X
Collapse
 
  • Page of 4
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
Previous 1 2 3 4 template Next
  • #1

    Could your homer child be a Wicker?

    Wicca is a Neopagan religion and a religious movement found in various countries throughout the world. It was first popularised in 1954 by a British civil servant named Gerald Gardner after the British Witchcraft Act was repealed.

    Witchcraft (Wicca Craeft), is also called Wicca, or alternatively, The Craft.

    The Craft, 1996; Written by Peter Filardi
    The Craft (1996) ⭐ 6.4 | Drama, Fantasy, Horror
    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0115963/
    1h 41m | R


    I started this thread, so we could help parents recognize the warning signs of this hellbound practice.
    "If thou buy an Hebrew servant, six years he shall serve: and in the seventh he shall go out free for nothing. . . . And if a man sell his daughter to be a maidservant, she shall not go out as the manservant's do."
    (Leviticus 21:6-7)
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Re: Could your homer child be a Wicker?

    Does your child fondle the pets?
    Does your child play in the garden a little too much?
    Do you get the feeling your child runs in the yard naked at night?
    Has your child remarked that babies "taste like chicken"?
    Do you think your child is involved in full moon homer orgies?
    Does your child correct you by calling a pentragram a pentacle?
    Have you caught your child "milking" the ram?
    Does your child treat women with more respect than anyone else?
    Does your child own the book "365 Goddess"?



    If any of these are familiar, and I hate to tell you this, your child may be a homer Wicker.

    There are steps that you can take to fix or prevent this attrocity. How?

    Simply email one of our Godly True Christian™ pastors, and hit the Godly Paypal buttion at the bottom of the screen. Once yout tithing is secure, we will work with you to cure this sinful curse put upon your Child/children.
    "If thou buy an Hebrew servant, six years he shall serve: and in the seventh he shall go out free for nothing. . . . And if a man sell his daughter to be a maidservant, she shall not go out as the manservant's do."
    (Leviticus 21:6-7)

    Comment

    • #3
      Re: Could your homer child be a Wicker?

      I was just wondering do all christian men treat women like crap.
      If so why

      Comment

      • #4
        Re: Could your homer child be a Wicker?

        my spelling sucks

        Comment

        • #5
          Re: Could your homer child be a Wicker?

          I have a cousin who may be wicker. Alternatively she could be a piece of cane furniture.

          Comment

          • #6
            Re: Could your homer child be a Wicker?

            Has your child remarked that babies "taste like chicken"?
            lol

            What about the vegetarian Wiccans though? hmm..do you think "baby" counts as a meat? I suppose they could use Hufu http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hufu instead

            Comment

            • #7
              Re: Could your homer child be a Wicker?

              Originally posted by SinisterPizza View Post
              lol

              What about the vegetarian Wiccans though? hmm..do you think "baby" counts as a meat? I suppose they could use Hufu http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hufu instead
              Doesn't exist, as much as THEY would like you to think it does. All wickers have devoured some form of True Christian child in their lives. It is their master, satan, that commands this vile practice. Maybe satan has already influenced you, yes? For you to believe that there is such thing as a vegetarian wicker is a very misguided and evil way of thinking indeed. You need to check yourself into a little bit of the KJV1611 Bible before you are further lost down the road of eternal damnation.
              Proverbs 23:13 Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. 14Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.

              Comment

              • #8
                Re: Could your homer child be a Wicker?

                Originally posted by Warrior in Christ View Post
                Doesn't exist, as much as THEY would like you to think it does. All wickers have devoured some form of True Christian child in their lives. It is their master, satan, that commands this vile practice. Maybe satan has already influenced you, yes? For you to believe that there is such thing as a vegetarian wicker is a very misguided and evil way of thinking indeed. You need to check yourself into a little bit of the KJV1611 Bible before you are further lost down the road of eternal damnation.
                Well, I talk to a tree spirt, and people view that as being a wiccan, but I'm vegan! Isn't that werid?

                Comment

                • #9
                  Re: Could your homer child be a Wicker?

                  but I'm vegan!
                  awesome I am too! 'tis why they hate me here, unfortunately. According to something else from Landover, all vegans are witches...but apparently a witch is not a vegan. Confusing, eh? Me, I'm not sure if I'm wiccan, really. I'm slightly afraid of getting put back on moderation for talking about my veggieness , but it's part of who I am, and I like not eating animal products. lol, I actually had a dream last night that I accidentally ate part of a hamburger. I was really thankful when I realized it was just a dream

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Re: Could your homer child be a Wicker?

                    Originally posted by SinisterPizza View Post
                    I actually had a dream last night that I accidentally ate part of a hamburger. I was really thankful when I realized it was just a dream
                    That was Jesus speaking to you. Better run out to a Godly McDonald's hamburger stand right away. Your very life depends on it! Better order fries too! They're cooked in delicious beef fat.
                    Who Will Jesus Damn?

                    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Re: Could your homer child be a Wicker?

                      ive never eaten a baby! id become a christan b4 id do that! but im proudly wican n my children will be to.
                      sigpic

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        Re: Could your homer child be a Wicker?

                        Okay, will somebody answer this one for me? If all Wiccans have eaten a True Christian baby, and the only True Christians are from Landover Baptist, then how do Y'all breed enough to keep all the Wiccans in America in munchies? Is Landover Baptist a baby mill for witches, or is merely a slice of True Christian baby sufficient for us?

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          Re: Could your homer child be a Wicker?

                          Originally posted by SinisterPizza View Post
                          awesome I am too! 'tis why they hate me here, unfortunately. According to something else from Landover, all vegans are witches...but apparently a witch is not a vegan. Confusing, eh? Me, I'm not sure if I'm wiccan, really. I'm slightly afraid of getting put back on moderation for talking about my veggieness , but it's part of who I am, and I like not eating animal products. lol, I actually had a dream last night that I accidentally ate part of a hamburger. I was really thankful when I realized it was just a dream
                          Maybe God is granting you a vision:
                          Acts 10:10 And he became very hungry, and would have eaten: but while they made ready, he fell into a trance,

                          11 And saw heaven opened, and a certain vessel descending upon him, as it had been a great sheet knit at the four corners, and let down to the earth:
                          12 Wherein were all manner of fourfooted beasts of the earth, and wild beasts, and creeping things, and fowls of the air. 13 And there came a voice to him, Rise, Peter; kill, and eat.

                          God granted Peter the Apostle a vision; he never did the same to Peter Singer. Who do you believe?
                          Originally posted by Fallen Angel View Post
                          ive never eaten a baby! id become a christan b4 id do that! but im proudly wican n my children will be to.
                          You're making at least one very big assumption there.
                          O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



                          God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            Re: Could your homer child be a Wicker?

                            Originally posted by Brother Temperance View Post
                            You're making at least one very big assumption there.
                            wut assumption? im wican n ive never eaten a baby unless u mean having children then ur assuming i havent had any children yet.
                            sigpic

                            Comment

                            • #15
                              Re: Could your homer child be a Wicker?

                              Originally posted by Fallen Angel View Post
                              wut assumption? im wican n ive never eaten a baby unless u mean having children then ur assuming i havent had any children yet.
                              Why hasn't the Rapture happened yet? For how much longer must I continue to suffer this?
                              O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



                              God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

                              Comment

                              Previous 1 2 3 4 template Next
                              Working...
                              X