Advice Needed! Uncircumcised boy in my Youth Group!

[Bob4God]

Brothers in Christ, I need your prayers and guidance in an important decision. I'm posting this here to keep it away from the innocent eyes of the weaker sex.

I took my Youth Group boys to the woods this weekend for camping and Bible study, and I made a most disturbing discovery!

It seems that a handful of them decided to sneak off and go skinny dipping in the lake. When I heard laughing and splashing coming from that direction, I went to investigate.

I watched stunned from behind a large tree as I saw a small group of naked teenage boys playing in the water. I watched for several minutes as I prayed fervantly for GOD to give me the words to rebuke them.

Then, as if I weren't already shocked enough, I noticed that something was wrong with one of the boys. His tallywacker wasn't circumcised!

Finally, I stepped out from the woods and ordered them to get out of the water and get their clothes back on. I watched carefully to make sure each of them covered his wet dripping body and didn't go back into the water. Then I sent them back to their cabins.

I didn't say anything more about what I saw, but Genesis 17:10 clearly states, "Every man and child among you shall be circumcised."

Does this apply only to those silly Jews or does it apply to normal people as well? I know that the LORD has a general distaste for the foreskin.

The boy in question is of some kind of so-called native American descent, so I can only assume he was raised in some kind of barbaric tribe somewhere, thus explaining why they didn't strap him down and cut it off when he was born, as was done to our precious Savior.

Should I rebuke him and his parents? Should I print off Landover's do-it-yourself circumcision instructions?

I've been thinking that the best approach is to simply kick him out of the Youth Group. I never trusted injuns that much anyway. I'm sure it was his idea to go naked swimming in the first place.

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: Advice Needed! Uncircumcised boy in my Youth Group!

Brothers in Christ, I need your prayers and guidance in an important decision. I'm posting this here to keep it away from the innocent eyes of the weaker sex.

I took my Youth Group boys to the woods this weekend for camping and Bible study, and I made a most disturbing discovery!

It seems that a handful of them decided to sneak off and go skinny dipping in the lake. When I heard laughing and splashing coming from that direction, I went to investigate.

I watched stunned from behind a large tree as I saw a small group of naked teenage boys playing in the water. I watched for several minutes as I prayed fervantly for GOD to give me the words to rebuke them.

Then, as if I weren't already shocked enough, I noticed that something was wrong with one of the boys. His tallywacker wasn't circumcised!

Finally, I stepped out from the woods and ordered them to get out of the water and get their clothes back on. I watched carefully to make sure each of them covered his wet dripping body and didn't go back into the water. Then I sent them back to their cabins.

I didn't say anything more about what I saw, but Genesis 17:10 clearly states, "Every man and child among you shall be circumcised."

Does this apply only to those silly Jews or does it apply to normal people as well? I know that the LORD has a general distaste for the foreskin.

The boy in question is of some kind of so-called native American descent, so I can only assume he was raised in some kind of barbaric tribe somewhere, thus explaining why they didn't strap him down and cut it off when he was born, as was done to our precious Savior.

Should I rebuke him and his parents? Should I print off Landover's do-it-yourself circumcision instructions?

I've been thinking that the best approach is to simply kick him out of the Youth Group. I never trusted injuns that much anyway. I'm sure it was his idea to go naked swimming in the first place.

According to Paul, circumcision isn't mandatory.

17 But as God has distributed to each one, as the Lord has called each one, so let him walk. And so I ordain in all the churches. 18 Was anyone called while circumcised? Let him not become uncircumcised. Was anyone called while uncircumcised? Let him not be circumcised. 19 Circumcision is nothing and uncircumcision is nothing, but keeping the commandments of God is what matters.
I Corinthians 7: 17-19

[Deaner]

Re: Advice Needed! Uncircumcised boy in my Youth Group!

According to Paul, circumcision isn't mandatory.

That's very good Lumpy. What does the Bible say we should do with Injuns that are encouraging our youth to get drunk and swim naked with each other?

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: Advice Needed! Uncircumcised boy in my Youth Group!

That's very good Lumpy. What does the Bible say we should do with Injuns that are encouraging our youth to get drunk and swim naked with each other?

It says nothing on that subject, so you should do nothing about it.

[Deaner]

Re: Advice Needed! Uncircumcised boy in my Youth Group!

It says nothing on that subject, so you should do nothing about it.

Right. I suppose I should just stand by as he impregnates my young daughter in his wigwam?

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: Advice Needed! Uncircumcised boy in my Youth Group!

Right. I suppose I should just stand by as he impregnates my young daughter in his wigwam?

