Fight the Heathen!!

[SalvationSeeker]

Re: Fight the Heathen!!

I have come to find that Landover Baptist Church is just another Christian cult similar to the UPC. Anyway, I want people who care about me not people that damn me to hell for looking at them the wrong way. Check out Ransomed Heart Ministries. It's good so far from what I've seen.

For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine;
But after their own lusts shall they heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears;
And they shall turn away their ears from the truth, and shall be turned unto fables.
2 Timothy 4:3-4

Am I therefore become your enemy, because I tell you the truth?
Galatians 14:6

[Silent Shadow]

Re: Fight the Heathen!!

I have come to find that Landover Baptist Church is just another Christian cult similar to the UPC. Anyway, I want people who care about me not people that damn me to hell for looking at them the wrong way. Check out Ransomed Heart Ministries. It's good so far from what I've seen.

The link above is broken. Try Ransomed Heart

[Silent Shadow]

Re: Fight the Heathen!!

I have come to find that Landover Baptist Church is just another Christian cult similar to the UPC. Anyway, I want people who care about me not people that damn me to hell for looking at them the wrong way. Check out Ransomed Heart Ministries. It's good so far from what I've seen.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Fight the Heathen!!

Well now ain't this special? TWO HEATHEN ABOMINATIONS get together and begin their attack on LBC and me, the Lord's EVANGELIST. Funny, funny, funny! I'll tell you what's so funny and that is that a WITCH and HOMERSEXUAL FAIRY BOY have gotten together in bed with each other to consort! Yet, one MORE SIN they can BOTH add to their MANY SINS!!

As sweet as Twink boy is, I'm married and he plays for the other team, so I don't think we'll be getting in bed together anytime soon.

Van Hell-Singer thank your demon that this isn't the old days because if it still were you'd already be tied up to a stake and set on fire for being a HEATHN WITCH!!

Just as well for me it isn't the old days then, huh?

Twinkie Boy thank you demon that miles and miles physically away from me or I'd already have you in the wood shed beating the UNHOLY TAR out of you!

I do hope you've never beaten poor Twink as a child.

BOTH of you have got RESERVED TICKETS on that old HELL TRAIN! You both MOCK the LORD! You are both ANTICHRISTS incarnate! And you both ARE just the kind of SINNERS that I was speaking of in this SERMON given to me by the HOLY GHOST!!

Well, the hell train sounds better than the hell greyhound anyway. I've no doubt the hell greyhound would probably lose my luggage.

Pastor Ezekiel, thank you for pointing out to these two HELL DOGS that I have JESUS in me because I DO. And Jesus does, in fact, give me strength and perseverance ESPECIALLY when I have to deal with two HEATHEN ABOMINATIONS such as Hell-Singer and Twinkie Winkie Boy!

I see. And just how much does a baggie of 'jesus' cost you these days, Mr Love?

PRAISE THE LORD!!

REPENT HELLSINGER AND TWINKIE BOY!!

TURN OR BURN YOU HEATHENS!!

Nah. Won't be doing that. But thanks for your.....uhhh...concern.

[Brother Love]

Re: Fight the Heathen!!

Oh my. Is that not a strain on your Aunt Ethel? (I think that was her name, yeah?) I mean, if he's like that ALL the time.....
Wow.....I imagine the only time you'd get any peace is when he's meeting up with 'Deacon Jack Daniels', huh?


Maybe some more time with Deacon Daniels might be in order? Might that not slow him down for a little bit?


Hmm. So 'jesus' is the new street name for what comes in little plastic baggies these days, is it?

Well now ain't this special? TWO HEATHEN ABOMINATIONS get together and begin their attack on LBC and me, the Lord's EVANGELIST. Funny, funny, funny! I'll tell you what's so funny and that is that a WITCH and HOMERSEXUAL FAIRY BOY have gotten together in bed with each other to consort! Yet, one MORE SIN they can BOTH add to their MANY SINS!!

Van Hell-Singer thank your demon that this isn't the old days because if it still were you'd already be tied up to a stake and set on fire for being a HEATHN WITCH!!

Twinkie Boy thank you demon that miles and miles physically away from me or I'd already have you in the wood shed beating the UNHOLY TAR out of you!

BOTH of you have got RESERVED TICKETS on that old HELL TRAIN! You both MOCK the LORD! You are both ANTICHRISTS incarnate! And you both ARE just the kind of SINNERS that I was speaking of in this SERMON given to me by the HOLY GHOST!!

Pastor Ezekiel, thank you for pointing out to these two HELL DOGS that I have JESUS in me because I DO. And Jesus does, in fact, give me strength and perseverance ESPECIALLY when I have to deal with two HEATHEN ABOMINATIONS such as Hell-Singer and Twinkie Winkie Boy!

Sister Mary Maria thank you my lady for your kind words and the HEATHEN would do well to listen to the HOLY GHOST speaking through me and ALL the GODLY PASTORS here at LBC.

PRAISE THE LORD!!

REPENT HELLSINGER AND TWINKIE BOY!!

TURN OR BURN YOU HEATHENS!!

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Fight the Heathen!!

Thanks Rachael and you're a Sweetie, love!!

My uncle...Hiram Love...evangelist extrodinaire!...is he always like this you ask? You know Rachael he's like watching a TELEVANGELIST TV show that is..ALWAYS ON!! Well, love, he never has lost his breath or fainted during a sermon BUT I suspect that is coming due to his...snicker, snicker...ADVANCING age...

