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Old 09-16-2006, 12:34 AM
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Default Why did Jesus spit?

Why Did Jesus Spit?

Three times in the Bible, Jesus spit to heal people.

In Mark 7:32-35, a deaf man with a speech impediment was brought to Jesus. Jesus put His finger in the man’s ears and, spitting, touched his tongue, then looked up to Heaven and groaned, and said to him, "Ephatha!" (that is, "Be opened!") And immediately the man’s ears were opened, his speech impediment was removed, and he spoke plainly.

In Mark 8:22-25, in Bethsaida, a blind man was brought to Jesus. Jesus took the blind man outside the village. Putting spittle on his eyes, He laid hands on him and asked, "Do you see anything?" Looking up the man replied, "I see people looking like trees and walking." Then Jesus laid hands on his eyes a second time and the man saw clearly, his sight was restored and he could see everything distinctly.

In John 9:1-7, Jesus meets up with a blind man who was blind from birth. Jesus spat on the ground and made clay with the saliva, and smeared the clay on the man’s eyes, and said to him, "Go wash in the Pool of Siloam" (which means sent). So he went and washed, and came back able to see.

Did you ever wonder why, in all these three healings, why Jesus spit? Why did He not just heal these three people, as He did all the others, without spittle?

I would be interested in any ideas you might have as to this Holy mystery.
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Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Old 09-16-2006, 02:50 AM
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Default I am reminded of poor Job.

Thanks for your delightful stories of Jesus' spittle. What I wouldn't give the have a even a small bottle of it. And what a comparison Jesus' magic spittle is to poor Job's. Tested by Satan, sent nightmares by God, Job asks: "How long wilt thou not depart from me, nor let me alone till I swallow down my spittle?" I guess, the rest of us are just destined to swallow.
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Old 09-18-2006, 10:16 AM
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Zeke, I daresay you'll find the 'hidden truths' of the bible in the same location as Santa's workshop.
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Old 09-18-2006, 03:39 PM
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As I remember from a recent Sermon from Pastor Al on this very subject, it is believed that the spittle from a first born has healing properties.
I assume that this only applies to White Christian Males, and if you multiply this a Billion times maybe you get some idea of how powerful this Jesus spittle really is!

Genesis 2:7And the LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul.

Praise The Lord.
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Old 09-18-2006, 04:46 PM
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Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
Zeke, I daresay you'll find the 'hidden truths' of the bible in the same location as Santa's workshop.
santa?
Don't even get me started! We all know that santa is really satan, trying to lure children away from the one that Christmas is really all about:
Jesus Christ.


Jesus spit is holy, and we can only pray that one day, he will have the kindness to spit on us too. Praise!
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Old 09-18-2006, 07:33 PM
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Originally Posted by SalvationSeeker View Post
santa?
Don't even get me started! We all know that santa is really satan, trying to lure children away from the one that Christmas is really all about:
Jesus Christ.


Jesus spit is holy, and we can only pray that one day, he will have the kindness to spit on us too. Praise!
Spit on us, not spit us out.

Revelation 3:16 So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth.


(My favorite 3:16)

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V
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Old 09-19-2006, 12:20 PM
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Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Did you ever wonder why, in all these three healings, why Jesus spit? Why did He not just heal these three people, as He did all the others, without spittle?

I would be interested in any ideas you might have as to this Holy mystery.
I believe it was a kind of Baptism.

Today we are cleansed by the Blood of the Lamb (Rev. 7:14), but people living in those days didn't have the same opportunity, since the Lamb had not yet been slaughtered. Thus our Lord in His infinite wisdom gave His chosen ones a chance to be baptized in body fluids, other than blood.

Of course, all this doesn't mean that Our Lord didn't take pleasure in spitting those money-grubbing Joos right in their hook-nosed faces.
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Old 09-19-2006, 01:26 PM
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Spit on us, not spit us out.

Revelation 3:16 So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth.

(My favorite 3:16)

YIC
V
Don't you all look at the bible literally? Looked at literally, the above quote implies that Jesus enjoyed the odd spoon of disciple soup here or there.
It seemed Jesus really had a cannibal fetish going there
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Old 09-19-2006, 01:33 PM
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Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
Don't you all look at the bible literally? Looked at literally, the above quote implies that Jesus enjoyed the odd spoon of disciple soup here or there.
It seemed Jesus really had a cannibal fetish going there
Hello... "this is my body"? Remember that one?

Luke 22:19 And he took bread, and gave thanks, and brake it, and gave unto them, saying, This is my body which is given for you: this do in remembrance of me.

