My Son Punched His First Queer: So Proud!

[WinnerNotSinner]

Hey everyone, I can hardly contain my excitement considering what just happened today! My son, Aaron, who's just turned 6 years old has already punched his first homer! It was a complete bloodbath, Aaron had to punch him 11 times before the little rat got the message. Aaron's tiny hands are covered in bruises and cuts but as always... you should have seen the OTHER GUY! Praise GOD that he is big and strong for his age! The little homer kid, also 6, minced into my chosen CHRISTIAN private school sporting a yellow bag on his first day back from half term - yellow! probably a homer, I had to alert my brave little warrior. Just before I bid my little hero farewell for the day, I pulled him close to me and whispered in his ear "Aaron son, you see him, over there? He is an abomination like in Leviticus 18:22. Stay far away from him, but if he approaches you, then punch him for hating Jesus" "Okay father, I love you, bye" he replied with a smile.



Let me tell you my eyes were filled with the tears of joy for Jesus when I picked him up from school and heard about what had happened - little Aaron attacked without mercy, Shout GLORY! The suspension Aaron received was a small price to pay (apparently whilst being pounded to the ground homerboy hit his head on the corner of a table and cracked it open, little sissy ). A teacher came in and under the schools rules and regulations was forced by law to punish my God fearing little soldier, ridiculous but there you go - that's what happens when liberal obama gets into the whitehouse.

So he's punched his first queer, but certainly not his last! Praise!
I thought the way I handled this and the way I talked my son into fighting for GOD really worked a treat, and would be an example to others who don't have the time to homeschool the children.

[ExGay Alex]

Re: My Son Punched His First Queer: So Proud!

What an inspirational story!! I am so proud of your brave Christian son! I'll have to have him over to my Age 5 to 7 No Adults Allowed Story Circle at the church on Sunday!

[Butch Dickerson]

Re: My Son Punched His First Queer: So Proud!

Way to go!

I always bet on the non-faggy kids when I urge them to fight.
Hope your kid didn't get nailed by any of that lil' homos sneaky slap and bite tactics.

You may want to have your kid checked for AIDS (just in case he got any on him). If your son found any of the queer tikes teeth on the ground, see if you can have a warriors necklace made for him.
{you boy can add other trophies as he whoops his way up the blood-trail to Jesus}

Victory in Christ, yeah man!!

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: My Son Punched His First Queer: So Proud!

You may want to have your kid checked for AIDS (just in case he got any on him).

Don't worry. When you punch a homer with AIDS and get his blood on you, it only serves to build anti-bodies against the virus. God's universe is like a well-oiled machine.

[WinnerNotSinner]

Re: My Son Punched His First Queer: So Proud!

What an inspirational story!! I am so proud of your brave Christian son! I'll have to have him over to my Age 5 to 7 No Adults Allowed Story Circle at the church on Sunday!

Oh thank you Brother, he has always said he would love to join the Story Circle!

You may want to have your kid checked for AIDS (just in case he got any on him). If your son found any of the queer tikes teeth on the ground, see if you can have a warriors necklace made for him.
{you boy can add other trophies as he whoops his way up the blood-trail to Jesus}

Warriors necklace, what a nice idea, I've always believed that hard work deserves rewards! (2 Thessalonians 3:10-12, Colossians 3:22-24) I don't know if there were any teeth lying around unfortunately - judging on the amount of blood though I wouldn't be surprised if there were pieces of homer bone lying around LOL.

I took a few days off work starting Monday to spend some quality time with my son.
Billy Bob, do you mind if me and Aaron pop round yours tomorrow? I'd love to get him to chop up some wood to build his strength up for the next queer bashing and don't know who else to ask. If you're not too busy, of course .

[Wash O'Hanley]

Re: My Son Punched His First Queer: So Proud!

With so many negative stories in the news every day it is good to read a heart-warming tale of morals, values and father-son bonding like this one.

[Brother Harold Porter]

Re: My Son Punched His First Queer: So Proud!

Praise Jesus for your son's bravery Brother!

I'd be happy to buy him a gift in recognition. Perhaps a .22 rifle, compound crossbow, Bowie knife?

Let me know when I can pick him up and take him to Big 5? You tell that fine young man how proud old Harold Porter is!

In Christ!

[Lycia The Repentant]

Re: My Son Punched His First Queer: So Proud!

