Andy (split from "Today in Christ")

[Andreas]

Moderator note: Split from the "Today in Christ" thread.

While he may have been a greasy garlic-stinking dago mary-worshipper, he at least had the right idea about converting jews and mudslimes.

In general he was a god person. The only thing that threw him to hell was his catlicking faith.

Perhaps he got some special benefits in hell. Jesus may have shortened his daily being-raped-by-Satan time.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

In general he was a god person. The only thing that threw him to hell was his catlicking faith.

Perhaps he got some special benefits in hell. Jesus may have shortened his daily being-raped-by-Satan time.

Andy, you aren't a Godly White Republican American Male, are you....

Maybe you should introduce yourself in the appropriate thread. And for future reference, the word "God" is always capitalized. I'm not sure what a "God person" might be....American grammar and spelling are clearly not your strong suits....

[Andreas]

Andy, you aren't a Godly White Republican American Male, are you....

Maybe you should introduce yourself in the appropriate thread. And for future reference, the word "God" is always capitalized. I'm not sure what a "God person" might be....American grammar and spelling are clearly not your strong suits....

I am so sorry pastor Ezekiel. Will you ever forgive me?

I meant a good person, but demons have probably stolen an "o"...

Again, I am very sorry

May God forgive me

[Talitha]

I am so sorry pastor Ezekiel. Will you ever forgive me?

I meant a good person, but demons have probably stolen an "o"...

Again, I am very sorry

May God forgive me

The Pastors on this Godly Site are very forgiving.
For Jesus to also forgive you, I think a Loving Donation is in order.

Is this not so Pastor Ezekiel?

Demons are everywhere. I shall pray for you.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

The Pastors on this Godly Site are very forgiving.
For Jesus to also forgive you, I think a Loving Donation is in order.

Is this not so Pastor Ezekiel?

Demons are everywhere. I shall pray for you.

Well said, sister. A love offering to Jesus is always in order, the better to show ones remorse. So far Andy can't seem to find his mother's credit cards...

[Andreas]

Well said, sister. A love offering to Jesus is always in order, the better to show ones remorse. So far Andy can't seem to find his mother's credit cards...

Pastor, wouldn't that be an act against God?

Honor thy father and thy mother

Thou shalt not steal.

Yours in Christ

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Pastor, wouldn't that be an act against God?

Honor thy father and thy mother

Thou shalt not steal.

Yours in Christ

Well andy, I have long suspected that your knowledge of God's Holy Word is quite limited, and now you have shown the world how right I was.

Luke 14:26
If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children,and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple.

So much for your ideas about honor...

Lev 27:32 And concerning the tithe of the herd, or of the flock, [even] of whatsoever passeth under the rod, the tenth shall be holy unto the LORD.

Num 18:26 Thus speak unto the Levites, and say unto them, When ye take of the children of Israel the tithes which I have given you from them for your inheritance, then ye shall offer up an heave offering of it for the LORD, [even] a tenth [part] of the tithe.

Mal 3:8 Will a man rob God? Yet ye have robbed me. But ye say, Wherein have we robbed thee? In tithes and offerings.

Do you really want to rob Jesus, while claiming that your mommy is more important than the Everlasting Life He offers us?

Now andy, its time to come clean....are you a Christian of some sort? Do you even own a Bible? How much time do you spend in Prayer? Time to be honest. Jesus is listening!

[Deaner]

Pastor, wouldn't that be an act against God?

Honor thy father and thy mother

Thou shalt not steal.

Andrew; accusations that people here are encouraging you to steal are false and inflammatory. Please hold your tongue.

The correct term is "borrow" which implies you have asked permission. Something along the lines of...

"Mom & Dad; would you mind if I used your credit card to send Sweet Baby Jesus a love offering of $1000 US so He can be better prepared to protect us from mudslimes, homers and darkies?"

See? See the difference? It's a request; nothing sneaky about it.