Don't forget vampirism.

Luke 22:20 Likewise also the cup after supper, saying, This cup is the new testament in my blood, which is shed for you.

Don't try to surprise us with the bible (kjv1611) we've read it. Just because you suddenly think Jesus is a cannibal, doesn't mean that we (your betters) don't already know what verses deal exactly with that subject.

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Old 09-19-2006, 01:37 PM
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Yes, I know you know the bible well, V.

And aren't things like cannibalism and vampirism oh I don't know.......wrong?
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Old 09-19-2006, 01:44 PM
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Yes, I know you know the bible well, V.

And aren't things like cannibalism and vampirism oh I don't know.......wrong?
Yes, that's why we don't actually do it. If you read Luke 22:19, you would see the word REMEMBRANCE. That makes it symbolic. Unlike those cathylickers who think they are actually eating a chunk of Jesus, and taking a swig of the holy A (get it, a positive... that was funny, I just made a joke). The "last supper" was symbolic. Jesus said do in remembrance... he didn't say "eat me".

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Old 09-19-2006, 01:50 PM
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So then did he just want them to remember him whilst eating or did he want them to be imagining they were eating a chunk of bicep and a drink of arterial blood.....?
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Old 09-19-2006, 02:40 PM
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Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
So then did he just want them to remember him whilst eating or did he want them to be imagining they were eating a chunk of bicep and a drink of arterial blood.....?
When eating the bread, Jesus wants you to think of his body, that is broken for you. You are correct, he doesn't want you to imagine you are eating a chunk of his bicep.

When drinking the wine, Jesus wants you to think of his blood, which was spilled for you. He doesn't want you to think you are taking a swig of arterial blood.

Although the cathylicks have perverted this, through interpretation of the recount of the last supper in John.

John 6:53 Then Jesus said unto them, Verily, verily, I say unto you, Except ye eat the flesh of the Son of man, and drink his blood, ye have no life in you.

54 Whoso eateth my flesh, and drinketh my blood, hath eternal life; and I will raise him up at the last day.

55 For my flesh is meat indeed, and my blood is drink indeed.

56 He that eateth my flesh, and drinketh my blood, dwelleth in me, and I in him.


If you wanted to drink blood and eat real people, these verses might lead you to believe that it's ok... but it's not.

YIC
V
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Old 09-19-2006, 10:50 PM
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If you wanted to drink blood and eat real people, these verses might lead you to believe that it's ok... but it's not.
My point exactly
What's to stop cannibals from saying 'your honor, it's ok, I only did it because I read it in the bible!'

Thankfully, though, I doubt that'd hold up in court.
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Old 09-19-2006, 10:56 PM
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HE can spit on me any old day!

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Old 09-20-2006, 12:04 PM
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Don't you all look at the bible literally? Looked at literally, the above quote implies that Jesus enjoyed the odd spoon of disciple soup here or there.
It seemed Jesus really had a cannibal fetish going there
I never thought of this before, but, if Jesus spues out Episcopalians, Lutherans and the like, does that mean that, for the True Christian elect, he swallows?
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O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Old 09-20-2006, 11:01 PM
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I never thought of this before, but, if Jesus spues out Episcopalians, Lutherans and the like, does that mean that, for the True Christian elect, he swallows?

I can't think of any answer that won't earn a warning point.
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Old 09-23-2006, 10:41 AM
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Typical of the foul-mouthed harlot you are, no doubt your answer was something inapproriately hellbound and sexual.
Instead of making half an effort at wisecracks, why not pick up the bible for yourself and see all the teachings of Jesus firsthand!

For the KJV1611 is the pure, unaltered word of GOD!
So quit fantasising about the demons you fornicate with, pick up a bible, and then maybe you wouldn't need to irritate the good Pastors with your airheaded questions!
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Old 09-23-2006, 12:44 PM
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Typical of the foul-mouthed harlot you are, no doubt your answer was something inapproriately hellbound and sexual.
Instead of making half an effort at wisecracks, why not pick up the bible for yourself and see all the teachings of Jesus firsthand!

For the KJV1611 is the pure, unaltered word of GOD!
So quit fantasising about the demons you fornicate with, pick up a bible, and then maybe you wouldn't need to irritate the good Pastors with your airheaded questions!
PRAISE JESUS! It always gladdens my heart when another Christian bitchslaps a demon. GLORY!! Carry on, Sister Sorrow!
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Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Old 09-23-2006, 01:00 PM
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