Women Drivers: Abomination, or Civil Menace?

[LordHaveMercy]

Brothers, I come to you to ask what you would have done in my stead. Now you may all not know this, but I an not a fan of the woman being allowed out of the house, except for necessary tasks such as food shopping. For this, I allow her enough time to walk to the markets and back, or occasionally, to take the heathen Public Transport, if the weather is especially inclement, as I am a kind and gentle man. I would never countenance a woman operating any type of dangerous vehicle, or any vehicle or device at all, that requires more than three controls.


However, the other day at dinner, as I was finishing a last piece of prime rib, I felt a shocking pain in my chest. After I was able to finally get up from the floor, my otherwise fine and obedient Christian wife actually offered to drive me to the hospital! I would have switched her senseless for even suggesting such a thing, had I been able to lift my arm. Instead, all I could do to remind her of her duties was order her to the floor for the remainder of the evening, with short breaks to get me some warm apple crisp, which had been cooling since dinnertime.


Well now brothers, the pain has passed, and I am one hundred percent myself again, as it takes more than a little ongoing chest pain radiating down the arms to put a Good Christian Man down! So I ask you, what would you have done in that situation? Would you have accepted such a request from your wife? Would you even have countenanced it? I will ask the Good Christian ladies here as well, what on God's green earth would have made you suggest such a thing?


Yours in all of God's mercy.

[Brother Harold Porter]

Re: Women Drivers: Abomination, or Civil Menace?

You did the right thing Brother. In her excitement of having the temporary privilege, she surely would have killed you both. A woman just doesn't have the motor skills for the safe operation of anything more complicated than a toaster.

Take the opportunity now to teach her to use the telephone. Mrs. Porter memorized "911" in just a few days and we have weekly practice drills just to make sure she can keep her wits about her in an actual emergency.

In Jesus!

[Levi Jones]

Re: Women Drivers: Abomination, or Civil Menace?

Wow! You are godly strict. I admit I do spoil my wife by allowing her to drive the mini-van to shuttle the children around to our various homeschooling groups.

If it is important to you, I would suggest an ambulance.

[handmaiden]

Re: Women Drivers: Abomination, or Civil Menace?

The first thing that I do when I get into my car is to offer up a prayer.

The Bible isn't very specfic about women driving things like donkeys, horses, chariots or cars. Since no man has forbidden me, I go ahead and drive, but not very often and not very far.

Jesus is always in the seat beside me, though.


Carefully Yours,

Handmaiden

[Annie1]

Re: Women Drivers: Abomination, or Civil Menace?

Cars are too difficult for our little minds to operate properly, we gals should be worried more about what to make for supper. My daddy says that I am not to drive. When ma needs to go to the market she walks, regardless of the weather. When she's pregnant I go instead, I have a thick coat and an umbrella that does me nicely.

Here's a good instructional video. Can you hear the people laughing at her poor British lady:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=39qdhbkTko4

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Women Drivers: Abomination, or Civil Menace?

As to the question in the title . . . I believe the correct answer is "Yes."

Wow! You are godly strict. I admit I do spoil my wife by allowing her to drive the mini-van to shuttle the children around to our various homeschooling groups.

If it is important to you, I would suggest an ambulance.

Brother, I'm concerned. Don't you think a woman would be too distracted by all the sirens and pretty lights to safely drive an ambulance?

[Brother Harold Porter]

Re: Women Drivers: Abomination, or Civil Menace?

Cars are too difficult for our little minds to operate properly, we gals should be worried more about what to make for supper. My daddy says that I am not to drive. When ma needs to go to the market she walks, regardless of the weather. When she's pregnant I go instead, I have a thick coat and an umbrella that does me nicely.

Here's a good instructional video. Can you hear the people laughing at her poor British lady:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=39qdhbkTko4

Bless you Sister for your honest humility!

Just for kicks, I asked my insurance agent what it would cost to put Mrs. Porter on my policy. Nearly 8 times what I now pay for myself!

