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Straight 4 Jesus! (Back Door Christians) At LBC, we will cure your perversion of choice (even if we have to stone you).

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  #1  
Old 02-08-2007, 02:04 AM
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Glendora Christianson Glendora Christianson is offline
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Glendora Christianson is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Glendora Christianson is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Glendora Christianson is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Glendora Christianson is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Glendora Christianson is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Glendora Christianson is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Glendora Christianson is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Glendora Christianson is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Glendora Christianson is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Glendora Christianson is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Glendora Christianson is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus!

Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! I'm sure we'll be helping lots of lost homers in the future. And if there's one thing I'm sure of, our help will work better than any feel-good, false Christian nonsense. So, even though our Lord Jesus Christ will probably burn these homers in Hell, let's do our best to help our "back door" Christians.
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Last edited by OnYourKnees; 02-09-2007 at 05:13 PM.
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  #2  
Old 02-08-2007, 02:51 AM
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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus!

Oh good lord! Yet ANOTHER fanatical Christian attempt to cure something that is NOT in need of ANY CURE!!
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Old 02-08-2007, 02:59 AM
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Glendora Christianson Glendora Christianson is offline
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Glendora Christianson is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Glendora Christianson is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Glendora Christianson is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Glendora Christianson is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Glendora Christianson is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Glendora Christianson is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Glendora Christianson is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Glendora Christianson is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Glendora Christianson is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Glendora Christianson is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Glendora Christianson is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus!

Quote:
Originally Posted by TwinkBoy View Post
Oh good lord! Yet ANOTHER fanatical Christian attempt to cure something that is NOT in need of ANY CURE!!
Leviticus 20:13!
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Old 02-08-2007, 03:35 AM
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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus!

Quote:
Originally Posted by TwinkBoy View Post
Oh good lord! Yet ANOTHER fanatical Christian attempt to cure something that is NOT in need of ANY CURE!!
You mean like GRIDS (Gay Related Immune Deficiency Syndrome)?
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  #5  
Old 02-08-2007, 03:36 AM
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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus!

Praise! The door is open, and the abomination who needs help the most comes straight in! (Please pardon the pun.)
TwerpBoy, open yourself to Jesus! Let Him come in!
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  #6  
Old 02-08-2007, 04:04 AM
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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Mary Maria View Post
Praise! The door is open, and the abomination who needs help the most comes straight in! (Please pardon the pun.)
TwerpBoy, open yourself to Jesus! Let Him come in!
Well said, Sister M&Ms! I was just thinking the very same thing!

TwinkBoy, I'm so very glad to see you pop right up at the mention of the word "backdoor"! No doubt you've heard of Ted Haggard's miraculous cure, and want a taste of Jesus' Love for yourself.

Well, this is the place! You'll get your fill here!!
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  #7  
Old 02-08-2007, 04:23 AM
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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Mary Maria View Post
Praise! The door is open, and the abomination who needs help the most comes straight in! (Please pardon the pun.)
TwerpBoy, open yourself to Jesus! Let Him come in!
Open myself to Jesus? We'll what do you think he has up his..ah..sleeve? And, will I require a chastity belt? LMAO!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by OnYourKnees View Post
Well said, Sister M&Ms! I was just thinking the very same thing!

TwinkBoy, I'm so very glad to see you pop right up at the mention of the word "backdoor"! No doubt you've heard of Ted Haggard's miraculous cure, and want a taste of Jesus' Love for yourself.

Well, this is the place! You'll get your fill here!!
Backdoor? Hey, love, that ALWAYS gets MY attention, if you know what I mean (snicker, snicker). Oh yes, I've heard of Teddy's "miracle cure" and, frankly love, its a FARCE!! Now, do I or do I not want a TASTE of Jesus' love for myself? Hmmm....well...love...what flavor do you think he is??

I'm just a WILD and an UNTAMED thing.............
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Last edited by TwinkBoy; 02-08-2007 at 04:29 AM.
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  #8  
Old 02-08-2007, 04:38 AM
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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus!

