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  • #1

    How to earn the God's favour for "Electricity"?

    Originally posted by Akimaaz Smith
    You can't understand this because you live in Romania, so you don't have electricity yet.Electricity is the will of God, just like gravity. If the Lord God can make the stars fall from the sky, surely he can make household appliances run without a hitch. What more explanation do we need?
    This quote of wisdom is taken from one of the blessed men and women that found these forums to be their home in faith and it depicts a tragic situation in which I found moyself and my country in. Simply put: my country posseses no electricity because Lord God did not wanted for us to have. He did not want for us to have household appliances or everything else that runs with the "sparky-think" called "electricity".

    So, with no further ado, I ask you, TRUE CHRISTIANS!!, how can my people have electricity?! How long do we have to pray?! Do we have to sacrifice our maidens? Our children? WHAAT?! I WANT TO BE IN HEAVEN JUST LIKE YOU! :cry:

    P.S.: Also our country has just produced our first car! But unfortunately its wheels are made of wood...cut from the forrest!! We're pretty sad though because the wonder named rubber was not revealed to us yet and it runs with horse dung. So again, what do I have to do to travel magnificient roads just like you all have over there, in the most favoursed country by God...AMERICA!

    GLORY TO JESUS AND THE AMERICANS!
    God please forgive me for they know not what they're doing and I can't show it to them.
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  • #2
    Re: How to earn the God's favour for "Electricity"?

    Friend, you have already taken the first step, recognizing the depraved state that your nation it in. Praying without ceasing is a good start.

    However, I have it on good authority that most of the folks in your country are Atheists, Communists, drug addicts, Gypsy fortune tellers, vampires, Olympic gymnasts, Devil worshipers, Eastern Orthodox, and/or werewolves. Is it any wonder your country has been cursed by God?

    You need to spread the Gospel message to others. Convert as many people as you can to True Christianity(tm), and convince them to do the same. Once True Christianity(tm) spreads like a wildfire across your nation, I know that your fate will change.

    SHOUT GLORY!

    Pastor Billy-Reuben
    Upon request I will cite scripture for all these facts in God's Holy Word.

    ✝ This is a Christian community and we worship GOD of the Holy bible, the only Living GOD. We worship Jesus Christ, Son of GOD and Savior. Anything else is absurd. ✝
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    • #3
      Re: How to earn the God's favour for "Electricity"?

      Originally posted by Pastor Billy-Reuben View Post
      However, I have it on good authority that most of the folks in your country are Atheists, Communists, drug addicts, Gypsy fortune tellers, vampires, Olympic gymnasts, Devil worshipers, Eastern Orthodox, and/or werewolves. Is it any wonder your country has been cursed by God?

      You need to spread the Gospel message to others. Convert as many people as you can to True Christianity™, and convince them to do the same. Once True Christianity™ spreads like a wildfire across your nation, I know that your fate will change.
      Either that, or make like Lot and high-tail it out of that depraved gypsy scumpit before the Lord smites it all to...well, it's hard to imagine anything worse than Romania know, but the Lord will find a way somehow. You probably don't stand a chance of making it into a civilised country like the US, but Godless Britain is only too willing to accept all kinds of East European filth, like Polacks and sub-Polacks. You make a refreshing change from the Islamists, I have to admit that.
      O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



      God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

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      • #4
        Re: How to earn the God's favour for "Electricity"?

        Originally posted by SadSightSeer
        So, with no further ado, I ask you, TRUE CHRISTIANS!!, how can my people have electricity?! How long do we have to pray?! Do we have to sacrifice our maidens? Our children? WHAAT?! I WANT TO BE IN HEAVEN JUST LIKE YOU! :cry:
        What makes you think that electricity would be a favor?

        According to this website, all you have to sacrifice is your self-respect, your sanity, your health, and your God-assigned dominant role in the bedroom!

        Now, I may be a mere female, but I can certainly see well-researched science when I see it. Just look at this study of hair loss in men who wear (electricity-conducting) glasses! The author's scientific method has no flaw whatsoever, surely he is correct!

        I only hope we in the electricity-addicted developed world can find a way to protect ourselves from this horrible menace!
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        • #5
          Re: How to earn the God's favour for "Electricity"?

          Originally posted by JennyD View Post
          What makes you think that electricity would be a favor?

          According to this website, all you have to sacrifice is your self-respect, your sanity, your health, and your God-assigned dominant role in the bedroom!

          Now, I may be a mere female, but I can certainly see well-researched science when I see it. Just look at this study of hair loss in men who wear (electricity-conducting) glasses! The author's scientific method has no flaw whatsoever, surely he is correct!

          I only hope we in the electricity-addicted developed world can find a way to protect ourselves from this horrible menace!
          Oh my Saviour! This means that in Romania (and few other Stone Age countries that don't posses electricity) men still have their self-respect, sanity, health and their God-assigned dominant role in the bedroom like it happens in the USA now. I pity you righteous American Christians for your depraved ways under the "sparkle-thing"! Long live fornicating under the black cover of the night!

