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Landover has always been renowned for the quality of the information it provides on all the latest "groovy" underground satanic trends, such as beatniks and goths. In keeping with this fine tradition, I would like to present a short guide to an even newer and more insidious threat: emo.
In this guide, I will attempt to explain how features of virtually all previous satanic cults have merged to create this ‘super-cult’.
BIBLICAL REFERENCES TO EMO:
1 Corinthians 11:14 Doth not even nature itself teach you, that, if a man have long hair, it is a shame unto him?
Zephaniah 1:8 And it shall come to pass in the day of the LORD's sacrifice, that I will punish the princes, and the king's children, and all such as are clothed with strange apparel.
1 Timothy 3:
1 This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come.
2 For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, 3 Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good,
4 Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God...
1 Corinthians 6:9 Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind...
What do you get when you cross a punk, a goth, a hippy, a homer, a drug addict, a liebral, a darkie, a Joo, a Catholic, and a mudslum terrorist?
Emo
Punk – Punk was a movement invented in 1977 by a Jewish accountant named Malcolm Maclaren as a way to get rich quickly while promoting disrespect for authority, drug abuse, atheism and paedophilia. The worst and most degraded elements of punk eventually became known as ‘hardcore’ which in turn spawned an even more degenerate style – Emotional Hardcore, which rapidly became shortened to ‘emo’ when it was realised that the brains of most emo fans, or ‘hemosexuals’ as they are technically known, were too drug-addled to remember any word more than three letters long.
Goth – Discussed in far more detail elsewhere on this site. Suffice to say that Goths wear black, worship Satan, listen to awful depressing music and practice witchcraft and self-harm – all traits imitated by hemos.
Hippy – Like hippies, all hemos are long-haired drug abusing nancy boys.
Homer – Just look at them. In addition, virtually all emo music contains hidden and subliminal references to sodomy. A case in point is the inexplicably popular emo act My Chemical Romance, where ‘chemical’ is cockney rhyming slang for ‘homosexual.’ In addition, the lead singer is named Gerard Way, a clear anagram of ‘We’re all gay’. The fact that this anagram is misspelt is yet more testimony to the remarkable idiocy of emo culture.
However, although naturally homosexual, hemos will often use their feminine wiles to seduce the wives and daughters of good Christian men in order to recruit more members for their cult. They will then enter into a ‘relationship’ lasting on average two weeks, at the close of which they will retreat to their rooms, listen to some godawful whiney music and then soil themselves. If they can persuade their ‘ex’ to enact a similar ritual, the cult has gained another member. If you catch a hemo sniffing around your daughter, or, even worse, your wife, do not hesitate to do what is necessary. The Lord will look kindly upon you.
Drug addict – All emo followers are addicted to drugs. Fact.
liebral – The emo lifestyle could not exist without misguided liebral notions of ‘tolerance’. Hemos are well aware of this, and will stop at nothing to promote the liebral agenda, as witnessed by the recent caterwaulings of Alkaline Trio and Yellowcard in support of John Kerry.
Darkie- When gazing upon the pale, pasty face of a hemo, it seems inconceivable that they could have anything in common with Negros. However, the ‘values’ that emo cherishes – emotional openness and generally being a self-pitying crybaby – were first introduced into white culture by the terrorist Mahatma Gandhi in order to undermine the reserve, ‘stiff upper lip’ and self-control which had enabled Great Britain to conquer the world.
Joo – Anyone who has ever been unfortunate enough to be trapped in conversation with a hemo will know that they are obsessed with ideas such as ‘issues’, ‘baggage’, ‘neuroses’ and ‘emotions’ – utterly unscientific, and, worse, unchristian ideas invented by the Hebrew psychologists Sigmund Freud and Woody Allen.
Catholic – The lyrics to all emo songs are exclusively concerned with the pain involved with relationships. This serves to put youngsters off marriage, and promote the Catholic ideal of celibacy.
Mudslum terrorist – Emo music serves to put the listener in a suicidal state. Thus, it is an invaluable ally of the terrorists, as emo fans are easily recruited to become suicide bombers. It is a proven fact that the 7th July bombers were all listening to Jimmy Eat World (JEW – yet more proof of emo’s unchristian connections) through headphones at the time of the attacks.
For more information on this Satanic cult, I most thoroughly recommend this excellent article. It's so gloriously well-written, it could almost have been the work of one of our members.
In conclusion, hemos are the lowest scum on God’s green earth. They must be destroyed.