She complained about taking the bus everywhere at first, but it was more her frustration in understanding the complexities of transfers and routes than anything else. Now she enjoys the company in the morning with all the other hens in Freehold.

In Christ!

[BelieverInGod]

Re: Women Drivers: Abomination, or Civil Menace?

I take it that this is a bad thread to mention I drive an F350 with a camper and quite often am towing a dog trailer.

Face it, with hubby out of town 2/3 of the time, it's near impossible to live without the truck.

[Brother Harold Porter]

Re: Women Drivers: Abomination, or Civil Menace?

I take it that this is a bad thread to mention I drive an F350 with a camper and quite often am towing a dog trailer.

Face it, with hubby out of town 2/3 of the time, it's near impossible to live without the truck.

Does your hubby own an auto body shop? I don't see any other way it could be cost effective.

[James Dewitt]

Re: Women Drivers: Abomination, or Civil Menace?

Phebe drives all the time, mostly in her Maybach. Never my Porsche, not going to happen ever! She does well except on the roundabout, she goes in circles for 15 or 20 minutes before she gets to the out side lane. I feel much better now that she uses the cell phone that is built into the car, nothing more freighting than a woman driver that has one hand with a phone in it and lipstick in the other going 65mph.

[WWJDnow]

Re: Women Drivers: Abomination, or Civil Menace?

Brothers, I come to you to ask what you would have done in my stead. Now you may all not know this, but I an not a fan of the woman being allowed out of the house, except for necessary tasks such as food shopping. For this, I allow her enough time to walk to the markets and back, or occasionally, to take the heathen Public Transport, if the weather is especially inclement, as I am a kind and gentle man. I would never countenance a woman operating any type of dangerous vehicle, or any vehicle or device at all, that requires more than three controls.

I'm a more modern True Christian(TM), so I plan to let my wife drive when she's not being segregated during her menstrual period, but I think the important thing here is that you are setting a fine example for others in our forums. As 1 Peter 3 tells us, women should "be in subjegation" to their husbands, and of a "meek and quiet spirit." This means that a man has to take a firm hand in the management of his womenfolk. I hope that more men who call themselves Christians will find themselves following your example!

[Jo Freddie]

Re: Women Drivers: Abomination, or Civil Menace?

The female hormone oestrogen could give women the edge when it comes to tasks such as safe driving, say researchers.

Tests showed attention span and ability to learn rules were far better among women than men.

(note: this research was done by "scientists" and we all know about them. I mealy post for information)

[LordHaveMercy]

Re: Women Drivers: Abomination, or Civil Menace?

Brothers and Sisters, thank you for setting my mind at rest.

I might consider letting her operate a Maybach, as it practically drives itself, really. They can't be *that* expensive.

[Brother Harold Porter]

Re: Women Drivers: Abomination, or Civil Menace?

Brothers and Sisters, thank you for setting my mind at rest.

I might consider letting her operate a Maybach, as it practically drives itself, really. They can't be *that* expensive.

I beg of you not to do this! It will upset Christian homes everywhere.

Spending any money on women just enables them in always whining and wanting more. Once you buy her an automobile, it won't be a week before she makes a snotty remark that she needs a nicer house. Then a vacation estate in the Caymans. Her own airplane, etc.

Please stick with public transit as her transportation. It took weeks to teach Mrs. Porter that "Route A" gets her to the Dent and Ding Grocery. "Route B" to the hospital for surgery, etc.. She's finally content to join the other hens as they re-arrange their purses several times and babble about nothingness on their way to town.

And the more money she saves, the more I have to reward her. On her birthday next week, I have promised her that she and her friends will have their own private yellow limo to Denny's and back. On me.

Please don't upset the apple cart!

In Jesus.

[LordHaveMercy]

Re: Women Drivers: Abomination, or Civil Menace?

Wise and True words Brother Porter, as usual! I also looked into a Maybach, I do believe they cost more than our entire congregation makes in several years. (Excepting Pastor John).

I agree, it's best to let sleeping hens lie, or cluck, scratch and walk around, as the case may be. Thank you Sir, for your timely advice!