockers, lunch boxes and cars?!"
"I told you what I wanted, Judy. I wanted you to not wear provocative clothing and jewelry. I wanted you not use curse words. I wanted you to not eat shell fish. I wanted you to spend every waking moment with me."
Judy cried, "I'm sorry, please just let me go!"
A moment of silence passed before the voice responded:
"It's too late Judy. You had your chance. I gave you time to decide, and you chose to turn away from me."
Judy screamed angrily, "For all I knew you were just a friend playing a trick on me! Until now you've been too gutless even to show your FACE to me, and NOW you tell me it's too late!"
The shadowy figure came closer and started soaking Judy's bed and body with gasoline.
"It IS too late Judy. I didn't WANT to do this. I WANTED us to love each other."
Judy screamed and cried and struggled to get free as the cold gasoline soaked her, but she couldn't escape.
Suddenly, a brilliant light flared up as the figure struck a match. Judy tried to see the face, but she couldn't.
"No one will ever love you like I loved you, Judy."
The match came soaring through the air like fire from the sky, and landed on her stomach piercing.
An explosion of flames engulfed Judy and she thrashed about wildly as she began to burn. Her new dress quickly melted to her skin, and the jewelry she was wearing fused to her body from the heat.
Judy's GODless hairspray ignited and her whole head became a flaming ball, and the makeup on her face began to bubble and boil.
The whole time, the only thing Judy could think about was how sorry she was that she didn't return the affectionate love of her secret admirer. All she could scream out was "I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"
But it was too late, and now Judy would have to burn.
Children, each and every one of you has a secret admirer who wants to be your very best friend in the whole world. You may not be able to see His face or hold His hand, but He can see every little thing you do.
Proverbs 1 says:
26I also will laugh at your calamity; I will mock when your fear cometh;
27When your fear cometh as desolation, and your destruction cometh as a whirlwind; when distress and anguish cometh upon you.
28Then shall they call upon me, but I will not answer; they shall seek me early, but they shall not find me:
29For that they hated knowledge, and did not choose the fear of the LORD:
30They would none of my counsel: they despised all my reproof.
31Therefore shall they eat of the fruit of their own way, and be filled with their own devices.
Won't you accept JESUS CHRIST as your personal LORD and SAVIOR now, before it's too late?
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