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Meet Kenny Wagg and Bliar
This is the text of President Bush's next communication that will be aired on Fox News on Sunday March 29.
"I thank you for giving me this opportunity to explain to all countries of the world, other than the USA why I was such a dick head for the whole eight years of my presidency."
Initially, events went well but I then had the misfortune to fall under the spell of my Vice President and remained in that vein for the rest of my term and incidentally, I do have to thank the idiots who returned me to the office for my remaining four years. It did save me from having to rig the Florida vote again although I am sure I could have done so just as successfully a second time. But I digress. Vice President Cheney whom you may not know all that well but who is extremely well known to the American voter, is the person who engineered the Iraqi invasion with his brilliant ploy of claiming that Saddam had weapons of mass destruction. He was able to do this with ease, after first having arranged with Osama Bin Laden to take over four American Airlines flights and crash them into the Twin Towers and the Pentagon. The air plane headed for The White House was however terminated in flight and that was a brilliant strategy on his part.
It did open the way to the Treasury vaults however and Dick was able to extract billions of dollars for his friends at Halliburton at the expense of gullible taxpayers. I must admit that took me by surprise because I thought part of that was heading in my direction. We do however live with the consolation that our work has created an 8 trillion dollar deficit and Wall Street will be twice rewarded for it's mendacity.
I do regret having stated that "You are either with us or against us" and must take responsibility for having dragged other countries into the fight but it was necessary to appease the American public because, although I was not adverse to losing a few thousand soldiers (mainly blacks of course) in Iraq, I felt that if coalition countries lost a few too, the ignorant American public would see that as a fair compromise.
I never realised how easy it would be to have congress follow my every request without even a murmur. But I later came to the conclusion that all it needs is a bit (or a lot) of corruption here or there or in fact everywhere to do the trick. In fact, I was so successful at it that the USA is now the most corrupt country on the planet with American banks, insurance companies and car manufacturers all having an extra slice of taxpayers money, as well as individuals such as Madoff and Stanford having screwed a gullible public.
Even at this late stage after I was forced out of office by that no longer than two terms policy, I have the last laugh - screwing Obama with at least another 8 trillion dollars to find from nowhere.
Long live the Republican Party and piffle the rest of you."
"I thank you for giving me this opportunity to explain to all countries of the world, other than the USA why I was such a dick head for the whole eight years of my presidency."
Initially, events went well but I then had the misfortune to fall under the spell of my Vice President and remained in that vein for the rest of my term and incidentally, I do have to thank the idiots who returned me to the office for my remaining four years. It did save me from having to rig the Florida vote again although I am sure I could have done so just as successfully a second time. But I digress. Vice President Cheney whom you may not know all that well but who is extremely well known to the American voter, is the person who engineered the Iraqi invasion with his brilliant ploy of claiming that Saddam had weapons of mass destruction. He was able to do this with ease, after first having arranged with Osama Bin Laden to take over four American Airlines flights and crash them into the Twin Towers and the Pentagon. The air plane headed for The White House was however terminated in flight and that was a brilliant strategy on his part.
It did open the way to the Treasury vaults however and Dick was able to extract billions of dollars for his friends at Halliburton at the expense of gullible taxpayers. I must admit that took me by surprise because I thought part of that was heading in my direction. We do however live with the consolation that our work has created an 8 trillion dollar deficit and Wall Street will be twice rewarded for it's mendacity.
I do regret having stated that "You are either with us or against us" and must take responsibility for having dragged other countries into the fight but it was necessary to appease the American public because, although I was not adverse to losing a few thousand soldiers (mainly blacks of course) in Iraq, I felt that if coalition countries lost a few too, the ignorant American public would see that as a fair compromise.
I never realised how easy it would be to have congress follow my every request without even a murmur. But I later came to the conclusion that all it needs is a bit (or a lot) of corruption here or there or in fact everywhere to do the trick. In fact, I was so successful at it that the USA is now the most corrupt country on the planet with American banks, insurance companies and car manufacturers all having an extra slice of taxpayers money, as well as individuals such as Madoff and Stanford having screwed a gullible public.
Even at this late stage after I was forced out of office by that no longer than two terms policy, I have the last laugh - screwing Obama with at least another 8 trillion dollars to find from nowhere.
Long live the Republican Party and piffle the rest of you."
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