Perhaps you should teach your daughter how not to get pregnant.

[Deaner]

Re: Advice Needed! Uncircumcised boy in my Youth Group!

Perhaps you should teach your daughter how not to get pregnant.

I get the feeling you spit in the face of Christ just for some cheap laughs.

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: Advice Needed! Uncircumcised boy in my Youth Group!

I get the feeling you spit in the face of Christ just for some cheap laughs.

I've never met the man, and I don't spit in people's faces. That's nasty.

[Nobar King]

Re: Advice Needed! Uncircumcised boy in my Youth Group!

This started off OK with Lump posting something biblical, but then it's instantly devolved into a thread about Lumpiness, and not uncircumcised boys. Do you think we could stay on topic at least once?

[Deaner]

Re: Advice Needed! Uncircumcised boy in my Youth Group!

This started off OK with Lump posting something biblical, but then it's instantly devolved into a thread about Lumpiness, and not uncircumcised boys. Do you think we could stay on topic at least once?

But that's what Lump does. If you re-read her posts she's basically saying she doesn't care what your penis looks like, or what race you are, she'll still have sex with you on the dirt floor of a tent while underage.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Advice Needed! Uncircumcised boy in my Youth Group!

I'm shocked to see Lumpy quote the Bible, correctly, and in a useful and relevant manner.

Pardon me while I pick my jaw up off the floor.

Now, Bob4God, I must say words I never thought I would utter: "Lumpy is right."

There is no reason for you to be concerned about a Christian boy being uncircumcised. To be honest, I'm a bit more concerned about the thought of you taking a crew of teenage boys into the woods alone and closely watching them as they towel off their naked, muscular bodies. Is it possible you have a bit of an excessive interest in young boys?

I think you should tell us exactly what was going through your mind while you stared at them splashing in the water, dripping on the shore, and as you were investigating their choo-choos. Leave nothing out; it will help us to help you purge your mind of any uncleanness.

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: Advice Needed! Uncircumcised boy in my Youth Group!

This started off OK with Lump posting something biblical, but then it's instantly devolved into a thread about Lumpiness, and not uncircumcised boys. Do you think we could stay on topic at least once?

Fine - there is nothing wrong with a boy being cut. In fact, there is no good reason for having a p***s.
As a hateful feminazi witch, I think the p***s should always be removed.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Advice Needed! Uncircumcised boy in my Youth Group!

Perhaps you should teach your daughter how not to get pregnant.

As far as I'm aware, the most effective way of not getting pregnant is to be a man. Are you saying that he should give his daughter a tallywhacker? That's just weird.

[Bob4God]

Re: Advice Needed! Uncircumcised boy in my Youth Group!

Fine - there is nothing wrong with a boy being cut. In fact, there is no good reason for having a p***s.
As a hateful feminazi witch, I think the p***s should always be removed.

I REBUKE YOU, WOMAN!

The only thing you need to know about tallywackers is that they are a part of your womanly duties. You're not even supposed to BE in this section of the forums! Also, you call yourself hateful, a feminazi, and a witch! I REBUKE YOU THREE MORE TIMES, AND AGAIN FOR BEING PROUD OF YOUR SINS!

Brother Rodimer,

Rest very assured I have no interest in young boys but to see them on the right hand of GOD ALMIGHTY in the Kingdom of Heaven. I haven't enjoyed seeing naked people since the day I was saved.

But because I myself want to stroll the streets of gold with our Savior and talk about the people we never really liked back on Earth, I will allow you to look for any signs of uncleanliness there might be in my Godly mind.

Well, my first instinct was to rebuke them sharply for being naked in front of each other and for splashing around in what was obviously very cold water. They could catch a terrible cold!

Then I saw that the heathen wasn't even circumcised, and I remembered what Matthew said about not letting uncircumcised people be around you.

I started to open my mouth wide to do the LORD's will, when I realized I wasn't sure what he was exactly telling me to do, so I had to stop and listen. GOD warned me that because this little injun brat is new to the group, I shouldn't scare him and send him back to tell his parents and have them come scalp me, or sue me for a bunch of money so they can open their own casino. He has enlightened me that, instead, I should corner him in front of all the boys back at church and find out if he's some kind of homo-pervert, and then lead him to CHRIST, no matter how long it takes, GLORY TO GOD AND AMEN!

Thank you, Brothers in Christ!

[Nobar King]

Re: Advice Needed! Uncircumcised boy in my Youth Group!

Sounds like you have everything pretty much under control. Is there anything else about this injun that's worrysome to you?