Now, if they refuse, you will know they are the enemy. And know that Jesus foretold this;

Luke 12:51-52 (King James Version 1611)

51 Suppose ye that I am come to give peace on earth? I tell you, Nay; but rather division:
52 For from henceforth there shall be five in one house divided, three against two, and two against three.

The Bible is filled with commands on how to deal with the enemy. Should it turn out this way, please get back to us and we will offer the appropriate guidance.

Dean

[Andreas]

Luke 14:26
If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children,and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple.

I am a bit confused now. Who should I listen: God, who gave the commandments, or Jesus?

Do you really want to rob Jesus, while claiming that your mommy is more important than the Everlasting Life He offers us?

Don't worry pastor, I have 2 credit cards. I'll tithe.

Now andy, its time to come clean....are you a Christian of some sort? Do you even own a Bible? How much time do you spend in Prayer? Time to be honest. Jesus is listening!

Well, of course I own a bible. Paper and electronic issue.

I pray when I feel a need to: whenever I need something and whenever I see demoncrats on TV.

[Talitha]

I am a bit confused now. Who should I listen: God, who gave the commandments, or Jesus?

Don't worry pastor, I have 2 credit cards. I'll tithe.
Well, of course I own a bible. Paper and electronic issue.
I pray when I feel a need to: whenever I need something and whenever I see demoncrats on TV.

AndrewisI; I feel you need some further Bible study to understand the Terminology.
If you have a spare room in your house I'm sure myself or another of our Sisters can come over and give you some assistance. and knock some sense into you!

Now, you say you have a Bible? There are many kinds of false Bible versions. The only one that contains 100% God's truth is The King James 1611 Version.

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Today's Interesting Factoid

The most commonly stolen book is:

THE BIBLE

[Andreas]

AndrewisI; I feel you need some further Bible study to understand the Terminology.
If you have a spare room in your house I'm sure myself or another of our Sisters can come over and give you some assistance. and knock some sense into you!

I too fell I have so much to learn. You are truly kind, sister

Now, you say you have a Bible? There are many kinds of false Bible versions. The only one that contains 100% God's truth is The King James 1611 Version.

I thought KJV means Bible. Other versions don't even deserve to be called that way.

I would never ever try to smuggle one of those "fake books" into my home. That would be an extreme blasphemy.

Yours in Christ

[SalvationSeeker]

I pray when I feel a need to: whenever I need something and whenever I see demoncrats on TV.

Not good enough, you need to pray more than that, Andrew:
"Pray without ceasing."
1 Thessalonians 5:17

[Pastor Ezekiel]

I am a bit confused now. Who should I listen: God, who gave the commandments, or Jesus?

Now that is a bizarre question.

Andy, can you explain the fundamental differences between God and Jesus, in 500 words or more? Back up your findings with scripture please.

[Brother V]

I am a bit confused now. Who should I listen: God, who gave the commandments, or Jesus?

AndrewisI, here is the issue.

Luke 14:26 If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children,and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple.

and

Exodus 20:12 Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.

Is that what you are having problems with?

Lets do a search for two words (love mother) on biblegateway.com and see what we get. I find 9 verses, what'd you come up with?

http://www.biblegateway.com/quicksearch/?quicksearch=love+mother&x=0&y=0

Which one of the verses said to "LOVE your father and mother"?

Holy crap, NONE OF THEM!

Is that right? It can't be, I was always taught that I should love my parents, but I guess that just isn't really a biblical (kjv1611) value. We are to HONOUR them.

Lets look at this verse. (number 7 in the list)

Matthew 10:37 He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.

HOLY CRAP again! Jesus said someone who loves his parents more than Him isn't worthy of Him.

Man. That just doesn't seem right, at least not how I was raised as a wishy washy christian.

The issue is, Honour.

1. Jesus said to be His disciple you have to hate your family.

2. The bible (kjv1611) says to honour your family.

This may be just my opinion, but I believe that the best way to bring HONOUR to your family would be to be Jesus Disciple. Don't you think so to?

What greater GLORY could you bring to your mother and father, than to be a Disciple of Christ (r)?

I assure you, there is nothing better you could do!

YIC
V