In this guide, I will attempt to explain how features of virtually all previous satanic cults have merged to create this ‘super-cult’.
BIBLICAL REFERENCES TO EMO:
1 Corinthians 11:14 Doth not even nature itself teach you, that, if a man have long hair, it is a shame unto him?
Zephaniah 1:8 And it shall come to pass in the day of the LORD's sacrifice, that I will punish the princes, and the king's children, and all such as are clothed with strange apparel.
1 Timothy 3:
1 This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come.
2 For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, 3 Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good,
4 Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God...
1 Corinthians 6:9 Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind...
What do you get when you cross a punk, a goth, a hippy, a homer, a drug addict, a liebral, a darkie, a Joo, a Catholic, and a mudslum terrorist?
Emo
Punk – Punk was a movement invented in 1977 by a Jewish accountant named Malcolm Maclaren as a way to get rich quickly while promoting disrespect for authority, drug abuse, atheism and paedophilia. The worst and most degraded elements of punk eventually became known as ‘hardcore’ which in turn spawned an even more degenerate style – Emotional Hardcore, which rapidly became shortened to ‘emo’ when it was realised that the brains of most emo fans, or ‘hemosexuals’ as they are technically known, were too drug-addled to remember any word more than three letters long.
Goth – Discussed in far more detail elsewhere on this site. Suffice to say that Goths wear black, worship Satan, listen to awful depressing music and practice witchcraft and self-harm – all traits imitated by hemos.
Hippy – Like hippies, all hemos are long-haired drug abusing nancy boys.
Homer – Just look at them. In addition, virtually all emo music contains hidden and subliminal references to sodomy. A case in point is the inexplicably popular emo act My Chemical Romance, where ‘chemical’ is cockney rhyming slang for ‘homosexual.’ In addition, the lead singer is named Gerard Way, a clear anagram of ‘We’re all gay’. The fact that this anagram is misspelt is yet more testimony to the remarkable idiocy of emo culture.
However, although naturally homosexual, hemos will often use their feminine wiles to seduce the wives and daughters of good Christian men in order to recruit more members for their cult. They will then enter into a ‘relationship’ lasting on average two weeks, at the close of which they will retreat to their rooms, listen to some godawful whiney music and then soil themselves. If they can persuade their ‘ex’ to enact a similar ritual, the cult has gained another member. If you catch a hemo sniffing around your daughter, or, even worse, your wife, do not hesitate to do what is necessary. The Lord will look kindly upon you.
Drug addict – All emo followers are addicted to drugs. Fact.
liebral – The emo lifestyle could not exist without misguided liebral notions of ‘tolerance’. Hemos are well aware of this, and will stop at nothing to promote the liebral agenda, as witnessed by the recent caterwaulings of Alkaline Trio and Yellowcard in support of John Kerry.
Darkie- When gazing upon the pale, pasty face of a hemo, it seems inconceivable that they could have anything in common with Negros. However, the ‘values’ that emo cherishes – emotional openness and generally being a self-pitying crybaby – were first introduced into white culture by the terrorist Mahatma Gandhi in order to undermine the reserve, ‘stiff upper lip’ and self-control which had enabled Great Britain to conquer the world.
Joo – Anyone who has ever been unfortunate enough to be trapped in conversation with a hemo will know that they are obsessed with ideas such as ‘issues’, ‘baggage’, ‘neuroses’ and ‘emotions’ – utterly unscientific, and, worse, unchristian ideas invented by the Hebrew psychologists Sigmund Freud and Woody Allen.
Catholic – The lyrics to all emo songs are exclusively concerned with the pain involved with relationships. This serves to put youngsters off marriage, and promote the Catholic ideal of celibacy.
Mudslum terrorist – Emo music serves to put the listener in a suicidal state. Thus, it is an invaluable ally of the terrorists, as emo fans are easily recruited to become suicide bombers. It is a proven fact that the 7th July bombers were all listening to Jimmy Eat World (JEW – yet more proof of emo’s unchristian connections) through headphones at the time of the attacks.
For more information on this Satanic cult, I most thoroughly recommend this excellent article. It's so gloriously well-written, it could almost have been the work of one of our members.
In conclusion, hemos are the lowest scum on God’s green earth. They must be destroyed.
, or do they pine pine pines 
for thier lost hetero-hemo 
, listenin to whine hardcore musicks 
emos are indeed some kind of mormons, but so are you baptists.
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