Are you going to frame the suspension slip Mr. WNS? Its times like these that you will want to treasure forever.

[David Micheal]

Re: My Son Punched His First Queer: So Proud!

I'm very proud for your son.

Perhaps my son would learn a thing or two for him, whenever he has an opportunity to punch a queer he refuses. I have no idea why, rest assure he's been checked for demon infestation and what not. Perhaps he just needs some one around his age to talk to him about it.

[BelieverInGod]

Re: My Son Punched His First Queer: So Proud!

Well some definite benefits to sending your child to school. Unfortunately we lived so long in Canada I had to teach my boys that beating on a gay was a hate crime that could be punished even worse than beating on their wives or children.

[handmaiden]

Re: My Son Punched His First Queer: So Proud!

Years ago, while attending a Civil War re-enactment camp site with my former husband and some friends, the little program listing the day's activity included a mock hanging.

I leaned down to the our friends little boy in his baby stoller and said, "His first execution. How exciting!"


Remembering that, and pondering sadly the limited permitted executions in this country, as well as the limited access-- many people have to stand outside prisons and wait for the news so they can celebrate-- I found myself wondering.

A first century Christian Community re-enactment camp might be a real winner if sponsered by LBC.

Little boys could see homers and other sinners being beaten or stoned in authentic first Christian congregation settings.

I know that some churches do a sort of Hell House theme with people dressing up and showing the wages of sin and such, but why not a regularly scheduled life in first century camp every few weekends?

People could be shown tithing- and two people could re-enact the scene where two so-called Christians hold back some of their wealth and are struck down dead on the spot.

Well, forgive me for getting carried away and taking this thread off the track.

The little fellow did GOOD. He deserves a special treat. A set of Jesus and the Apostles stickers for his notebook, perhaps? Is he too young for a sweet piece of pie?


Agreeably Yours,

Handmaiden

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: My Son Punched His First Queer: So Proud!

A wonderful and heartwarming story, Brother! But I'm a bit concerned about the prancing fairy in your post.

What's that about?

[LordHaveMercy]

Re: My Son Punched His First Queer: So Proud!

What a great Milestone for your little Soldier. It won't be long before he can attend his first stoning! How's his pitching arm?

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: My Son Punched His First Queer: So Proud!

What a heartwarming story of Christian love. If the little nancy repents of his deathstyle choice, then he'll thank your son when they meet again in Heaven.

[WinnerNotSinner]

Re: My Son Punched His First Queer: So Proud!

Are you going to frame the suspension slip Mr. WNS? Its times like these that you will want to treasure forever.

Fantastic idea I'll buy a board so he can start pinning this stuff up in his room. Think how much of a catch Aaron will be for a beautiful Christian girl if he has so much evidence for his queer bashing prowess!

Well some definite benefits to sending your child to school. Unfortunately we lived so long in Canada I had to teach my boys that beating on a gay was a hate crime that could be punished even worse than beating on their wives or children.

That sounds like torture, Sister. Having to lie to your children about something as biblical as mercilessly attacking homosexuals sounds horrible, I do hope they don't end up soft and unable to physically dominate their families. I will pray for you they turn out strong Christians.

Perhaps my son would learn a thing or two for him, whenever he has an opportunity to punch a queer he refuses. I have no idea why, rest assure he's been checked for demon infestation and what not. Perhaps he just needs some one around his age to talk to him about it.

Hmm, that's a toughie - How old is your son?

Praise Jesus for your son's bravery Brother!

I'd be happy to buy him a gift in recognition. Perhaps a .22 rifle, compound crossbow, Bowie knife?

Let me know when I can pick him up and take him to Big 5? You tell that fine young man how proud old Harold Porter is!

In Christ!

Consider it done! Thanks for pulling him aside for a couple minutes after Church today, it means a lot to the boy. I think I will get him a rifle but not for a few more homer hammerings, I have rewarded him with enough praise already.

Little boys could see homers and other sinners being beaten or stoned in authentic first Christian congregation settings.

I'm in favour but this sounds like a suggestion for the Pastors, it'll definitely be very educational.

The little fellow did GOOD. He deserves a special treat. A set of Jesus and the Apostles stickers for his notebook, perhaps? Is he too young for a sweet piece of pie?

He's already had some sweet cherry pie from his mother, it gave me so much pleasure to see how much he enjoyed it, and how much my wife enjoyed giving it to him. Those stickers would go down a treat though, thanks!