Well, TB (yes, like the disease), do you have any evidence that Ted Haggard has NOT been cured?
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  #9  
Old 02-08-2007, 04:47 AM
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Virginia D. Templeton Virginia D. Templeton is offline
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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Glendora Christianson View Post
Leviticus 20:13!
Amen, Sister. God wrote it for a reason. Homosexuality is not part of His plan—that's why He made anal sex so exquisitely painful.
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  #10  
Old 02-09-2007, 05:20 PM
Poetic Peter Poetic Peter is offline
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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus!

I hear Ted got his homocure from a "divinity mill", via "coupon redemption".


Nonetheless, it all seems to be on the level, despite the pseudonymous namings.



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  #11  
Old 02-26-2007, 08:04 AM
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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus!

For those of you sodomites who are listening to Jesus and doing your best to fight those satanic urges, THIS Ebay auction might be of interest. Better hurry!

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Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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  #12  
Old 03-03-2008, 10:59 PM
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Eggadmin Eggadmin is offline
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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus!

hi evebody here. i from egypt. all peoples at forums call me nigger but i not nigger. i arab. hope all here me respact
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Old 03-04-2008, 03:45 AM
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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus!

Heathen
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Old 03-04-2008, 03:51 AM
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Eggadmin View Post
hi evebody here. i from egypt. all peoples at forums call me nigger but i not nigger. i arab. hope all here me respact
Are you a sodomite? Is that why you posted here? Is your camel-wife a male?

Please go to the "introductions" section and make your own thread. Tell us about yourself and why you are here.

Try using the caps key to post in proper American. And please spare us the details of your sodomite camel relationships, okay? Jesus doesn't want to hear about that.
__________________
Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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  #15  
Old 03-04-2008, 12:12 PM
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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus!

Quote:
Originally Posted by "ForGodsSake"
Heathen
i not heathen. i good muslim.
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  #16  
Old 03-04-2008, 01:15 PM
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ForGodsSake ForGodsSake is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Eggadmin View Post
i not heathen. i good muslim.
Child killer. Did not the blessed Pastor Ezekiel tell you to introduce yourself. Your only making it worse for your self.
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(2 Peter 3:10)

But the day of the Lord will come as a thief in the night; in the which the heavens shall pass away with a great noise, and the elements shall melt with fervent heat, the earth also and the works that are therein shall be burned up.
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  #17  
Old 07-06-2008, 01:34 AM
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Tallywacker Hater Tallywacker Hater is offline
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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus!

Just out of curiouscity, since I'm a transsexual and not a homosexual, how do you "cure" me? What treatment would I get that would be different from what homosexuals get?
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Old 07-06-2008, 04:19 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tara Mo View Post
Just out of curiouscity, since I'm a transsexual and not a homosexual, how do you "cure" me? What treatment would I get that would be different from what homosexuals get?
Is there a difference between a wetback and a beaner? No! One sodomite is no different than the others, some just are so much more messed up and effeminate they cut their tallywhackers off!
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1 Timothy 2:13-15 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
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Old 07-06-2008, 07:36 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Mary Maria View Post
Is there a difference between a wetback and a beaner? No! One sodomite is no different than the others, some just are so much more messed up and effeminate they cut their tallywhackers off!
Actually, you can consider yourself corrected. Okay, yeah, you can say it was in Jesus name if you want. Whatever. Anyway, a beaner is an ethnic slur refering to lots of beans in hispanic foods while wetback refers to illegal aliens who enter the country by swimming across the Rio Grande.

But, let's go on to the next question, shall we? I'm transsexual. That alone does not make me a "homer." What if I get SRS and start dating lesbians. Would either one of us be sinners? Better yet, what if I dated a F2M transsexual? Would either of us sin, then?
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Old 07-06-2008, 07:59 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tara Mo View Post
Actually, you can consider yourself corrected. Okay, yeah, you can say it was in Jesus name if you want. Whatever. Anyway, a beaner is an ethnic slur refering to lots of beans in hispanic foods while wetback refers to illegal aliens who enter the country by swimming across the Rio Grande.

But, let's go on to the next question, shall we? I'm transsexual. That alone does not make me a "homer." What if I get SRS and start dating lesbians. Would either one of us be sinners? Better yet, what if I dated a F2M transsexual? Would either of us sin, then?
Those questions have been answered. Jesus considers you a filthy vile pervert, end of story.

Quote:
Romans 1:26 For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature:
1:27 And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet.
1:28 And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient;
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Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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