          PRAISE THE LORD FOR CANDLES MADE BY OUR DEAD PEOPLE FAT!
          God please forgive me for they know not what they're doing and I can't show it to them.

          Comment

          • #6
            Re: How to earn the God's favour for "Electricity"?

            I'm not surre if you'll accept advice from a woman such as myself, but PRAISE GOD!

            Or, move to Godly USA!
            Repent, or be tortured in nasty ways with sharp, pointy things!

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            • #7
              Re: How to earn the God's favour for "Electricity"?

              I hope you all realise he is joking.

              Comment

              • #8
                Re: How to earn the God's favour for "Electricity"?

                Originally posted by Sacha-DG View Post
                I hope you all realise he is joking.
                What makes you say that? He seems perfectly sincere to me.
                Who Will Jesus Damn?

                Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

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                • #9
                  Re: How to earn the God's favour for "Electricity"?

                  lol, you guys believe in werewolfs and Vampires?

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Re: How to earn the God's favour for "Electricity"?

                    Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                    What makes you say that? He seems perfectly sincere to me.
                    Romania, has electricity, cars, and exports plenty of fossil fuels. Their GDP per capita is $11,100. Only 25% of their population lives below the poverty line, and if they have no electricity, would you care to explain how he is gaining access to the internet?

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Re: How to earn the God's favour for "Electricity"?

                      Originally posted by Sacha-DG View Post
                      Romania, has electricity, cars, and exports plenty of fossil fuels. Their GDP per capita is $11,100. Only 25% of their population lives below the poverty line, and if they have no electricity, would you care to explain how he is gaining access to the internet?
                      He might have a gerbil running some sort of treadmill to generate power? I really have no idea, but I certainly do not go around accusing people of being less than sincere without any proof. Being a Man of God, I take people at their word.

                      Why are you atheists so full of hate all the time?
                      Who Will Jesus Damn?

                      Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                      Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                      Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        Re: How to earn the God's favour for "Electricity"?

                        Originally posted by Sacha-DG View Post
                        Romania, has electricity, cars, and exports plenty of fossil fuels. Their GDP per capita is $11,100. Only 25% of their population lives below the poverty line, and if they have no electricity, would you care to explain how he is gaining access to the internet?
                        Sacha-DG, please don't come here and shatter to pieces anything that these people believe in. You are a cruel person if you want that. America is the blessed land, the Bible is God's word and that's that. The rest can (and will) go to hell.

                        AMEN
                        God please forgive me for they know not what they're doing and I can't show it to them.

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          Re: How to earn the God's favour for "Electricity"?

                          Also, a great personality like Akimaaz Smith who is a - I quote - "Pastor Deacon Fred Hall, Landover Christian University School of Law, Freehold, Iowa, God's Country", a TRUE CHRISTIAN doing the will of GOD HIMSELF afirmed that so you, who are an "unsaved trash" (as your forum rank mentions it), can't have anything to say against him.

                          AMEN
                          God please forgive me for they know not what they're doing and I can't show it to them.

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            Re: How to earn the God's favour for "Electricity"?

                            Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                            He might have a gerbil running some sort of treadmill to generate power? I really have no idea, but I certainly do not go around accusing people of being less than sincere without any proof. Being a Man of God, I take people at their word.

                            Why are you atheists so full of hate all the time?
                            You didn't even read what I said did you?
                            Romania has huge supplies of fossil fuels.
                            Fossil fuels are used to generate electricity.
                            Why would he need a hamster of any kind when they have plenty of power stations?
                            I could tell that I am in fact God. You cannt prove that I am not. Would you therefore believe that I am not?
                            Open your eyes.

                            Comment

                            • #15
                              Re: How to earn the God's favour for "Electricity"?

                              Originally posted by Sacha-DG View Post
                              Romania has huge supplies of fossil fuels.
                              Fossil fuels are used to generate electricity.
                              I unveiled you, fiend!!!! Did you do diggings in the barren deserts of Romania to see if there are any said "fossil fuels"?! I bet you did them at night as you allied yourself with the vampires and werewolves. For sure a pact with Satan, sealed with your blood! There for you are one of those poor souls called "Geologists" that will burn in hell for all the eternity!!

                              Or you are one of those naive people that believe in their lies and demonic conspiracies!

                              Here is what one of the great personalities on this forums and the entire True Christianity says about your foul kin!

                              Geologists

                              Even before Darwin, it was geologists who began to claim that the Earth is older than 6004 years. And modern geology stubbornly refuses to yield up its hidden proof of a universal flood, or the recent and coeval existence of all creatures, living and extinct.

                              For more truth, read this: http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=4474

                              Sacha-DG, I here by proclaim you a sinner! Repent and see the truth in my words...

                              Also, my friend into suffering, you have to understand that in this place you must leave all your logic behind and substitute True Christianity's special way of...seeing things.
                              God please forgive me for they know not what they're doing and I can't show it to them.

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