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  • TC Patriot
    AMERICA - LOVE IT OR LEAVE IT!!!
    True Christian™
    • Oct 2008
    • 1060
    #1

    Teaching HIS Word with a SHOTGUN!

    My False Christian brother in law was over for a cook out and he started talking about his liebrul false church. He was going on saying hat most of the Bible is not really true and he said he could prove it.

    He brought over a false NIV Bible and quoted this scripture from it

    Matthew 17:20 (New International Version)

    20He replied, "Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you


    Then he told me to pray to stop he oil spill and claimed I had to little faith to do so.



    With that I told he my faith was for following the orders of Jesus Christ and his Church and with that I pulled out a sawed off 12 gauge with a special trick shell stuffed with tissue and I shot him square in he chest and blew him over the picnic table. He got the message!

    Jesus loves Dick



    Cheney/Palin 2012
    Tags: None
    • Oakland "Reb" Griner
      True Christian™
      True Christian™
      • Jun 2009
      • 2241
      #2
      Re: Teaching HIS Word with a SHOTGUN!

      LOL!

      Served up a dish of Holy correction for your BiL. You should have then loaded a real shell and blasted that fluffy bunny NIV abomination.
      Jud 1:15 To execute judgment upon all, and to convince all that are unGodly among them of all their unGodly deeds which they have unGodly committed, and of all their hard [speeches] which unGodly sinners have spoken against him.

        Comment

        • BelieverInGod
          Fourm Member
          Forum Member
          • Feb 2010
          • 9269
          #3
          Re: Teaching HIS Word with a SHOTGUN!

          How can you call yourself a Christian if you don't follow the words of Christ?

          I often accuse false Christians of using whiteout in their Bibles, I think one day I want to peek in and see if they really do.
          Drama queen

            Comment

            • Pastor Ezekiel
              Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
               
              • Sep 2006
              • 78555
              #4
              Re: Teaching HIS Word with a SHOTGUN!

              False bible versions are nothing short of satanic.
              Who Will Jesus Damn?

              Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

              Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

              Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                Comment

                • FoundMySavior
                  Confirmed Enemy of God
                  • Jun 2010
                  • 5
                  #5
                  Re: Teaching HIS Word with a SHOTGUN!

                  Sounds like a fun cook off.

                    Comment

                    • Dirk
                      True Christian™
                      • Apr 2010
                      • 1425
                      #6
                      Re: Teaching HIS Word with a SHOTGUN!

                      Originally posted by TC Patriot View Post
                      My False Christian brother in law was over for a cook out and he started talking about his liebrul false church. He was going on saying hat most of the Bible is not really true and he said he could prove it.

                      He brought over a false NIV Bible and quoted this scripture from it

                      Matthew 17:20 (New International Version)

                      20He replied, "Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you


                      Then he told me to pray to stop he oil spill and claimed I had to little faith to do so.



                      With that I told he my faith was for following the orders of Jesus Christ and his Church and with that I pulled out a sawed off 12 gauge with a special trick shell stuffed with tissue and I shot him square in he chest and blew him over the picnic table. He got the message!


                      I feel offended that you posted the satanic version of the bible.

                        Comment

                        • HTannor
                          America's Most Fair and Balanced Judge
                          True Christian™
                          • Jun 2009
                          • 2612
                          #7
                          Re: Teaching HIS Word with a SHOTGUN!

                          Brother Dirk, I think Brother TC is doing us a service by posting the blasphemous statement.

                          I believe it's all part of a "Know your enemy" program.

                          It's kind of like using flash cards for learning exercises. TC has provided me with yet another false passage and I will be able to instantly recognize it when some heathen shows up at my door spouting passages and wanting to get into my home.

                          His kleenex-loaded shells are also a good tip. I've printed it out, laminated it, and posted it over my reloading table.
                          The Honorable HTannor (Pro NRA, Anti-Homer Marriage), Judge, Freehold Supreme Court

                          "Credo elvem etiam vivere"

                            Comment

                            • Thurly
                              Unsaved trash
                              Under Investigation
                              • Jun 2010
                              • 8
                              #8
                              Re: Teaching HIS Word with a SHOTGUN!

                              Only in America, God's Glorious country, can a man accieve retribution through a shotgun cartrage! Good on you, showing that heathen that we don't stand for no nonsense. He'll think twice before spreading the lies of his False Religion
                              Remember the Teachings of our Lord:

                              Matthew 2:21
                              [b]And he arose, and took the young child and his mother, and came into the land of Israel[/b]

                                Comment

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