[Wide-Open]

Re: How to Perform an EMERGENCY Baptism!

Well don't forget Brother Wide, Jesus did spit.

Thank you Pastor, that pretty much nails it for me. I see Brother Prune had already suggested it was an early form of Baptism. Glory!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: How to Perform an EMERGENCY Baptism!

I always wondered if we are allowed to use spit in an emergency situation. I'm pretty good at long distance spitting, and the saliva is always available in abundance.

The only downside I see is that the subject would be unclean until the evening and may need some dry-cleaning.

Leviticus 15:8
And if he that hath the issue spit upon him that is clean; then he shall wash his clothes, and bathe himself in water, and be unclean until the even.

Well don't forget Brother Wide, Jesus did spit.

[Wide-Open]

Re: How to Perform an EMERGENCY Baptism!

I always wondered if we are allowed to use spit in an emergency situation. I'm pretty good at long distance spitting, and the saliva is always available in abundance.

The only downside I see is that the subject would be unclean until the evening and may need some dry-cleaning.

Leviticus 15:8
And if he that hath the issue spit upon him that is clean; then he shall wash his clothes, and bathe himself in water, and be unclean until the even.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: How to Perform an EMERGENCY Baptism!

Praise Jesus!!

[Ahimaaz Smith]

Re: How to Perform an EMERGENCY Baptism!

For the really big Baptism jobs, sometimes we need to call in a little assistance from our friend Jesus:

[Talitha]

Re: How to Perform an EMERGENCY Baptism!

A visitor to Freehold checking out one of our Ex-Nigra Emergency Baptism Booths.
1392994356_08e1d1e0a4.jpg

[Brother Guy Bayard]

Re: How to Perform an EMERGENCY Baptism!

When converting entire villages/towns of heathen, I recommend these indispensable aids,

[Wide-Open]

Re: How to Perform an EMERGENCY Baptism!

I have to admit I had quite a few baptisms go wrong over here, which may explain my poor record.

Two months ago we tried this method:

[ATTACH]5909[/ATTACH]

Alas, we never found the poor converted old lady ever again.

[Talitha]

Re: How to Perform an EMERGENCY Baptism!

You know, this puts me of a mind to recall those golden summer days when I was a boy growing up in Freehold. The other pastor's sons and I would lay in wait at the edge of Picaninnie Bridge for unsuspecting negroes, grab them, and toss them into Dirty Injun River, shouting "Do you renounce satan, boy?" And then we'd laugh and laugh, feeling like we were little soldiers for Christ.


There really wasn't enough water in there to Baptize anyone properly, so the coons would land with quite a splat.....Ah memories.

Oh, such happy days eh Pastor?

I remember going out with Petal to collect wayward kitties so we could put them in a sack. We'd then throw the sack down the Well or in the river and practice our Baptizing.

Some of the little Critters even stayed alive after the Stoning.

I'm sure Jesus had a good ol' Belly-laugh watching us.

Happy days

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: How to Perform an EMERGENCY Baptism!

You know, this puts me of a mind to recall those golden summer days when I was a boy growing up in Freehold. The other pastor's sons and I would lay in wait at the edge of Picaninnie Bridge for unsuspecting negroes, grab them, and toss them into Dirty Injun River, shouting "Do you renounce satan, boy?" And then we'd laugh and laugh, feeling like we were little soldiers for Christ.


There really wasn't enough water in there to Baptize anyone properly, so the coons would land with quite a splat.....Ah memories.

[Nobar King]

Re: How to Perform an EMERGENCY Baptism!

This would be good if you were into a more gentle group baptism:

Writer
Russ
Marietta, GA
More capacity for fewer stops.


I find this sprayer much easier to use than the little hand held sprayers. My arm always gets worn out carrying them around. I wish that it had wider and/or padded straps. The 5 gallon is HEAVY when full and these straps don't make it a bit easier. 5 gallon capacity means 40% fewer stops to refill than the 3 gallon. (Somebody check my math.)
--Russ

[Talitha]

Re: How to Perform an EMERGENCY Baptism!

Do you mean one of these handy little stoning buckets that Momma G had us make?

I just love mine!

http://landoverbaptist.net/showthrea...ghlight=bucket

The very thing Sis.
Here's mine:
burberry.jpg
It's one of the reasons that God gave Women 2 arms.

The other reason of course is for Cooking and Cleaning

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: How to Perform an EMERGENCY Baptism!

Did I mention the "other" Bags?

Do you mean one of these handy little stoning buckets that Momma G had us make?

I just love mine!

http://landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=12790&highlight=bucket

[Talitha]

Re: How to Perform an EMERGENCY Baptism!

I do think a preliminary stoning would be warranted, just to get them to the repentant stage.

Did I mention the "other" Bags?

[Glendora Christianson]

Re: How to Perform an EMERGENCY Baptism!

Godly advice Mamma Glendie.
Folks always ask me why I carry around so many bags when I'm out walking.
Thing is, YOU NEVER KNOW.

In one of my bags I always carry my "Supersoaker".
This baby can Baptize a whole hoard of willing Volunteers angry Atheists in one hit.

[ATTACH]5900[/ATTACH]

I do think a preliminary stoning would be warranted, just to get them to the repentant stage.