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Dear Fellow Christians,
Ideally, President Bush will declare marshal law this year and become president for life. However, after the New Hampshire primary election, I've become very concerned that possibly the USA could wind up with a communist president such as Hillary Clinton. Even if God should strike down The Bitch, we still face the possibility of a nigra Muslim terrorist like Barack Osama becoming president. If that wasn't enough, the leading Republican candidate is that beaner-loving faggot, John McCain.
Given the grave situation we face, I have decided that I must do my patriotic duty and declare my candidacy for president. I feel that I am fully qualified for this office, and I would like to explain my platform below:
1) I am a True Christian. In fact, one of my first acts as president will be to declare Christianity the state religion of the USA. Please note that Catholics and Mormons are NOT Christians, and I will have them deported back to Mexico. Which brings me to my next point...
2) I will seal the border. Not just a fence, but an electrified fence with land mines. English will be declared the national language - it will be illegal to post signs in Spanish, or speak that shit in public.
3) War, war and more war. I intend to kill all the Mudslimes once and for all, and to occupy the Middle East for as long as there is any oil to be found there.
4) No more apologies for water boarding. Let's be clear - it's torture, and the enemies of America had better get used to it.
5) Faggots and abortionists will be arrested and publicly burned at the stake.
6) I will make Canada our 51st state, and send all the cheese-eating Frogs in Quebec back to France.
7) I'm concerned about pedophiles who molest our children. For that reason, I intend to lower the marriage age to 8.
8) Creationism will be taught in public schools, and the wacko "theory" of evolution will be banned.
9) Abolish the IRS, and replace it with the ITS (Internal Tithing Service). All Fortune 500 companies will be tax exempt.
10) I intend to balance the budget by imposing a tax on welfare checks and food stamps. I will eliminate our foreign debt by telling other countries to whom we owe money to go f*ck themselves.
11) I will declare The Rapture a national holiday.
12) About the United Nations - I will get our friend bin Laden to fly a jet airplane into the UN Building in New York, and then we'll blow up the burning wreckage just as we did with the World Trade Center in 2001. All foreign embassies and consulates will be closed, their assets seized, and their staff deported.
13) I promise there will be a new Inquisition. All members of the Democrat Party will be declared "enemy combatants", and after an appropriate period of water boarding, will be "renditioned."
14) I will add George Bush's face to Mount Rushmore. I will also send the space shuttle to the moon to paint his face there so that we will see it every time we look up.
I am open to other suggestions from you, my fellow Christians, and I look forward to your support.
Praise Jesus!
Buford
Ideally, President Bush will declare marshal law this year and become president for life. However, after the New Hampshire primary election, I've become very concerned that possibly the USA could wind up with a communist president such as Hillary Clinton. Even if God should strike down The Bitch, we still face the possibility of a nigra Muslim terrorist like Barack Osama becoming president. If that wasn't enough, the leading Republican candidate is that beaner-loving faggot, John McCain.
Given the grave situation we face, I have decided that I must do my patriotic duty and declare my candidacy for president. I feel that I am fully qualified for this office, and I would like to explain my platform below:
1) I am a True Christian. In fact, one of my first acts as president will be to declare Christianity the state religion of the USA. Please note that Catholics and Mormons are NOT Christians, and I will have them deported back to Mexico. Which brings me to my next point...
2) I will seal the border. Not just a fence, but an electrified fence with land mines. English will be declared the national language - it will be illegal to post signs in Spanish, or speak that shit in public.
3) War, war and more war. I intend to kill all the Mudslimes once and for all, and to occupy the Middle East for as long as there is any oil to be found there.
4) No more apologies for water boarding. Let's be clear - it's torture, and the enemies of America had better get used to it.
5) Faggots and abortionists will be arrested and publicly burned at the stake.
6) I will make Canada our 51st state, and send all the cheese-eating Frogs in Quebec back to France.
7) I'm concerned about pedophiles who molest our children. For that reason, I intend to lower the marriage age to 8.
8) Creationism will be taught in public schools, and the wacko "theory" of evolution will be banned.
9) Abolish the IRS, and replace it with the ITS (Internal Tithing Service). All Fortune 500 companies will be tax exempt.
10) I intend to balance the budget by imposing a tax on welfare checks and food stamps. I will eliminate our foreign debt by telling other countries to whom we owe money to go f*ck themselves.
11) I will declare The Rapture a national holiday.
12) About the United Nations - I will get our friend bin Laden to fly a jet airplane into the UN Building in New York, and then we'll blow up the burning wreckage just as we did with the World Trade Center in 2001. All foreign embassies and consulates will be closed, their assets seized, and their staff deported.
13) I promise there will be a new Inquisition. All members of the Democrat Party will be declared "enemy combatants", and after an appropriate period of water boarding, will be "renditioned."
14) I will add George Bush's face to Mount Rushmore. I will also send the space shuttle to the moon to paint his face there so that we will see it every time we look up.
I am open to other suggestions from you, my fellow Christians, and I look forward to your support.
Praise Jesus!
Buford
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