Surfers: spawn of Satan

[Wide-Open]

Friends, while watching TV in my shelter, I saw a program about surfing. Not the internet kind, but the stuff with waves & all.

It was highly disturbing. Scarsely clad harlots, men with big bulges in their wetsuits, riding the waves and doing all kinds of unspeakable social things. It almost made me want to throw up.

I even noticed diaper people standing on a surfboard.

I can't find it in the KJV yet, but surely this is an abomination? Can the Pastors put me straight on this?

[Pastor Billy-Reuben]

Re: Surfers: spawn of Satan

Surfers are all Neptune worshipers who are too lazy to find jobs, so they sit on the beach, smoke pot, and have homosexual sex in the ocean.

They need to get off the drugs, cut their hair, find jobs, and start going to church.

Pastor Billy-Reuben

[Talitha]

Re: Surfers: spawn of Satan

Yes!!! Yet another Abomination.

I have nightmares even today about that Hasellhoff queer prancing around in nothing more than skimpy (S)Pedo's in that Gaywatch TV program!

I may have to go and lie down after seeing this picture once again.

[Wide-Open]

Re: Surfers: spawn of Satan

Thank you Pastor for confirming what I already suspected.

I never knew dykes could also surf the waves. This does not look good at all.

Psalm 93:4
The LORD on high is mightier than the noise of many waters, yea, than the mighty waves of the sea.

[Old Man Hatchet]

Re: Surfers: spawn of Satan

This "sport" essentially involves balancing one's self on a board, and in this sense is very much on par with gymnastics.



Quite frankly, I am surprised there are not more eight-year-old girls in leotards attemtping to "ride the waves."

It is quite obvious that surfing is a homosexual activity. The boards that surfers use are often brightly colored--pink is not at all uncommon--and are conspicuously phallic.



The gay men that call themselves surfers basically straddle giant penises, swim out into the ocean, and attempt to stand up as the waves carry them in. You are undoubtedly thinking that not only are surfers gay, they must be retarded as well to engage in such a mindless and pointless activity. You are probably right.

[Old Man Hatchet]

Re: Surfers: spawn of Satan

Surfers are all Neptune worshipers who are too lazy to find jobs, so they sit on the beach, smoke pot, and have homosexual sex in the ocean.

They need to get off the drugs, cut their hair, find jobs, and start going to church.

Pastor Billy-Reuben

Indeed, Pastor. Surfer culture is worse than surfing itself. It consists of getting high, engaging in homosexual orgies, and begging for change from passers-by. Surfers are essentially beach hippies, but whereas hippies will have sex with anyone or anything, surfers are almost exclusively homosexual. This "culture" is popular in degenerate states like California and Hawaii. We must be vigilant, lest it spread to the rest of our Godly country. We need to squelch this queer water pastime before it destroys America.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Surfers: spawn of Satan

Indeed, Pastor. Surfer culture is worse than surfing itself. It consists of getting high, engaging in homosexual orgies, and begging for change from passers-by. Surfers are essentially beach hippies, but whereas hippies will have sex with anyone or anything, surfers are almost exclusively homosexual.

Almost, but not exclusively. There are still a few heterosexual surfers.

[Old Man Hatchet]

Re: Surfers: spawn of Satan

Almost, but not exclusively. There are still a few heterosexual surfers.

Perverted beasts! All surfers need to be rounded up and castrated so that they are no longer a threat to decent society.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Surfers: spawn of Satan

Perverted beasts! All surfers need to be rounded up and castrated so that they are no longer a threat to decent society.

Would it be possible to modify surfboards to do this? Fit them with sensors so that at a certain point, giant "nutcracker" arms would spring out of the surfboard and snap shut at the correct height above it?

[Brother McGregor]

Re: Surfers: spawn of Satan

Perhaps our Lord sent this dark monster to defend His oceans?

[Roberta]

Re: Surfers: spawn of Satan

Pastor Zeke does not like the songs I post but here's another:

Little surfer little one
Made my heart come all undone
Do you love me, do you surfer girl
Surfer girl my little surfer girl

I have watched you on the shore
Standing by the ocean's roar
Do you love me do you surfer girl
Surfer girl surfer girl

We could ride the surf together
While our love would grow
In my Woody I would take you everywhere I go
So I say from me to you
I will make your dreams come true
Do you love me do you surfer girl
Surfer girl my little surfer girl

Girl surfer girl my little surfer girl

Girl surfer girl my little surfer girl

Girl surfer girl my little surfer girl

Surfers are no different than skiers. It's just sport. Ride the crest, bounce the moguls--just because you cannnot do it in Iowa doesn't make it evil.

We do not have John Deere pulls in VT but you folks find them entertaining. The last thing I'd want to do on a Friday night is watch some hayseed drive his tractor.

[Nobar King]

Re: Surfers: spawn of Satan

Just don't go to http://gaysurfreport.com/


I warned you.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Surfers: spawn of Satan

Pastor Zeke does not like the songs I post but here's another:



We could ride the surf together
While our love would grow
In my Woody I would take you everywhere I go
So I say from me to you
I will make your dreams come true
Do you love me do you surfer girl
Surfer girl my little surfer girl

That song is obviously a euphamism for committing whoredoms. Expect infraction points if you keep posting such filth on our Godly forum.


These surfer scum are depraved and unGodly. This one is a Peruvian witch surfing with it's "familiar." Is there a link between these surfers and the Harry Potter scum? The DOF is investigating.

[Kerby316]

Re: Surfers: spawn of Satan

Um...Surfers don't worship Neptune or whatever....It's a sport. Thats all it is. It's not a religion. And I too, and a surfer. and I'm not gay, I don't smoke pot....And I certainly dont worship some god from mythology. But I guess in these cases....The ones in california...need to die. They are all hippies, and lets face it. No one like hippies.

[Talitha]

Re: Surfers: spawn of Satan

What's all this about??



Do these male Surfers really want to have MOOBIES???




DISGUSTED SISTER TALITHA.