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  • Mary Etheldreda
    Gushing for Jesus
     
    • Sep 2011
    • 23765

    #1

    Ladies, Don't Ruin Your Marriage By Getting Ugly With Age!

    Ladies, you know when Satan is after someone, he must be doing something right.



    Well Pat Robertson is in the news again, and the liberals are having a field day. Why? Because they hate anything that celebrates tradition, morals, and decency. Instead they want to celebrate shocking people, sociopathic values, and hatefulness. So when Reverend Robertson gives marriage advice, liberals take notice. They hate the sanctity of marriage and desire only for there to be wanton sexual perversion.

    So, a 17-year-old boy writes in to Maxim magazine, complaining that his father never pays any attention to his mother.

    “I’m 17 years old and I’ve noticed that there has been a change in my father’s behavior,” he wrote. “He spends too much time at the computer playing a war game. I’ve noticed how alone my mom feels. I just want my father to spend more time with my mom. What should I do? How can I talk to my father? I feel shame for him. Please help.”

    Reverend Robertson starts off with the suggestion that the boy try to get his parents out of the house on some type of romantic weekend getaway:

    “The romance is obviously going out of the marriage,” he said.



    Ladies, before we go any further, can you guess why the romance is going out of the marriage?

    That's right, the wife has become intolerable. What happened to the sweet gal this man married? She got an earful of the liberal agenda and started applying it to her marriage, is my guess.

    “You know, it may be your mom isn’t as sweet as you think she is, she may be kind of hard-nosed. And so, you say it’s my father, he’s not paying attention to mom, but you know mom…”

    Ladies, this is exactly what a 17 year old young True Christian™ man needs to hear. He needs to know that sweet gal he decides to start a family with will be tempted by the world's treasures, rather than storing up treasures in heaven (Matthew 6:19-20). It will be his duty to keep his wife on the straight and narrow path (Ephesians 5:22-24). This young man is hearing wise counsel indeed!

    Rev. Robertson launches into another story: “A woman came to a preacher I know—it’s so funny. She was awful looking. Her hair was all torn up, she was overweight, and looked terrible. And she said, ‘Oh, Reverend, what can I do? My husband has started to drink.’”

    “And the preacher looked at her and he said, ‘Madam, if I were married to you, I’d start to drink too.’”



    I know, it's a cute story, but there is a grain of truth in that. Well, maybe bigger than a grain.

    Ladies, lest we forget in the years of tending the immediate needs of dozen or more young children, our husbands have “needs” too.

    Friends, if we love the LORD, we will keep His commands (John 14:15), and we will not be a source of temptation for another (1 Corinthians 8:13; Romans 14:13; Luke 17:1-4).


    Last edited by Pim Pendergast; 12-09-2013, 11:19 AM. Reason: Original video no longer available
    Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

  • Felicity
    As pure and virginal as the driven snow.
    True Christian™
    • Apr 2010
    • 4834

    #2
    Re: Ladies, Don't Ruin Your Marriage By Getting Ugly With Age!

    I hope Jesus kills me before I get ugly.
    I Jesus!

    Comment

    • Betty Sue
      Unsaved trash, confirmed retard
      • Dec 2012
      • 67

      #3
      Re: Ladies, Don't Ruin Your Marriage By Getting Ugly With Age!

      I promisse not to! I WILL KEEp myslf as pretty as i am now !
      For if the woman be not covered, let her also be shorn: but if it be a shame for a woman to be shorn or shaven, let her be covered. (1 Corinthians 11:6)

      Comment

      • Kitchen Keepin
        Forum Member
        Forum Member
        • Apr 2012
        • 137

        #4
        Re: Ladies, Don't Ruin Your Marriage By Getting Ugly With Age!

        I spend my day making the house and myself look pretty for when Mr. Keeper gets home each evening!!

        What else is there, really?
        Are you Washed in the Blood of the Lamb?

        Comment

        • Mary Magdalene
          Forum Member
          Forum Member
          • Jan 2013
          • 34

          #5
          Re: Ladies, Don't Ruin Your Marriage By Getting Ugly With Age!

          Great Thread! Wonderfull advice!

          I really belive these words and i've been follow this moto, since the firt day off my marriage.

          I would like to ask somethin though...is it a sin to shave my body? My husband want's, so i do, but i'm afraid that God may be angry.. after all he gave us that fur, probably for something.. and i dont have de courage to ask the pastor of my church...
          Ephesians 5:22–24 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

          Comment

          • Brother Helge
            True Christian™
            True Christian™
            • Jan 2010
            • 1074

            #6
            Re: Ladies, Don't Ruin Your Marriage By Getting Ugly With Age!

            Originally posted by Mary Magdalene View Post
            Great Thread! Wonderfull advice!

            I really belive these words and i've been follow this moto, since the firt day off my marriage.