Oh my. Is that not a strain on your Aunt Ethel? (I think that was her name, yeah?) I mean, if he's like that ALL the time.....
Wow.....I imagine the only time you'd get any peace is when he's meeting up with 'Deacon Jack Daniels', huh?

PS-I MIGHT praise "Jesus" when He finds the OFF SWITCH to Love's constant ON televangelism. You know...it's really like being with that lunatic nutt case Pat Robertson 24/7. Now excuse me while I go puke.

Maybe some more time with Deacon Daniels might be in order? Might that not slow him down for a little bit?

I can answer that Ms. VanKnucklehead; its because Brother Love has JESUS on his side. Jesus Christ, our Lord and Saviour© who died (for a few days) on the cross and washed away our sins. JESUS gives Brother Love his strength and perseverance. GLORY!! SHOUT GLORY!!!!

Hmm. So 'jesus' is the new street name for what comes in little plastic baggies these days, is it?

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: Fight the Heathen!!

As always, Brother Love is a voice of reason around here and it would do the sinners well to listen to him preach the Word.

[Rev. Dr. Davidson]

Re: Fight the Heathen!!

I do believe that brother love has something there...

Behold, the day of the LORD cometh, cruel both with wrath and fierce anger, to lay the land desolate: and he shall destroy the sinners thereof out of it. (Isaiah 13:9)

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Fight the Heathen!!

Awww, thanks Twink.

You know your uncle....is he always like this? Like all the time? How come he's never lost his breath and fainted during a sermon?

I can answer that Ms. VanKnucklehead; its because Brother Love has JESUS on his side. Jesus Christ, our Lord and Saviour© who died (for a few days) on the cross and washed away our sins. JESUS gives Brother Love his strength and perseverance. GLORY!! SHOUT GLORY!!!!

[TwinkBoy]

Re: Fight the Heathen!!

Thanks Rachael and you're a Sweetie, love!!

My uncle...Hiram Love...evangelist extrodinaire!...is he always like this you ask? You know Rachael he's like watching a TELEVANGELIST TV show that is..ALWAYS ON!! Well, love, he never has lost his breath or fainted during a sermon BUT I suspect that is coming due to his...snicker, snicker...ADVANCING age...

Chow,
Twink

PS-I MIGHT praise "Jesus" when He finds the OFF SWITCH to Love's constant ON televangelism. You know...it's really like being with that lunatic nutt case Pat Robertson 24/7. Now excuse me while I go puke.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Fight the Heathen!!

Awww, thanks Twink.

You know your uncle....is he always like this? Like all the time? How come he's never lost his breath and fainted during a sermon?

[TwinkBoy]

Re: Fight the Heathen!!

Prepare for war? Where...where?? I certainly hope Brother Love does not have any weapons of any kind because...it appears, loves....he's gone a bit off the DEEP END.

As for Rachael being a "troll"...I mean...really, loves...she's NOT! Actually, she's a very kind and wise woman!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Fight the Heathen!!

Sheesh. Not all of us heathens are spamming trolls, you know.

Quite true. Heathens include a wide variety of trolls; sodomite trolls, feminazi trolls, mudslime trolls,....the list goes on and on. Ms. VanSnotty occupies several catagories of troll.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Fight the Heathen!!

Sheesh. Not all of us heathens are spamming trolls, you know.

[Brother Love]

I've noticed in the past couple of days that the GODLY PEOPLE of Landover Baptist (God's ONLY True Christian Church@) have been under ATTACK by hordes of SINNERS coming onto the forum and posting their VILE FILTH and ABOMINAL LIES AND FALSE DOCTRINES. It's all been kind of like ATTILLA THE HUN and his HEATHEN GOLDEN HORDES storming through the gates! As TRUE CHRISTIANS@ we are GOD WARRIORS and in the following passages from the Holy Bible KJV1611 the Lord is calling on we who are His TRUE CHRISTIAN SOLDIERS@ to stand against these HEATHENS and FIGHT for the GLORY of the Lord Jesus Christ. Don't let these HEATHEN SODOMITES get you down and DON'T let them diminish your faith brothers and sisters!!

9 Proclaim ye this among the Gentiles; Prepare war, wake up the mighty men, let all the men of war draw near; let them come up: 10 Beat your plowshares into swords, and your pruninghooks into spears: let the weak say, I am strong. 11 Assemble yourselves, and come, all ye heathen, and gather yourselves together round about: thither cause thy mighty ones to come down, O LORD. 12 Let the heathen be wakened, and come up to the valley of Jehoshaphat: for there will I sit to judge all the heathen round about. 13 Put ye in the sickle, for the harvest is ripe: come, get you down; for the press is full, the fats overflow; for their wickedness is great. 14 Multitudes, multitudes in the valley of decision: for the day of the LORD is near in the valley of decision. 15 The sun and the moon shall be darkened, and the stars shall withdraw their shining. 16 The LORD also shall roar out of Zion, and utter his voice from Jerusalem; and the heavens and the earth shall shake: but the LORD will be the hope of his people, and the strength of the children of Israel. 17 So shall ye know that I am the LORD your God dwelling in Zion, my holy mountain: then shall Jerusalem be holy, and there shall no strangers pass through her any more.
Joel 3:9-17

The RAPTURE is NEAR! God's KILLING TIME is just around the corner!

PRAISE THE LORD!!