Pray for Pimplepee-peezillaWWE

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

In all my years, rarely have I seen an individual in such need of healing power of prayer!
1 - He's a homer
2 - His pores are filled with pus
3 - He wets his bed
4 - He defiles himself while watching muscular men in pantyhose
5 - He's delusional
6 - Satan has him lying every time he posts
7 - There is a good chance his tears might fall into his keyboard, causing him to die of electrical shock before he can be saved

A sad case, brothers and sisters! Please pray for this lost soul!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Pray for PimplezillaWWE

Sister M&M, I know that your heart's in the right place. But every time I try and Pray for this pus-ridden demon, I wretch and and gag something awful.

I imagine that's what his family feels too. Really a sad case.

[Wide-Open]

Re: Pray for PimplezillaWWE

Does praying count when you just throw up a little in your mouth at the same time?

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Pray for PimplezillaWWE

I prayed and puked too. Just the thought of his oozing festering face made me hurl a little.

[Eugene Hackwith]

Re: Pray for PimplezillaWWE

I tried to pray for him just now, and I also vomited. Maybe it's God's way of telling us that this individual is undeserving of our Godly prayers?

[JennyD]

Re: Pray for Pimplepee-peezillaWWE

I prayed that he would read God's Word and come to believe in and love the real Jesus, who loves and who hates, who creates good and evil, who enjoys peace and commands genocides, who watches gently over every newborn babe and presides over earthquakes, hurricanes, and tsunamis which eradicate tens of thousands, just as much as we True Christians(tm) do.

Alas, I fear that he will persist in his blasphemies and his love of the hippie love god of his own imagination, rather than the Glorious God of Love and Hatred in the Bible and our hearts.

[Robbie]

Re: Pray for Pimplepee-peezillaWWE

I managed to get through my prayer without vomiting. I first prayed to the Lord to give me the strength to do so, which He granted, then I was just about able to keep down the rising tide of bile. I do believe it is our duty to be strong, with God's help, and to try to help those less fortunate than ourselves, such as the spotted face disaster that is Pimplepee-peezillaWWE. I too doubt that there is much hope for him, his perversions or his acne, however, wherever there is the Lord, there is Hope.

[SUV]

Re: Pray for Pimplepee-peezillaWWE

My GOD, does he have pimples all over his pee-pee now too?

Please, someone, shout a few hearty Prayers to The Lord in my behalf

For I'm feeling Ill and I need to lay doon

[Nobar King]

Re: Pray for Pimplepee-peezillaWWE

It sounds bad, I hope he doesn't go goth.

[JennyD]

Re: Pray for Pimplepee-peezillaWWE

It sounds bad, I hope he doesn't go goth.

I'm sure he's already emo, brother Nobar. Witness his masochistic tendencies and bizarre sexual obsession with Pastor Ezekiel.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Pray for Pimplepee-peezillaWWE

I'm sure he's already emo, brother Nobar. Witness his masochistic tendencies and bizarre sexual obsession with Pastor Ezekiel.

Miss D, I'm sorry to report that Andrew's attraction to men of the cloth is not limited to Pastor Ezekiel. This is the continuation of what I thought to be a meaningless aberration.

During a church youth "lock-in", Andrew insisted on following certain male church leaders into the restroom and making inappropriate comments. Since he had a girlfriend, we thought this to simply be youthful curiosity. We sat him down and had a long talk, and prayed that the Lord would relieve him of his desire to be dominated by older men. He thanked us for helping him, and said he was looking forward to marrying his girlfriend someday.

He did get engaged to Helena some time ago. She was a lovely girl -- lovely in spirit, that is. Her appearance may have been a bit unfortunate, but she loved him in spite of his, shall we say, "shortcomings". We'd counseled her on what to do if his "tendencies" resurfaced, and she was very accepting of her duties as a Christian wife to ensure that her husband stayed on the straight and narrow. Emphasis on the "straight".

Helena was taken home by Jesus a couple of months ago following an automobile accident. She was killed instantly, and suffered no pain. Unfortunately, Andrew has not been able to accept her death, and has been acting out in bizarre ways. He pretends she is still alive, for example, and has begun listening to Emo bands.

As I've said elsewhere, I'm at my wit's end with this boy. I do hope you good folk can help him find his way back to Jesus!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Pray for Pimplepee-peezillaWWE

Miss D, I'm sorry to report that Andrew's attraction to men of the cloth is not limited to Pastor Ezekiel. This is the continuation of what I thought to be a meaningless aberration.

During a church youth "lock-in", Andrew insisted on following certain male church leaders into the restroom and making inappropriate comments. Since he had a girlfriend, we thought this to simply be youthful curiosity. We sat him down and had a long talk, and prayed that the Lord would relieve him of his desire to be dominated by older men. He thanked us for helping him, and said he was looking forward to marrying his girlfriend someday.

He did get engaged to Helena some time ago. She was a lovely girl -- lovely in spirit, that is. Her appearance may have been a bit unfortunate, but she loved him in spite of his, shall we say, "shortcomings". We'd counseled her on what to do if his "tendencies" resurfaced, and she was very accepting of her duties as a Christian wife to ensure that her husband stayed on the straight and narrow. Emphasis on the "straight".

Helena was taken home by Jesus a couple of months ago following an automobile accident. She was killed instantly, and suffered no pain. Unfortunately, Andrew has not been able to accept her death, and has been acting out in bizarre ways. He pretends she is still alive, for example, and has begun listening to Emo bands.

As I've said elsewhere, I'm at my wit's end with this boy. I do hope you good folk can help him find his way back to Jesus!

What a sad and pathetic story. The most amazing part is how he could have tricked bribed convinced any girl at all to agree to marry him. With all the open, festering sores covering his body, I can't picture even an ugly girl taking him on. Was she blind or a retarded?

I'll bet you dollars to donuts she drove the car over a cliff on purpose, out of remorse and self-disgust for having promised to be his bride.

As far as advice on dealing with the boy, that's a tough one. Have you tried having him sanded?

[Robbie]

Re: Pray for Pimplepee-peezillaWWE

The sanding idea is a sound one indeed, although it may not work in such an extreme case as that of our lost sheep PimplePeePeeZillaWWE. Let us all reflect on the story of Job, who Satan "smote ... with sore boils from the sole of his foot unto his crown" (Job 2:7), with the permission of the Lord. Job, through all his trials, did not waver from the Lord, and so was rewarded, both with earthly prizes (lots of livestock and a brand new set of smokin'-hot daughters) and with the eternal prize that we all seek.

Attack of the Zits must learn from Job. Cleave yourself unto God SpottySpottyBoilFaceWWE and only then shall you be saved. I pray that that day of salvation comes swiftly for you.

[Abu Obama]

Re: Pray for Pimplepee-peezillaWWE

In my country we would not suffer a boy who has such fantasies to live

He is probably imagining large, confident, handsome men with massively muscular tanned bodies dripping with sweat and writhing against eachother in a wrestling competition. We can only imagine what goes on in the minds of unbelievers!!

[Brother Enoch]

Re: Pray for Pimplepee-peezillaWWE

Luckily I didn't have to pray. I just paid my five bucks and lit a candle. No vomitting necessary. The Pope thinks of everything!