            I would like to ask somethin though...is it a sin to shave my body? My husband want's, so i do, but i'm afraid that God may be angry.. after all he gave us that fur, probably for something.. and i dont have de courage to ask the pastor of my church...
            Use the search function.
            Your question is being answered here;
            For the women of Landover to discuss recipes, shoes, makeup tips, or whatever it is you natter about. Ensure you have the proper permission from your husband or father before posting.
            "And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free."
            John 8:32

            Comment

            • Mary Magdalene
              Forum Member
              Forum Member
              • Jan 2013
              • 34

              #7
              Re: Ladies, Don't Ruin Your Marriage By Getting Ugly With Age!

              Thank you dear sir. I'll read that.

              God Bless you
              Ephesians 5:22–24 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

              Comment

              • Kitchen Keepin
                Forum Member
                Forum Member
                • Apr 2012
                • 137

                #8
                Re: Ladies, Don't Ruin Your Marriage By Getting Ugly With Age!

                That is your husband's choice, not yours. Your limbs belong to him.

                Mr. Keeper likes me very smooth and hairless, but should your husband prefer the lesbo hippie herbal tree-hugger look, well, to each his own.
                Are you Washed in the Blood of the Lamb?

                Comment

                • Mary Etheldreda
                  Gushing for Jesus
                   
                  • Sep 2011
                  • 23765

                  #9
                  Re: Ladies, Don't Ruin Your Marriage By Getting Ugly With Age!

                  Originally posted by Kitchen Keepin View Post
                  That is your husband's choice, not yours. Your limbs belong to him.
                  Your posts are a good reminder of the ideal True Christian™ woman we all strive to be, and a fitting reminder of how a lady can keep the affection of her husband by not "letting herself go."

                  The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness,
                  not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;
                  That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,
                  To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands,
                  that the word of God be not blasphemed.
                  Titus 2:3-5
                  Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

                  Comment

                  • Kitchen Keepin
                    Forum Member
                    Forum Member
                    • Apr 2012
                    • 137

                    #10
                    Re: Ladies, Don't Ruin Your Marriage By Getting Ugly With Age!

                    Here I am making sure my hair is clean and styled before Mr. Keeper gets home. A wife must ALWAYS multi-task, so I am cooking Mr. Keeper's dinner while the bonnet dries my hair. Who has time to stand in the mirror with a hair dryer? Only a vain jezebel wastes valuable housekeeping time attending her hygiene.

                    I always make sure this contraption is put away before Mr. Keeper gets home. He needn't be exposed to fripperies.

                    Are you Washed in the Blood of the Lamb?

                    Comment

                    • Mrs. Isaac Peters
                      Forum Member
                      Forum Member
                      • Dec 2012
                      • 25

                      #11
                      Re: Ladies, Don't Ruin Your Marriage By Getting Ugly With Age!

                      I work at keeping my girlish figure and maintaining my sweet and pleasant personality to keep the romance in my marriage. It's nice to have my husband listen to my suggestions when he exercises his authority as head of the household. Also, when he gets back from his hunting trips with the boys, he always gets me the most adorable presents .
                      1 Cor. 11:8-9: For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man. Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.

                      Comment

                      • Brother Helge
                        True Christian™
                        True Christian™
                        • Jan 2010
                        • 1074

                        #12
                        Re: Ladies, Don't Ruin Your Marriage By Getting Ugly With Age!

                        Originally posted by Mrs. Isaac Peters View Post
                        It's nice to have my husband listen to my suggestions when...
                        Why do you trouble your husband with your incoherent babble?
                        I sincerely don't think he is interested in your "suggestions".
                        Don't you understand that Mr Peters already knows what you need and will give you what you deserve when he see fit?
                        "And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free."
                        John 8:32

                        Comment

                        • Faith_Machine
                          Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
                          True Christian™
                          • Mar 2011
                          • 10049

                          #13
                          Re: Ladies, Don't Ruin Your Marriage By Getting Ugly With Age!

                          Originally posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
                          Ladies, before we go any further, can you guess why the romance is going out of the marriage?

                          That's right, the wife has become intolerable. What happened to the sweet gal this man married? She got an earful of the liberal agenda and started applying it to her marriage, is my guess.
                          I was thinking maybe the husband might have turned gay, but I suppose that just begs the question, doesn't it? Something or someone turned him gay, and the prime suspect is probably the harpy sleeping next to him!
                          WARNING:
                          In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
                          REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

                          Comment

                          • BelieverInGod
                            Fourm Member
                            Forum Member
                            • Feb 2010
                            • 9269

                            #14
                            Re: Ladies, Don't Ruin Your Marriage By Getting Ugly With Age!

                            My first question is what kind of mother lets her 17-year-old read "Maxim"?

                            But Pastor Roberts is right, we must do our best to please our husbands, no matter what it takes. God forbid, our husbands take to "pleasuring themselves" over using us for their urges. That would be disgusting.
                            Drama queen

                            Comment

                            • Kitchen Keepin
                              Forum Member
                              Forum Member
                              • Apr 2012
                              • 137

                              #15
                              Re: Ladies, Don't Ruin Your Marriage By Getting Ugly With Age!

                              Now that the dishes are done, I think I'll slip this onto the Hi Fi and hope Mr. Keeper enjoys!

                              Are you Washed in the Blood of the Lamb?

                              Comment

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