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Greetings to all my fellow Christians!
Allow me to briefly introduce myself. My friends call me "Free Market Fred," an appropriate name given my business in the China trade. Although the American public is hardly aware of us, it's people like me who bring you those low everyday prices at Wal-Mart. Thanks to Chinese slave labor, you can enjoy those DVD players for less than $30. Of course, most consumers would cry if they knew that I buy them for $5, but don't forget how hard I work for my profits! Plus I have to suffer the horrors of living here in Hong Kong, a crowded city populated almost entirely by heathen Chinks. Thank The Lord for my chauffeur-driven limousine, or else I'd have to mingle with them on the buses and subway, exposing myself to Asian diseases that would turn my skin yellow and I'd wind up looking like the sickly locals.
Of course, to do my job, I sometimes have to leave the comforts of my penthouse apartment, and even make trips across the border into China itself, a barbaric country that we should have nuked long ago. On the other hand, China is kind of useful to America, and not just for the cheap labor. For example, it's great that all the factory effluent gets dumped into their rivers rather than ours, and that the toxic smoke is inhaled by them, rather than us. I just worry that some of that stuff drifts into Hong Kong where I live - that's why I've installed filters on all the windows. Breathing that Chink air - hey, no wonder you never see birds over there. I'm suspicious of the water too, so I buy imported Perrier by the container-load - I even use it for bathing and doing my laundry.
I'm really glad to discover this forum. I get kind of lonely over here, though I do see some of my fellow Americans on occasion, heading to China to get organ transplants (that gulag has it's upside). Of course, I don't really have much time to socialize - I'm especially busy this time of year exporting all those Christmas toys. We've also had some problem lately with striking workers, if you can believe it - thank the Lord for those child and prison laborers, or I don't know how we'd fill our orders at a reasonable cost.
Anyway, I'm always willing to help my fellow Christians. Let me know if any of you are interested in buying a Chink kid for adoption - I got a friend who knows just where to get them, and you don't have to worry about the kid's parents kicking up a fuss. If any of those slants start getting uppity, I'm sure we can arrange for them to become the next organ donor, if you know what I mean.
Praise Jesus, and keep up the good work spreading the word of The Lord.
Brother Fred
Allow me to briefly introduce myself. My friends call me "Free Market Fred," an appropriate name given my business in the China trade. Although the American public is hardly aware of us, it's people like me who bring you those low everyday prices at Wal-Mart. Thanks to Chinese slave labor, you can enjoy those DVD players for less than $30. Of course, most consumers would cry if they knew that I buy them for $5, but don't forget how hard I work for my profits! Plus I have to suffer the horrors of living here in Hong Kong, a crowded city populated almost entirely by heathen Chinks. Thank The Lord for my chauffeur-driven limousine, or else I'd have to mingle with them on the buses and subway, exposing myself to Asian diseases that would turn my skin yellow and I'd wind up looking like the sickly locals.
Of course, to do my job, I sometimes have to leave the comforts of my penthouse apartment, and even make trips across the border into China itself, a barbaric country that we should have nuked long ago. On the other hand, China is kind of useful to America, and not just for the cheap labor. For example, it's great that all the factory effluent gets dumped into their rivers rather than ours, and that the toxic smoke is inhaled by them, rather than us. I just worry that some of that stuff drifts into Hong Kong where I live - that's why I've installed filters on all the windows. Breathing that Chink air - hey, no wonder you never see birds over there. I'm suspicious of the water too, so I buy imported Perrier by the container-load - I even use it for bathing and doing my laundry.
I'm really glad to discover this forum. I get kind of lonely over here, though I do see some of my fellow Americans on occasion, heading to China to get organ transplants (that gulag has it's upside). Of course, I don't really have much time to socialize - I'm especially busy this time of year exporting all those Christmas toys. We've also had some problem lately with striking workers, if you can believe it - thank the Lord for those child and prison laborers, or I don't know how we'd fill our orders at a reasonable cost.
Anyway, I'm always willing to help my fellow Christians. Let me know if any of you are interested in buying a Chink kid for adoption - I got a friend who knows just where to get them, and you don't have to worry about the kid's parents kicking up a fuss. If any of those slants start getting uppity, I'm sure we can arrange for them to become the next organ donor, if you know what I mean.
Praise Jesus, and keep up the good work spreading the word of The Lord.
Brother Fred
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