Sermon: "The Rooster, God's Alarm Clock"

[Composter]

Re: Sermon: "The Rooster, God's Alarm Clock"



Your ministry here is a proven lie and a sham, and apart from emotional pleas for credibility, you have a sum total of nothing in the way of legitimate support for your bible, which your combined pitiful efforts here and those losers like you elsewhere; have unambiguously proved!

Thank you for confirming your ineptitude and false beliefs based upon your circular = flawed reasoning!

Oh yes! I also keep copies of all Posts for my students, so they can also see first hand how dimwits like you here behave and how successfull I always am at busting and exposing false ideologies like those presented by you proven false teachers! Of course you will likely Delete my Posts to hide your shame and false doctrine but too bad, I have duplicates to present to my classes and where else I choose and I shall do so as I please!

I bet also you self acclaimed Story book jesus' believers are also in reality, malignant sinners according to your Story book, hence also in reality, ALL proven Story book jesus' frauds! cf. e.g. 1 John 3:6 KJV proven Story book. LOL!

No small wonder your mods here want me quickly banished and banned from speaking openly here, in their pathetic and failed efforts to hide their self proven shame and false doctrines!

Landmark baptists Cult (church = LOL!) lost and lost so quickly against me, that it quickens my heart with joy to know I have again successfully busted yet another fraudulent Cult like yours here at Landover baptists = proven BS artists. LOL!

[Deaner]

Re: Sermon: "The Rooster, God's Alarm Clock"

Apart from empty emmotional pleas, what legitimate evidence do you believe you may have that ANY acclaimed ' holy-text ' is the words of ANY god(s) given to man?

Better luck next times!

Because it says so in the Bible. Please learn how to spell.

[Deaner]

Re: Sermon: "The Rooster, God's Alarm Clock"

Sermon Title: “The Rooster, God’s Alarm Clock”

Now please rise for the invitational hymn.

Pastor Ed

Thank you Pastor Ed for another hymn that I will read as soon as I wake. Will it be the same hymn "I rise with Jesus on my mind and my cock in my hand"? If not, please let me know and I will inform the congregation.

Brother Deaner

[Brother Enoch]

Re: Sermon: "The Rooster, God's Alarm Clock"

Apart from empty emmotional pleas, what legitimate evidence do you believe you may have that ANY acclaimed ' holy-text ' is the words of ANY god(s) given to man?

Better luck next times!

Um, I have the this. Duh.



Better luck next times!

[Redeemed Papist]

Re: Sermon: "The Rooster, God's Alarm Clock"

Apart from empty emmotional pleas, what legitimate evidence do you believe you may have that ANY acclaimed ' holy-text ' is the words of ANY god(s) given to man?

Better luck next times!

Do you always barge in to people's homes and rant on about your opinion?

2 Timothy 3:16 All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:

That sorts that little burst of silliness out; which you'd know if you'd lurked more instead of running off at the mouth like a petulant child.

Make an introduction that we may know you.

Back to praising the Lord's glorious gift of the whole world for our use!

[Composter]

Re: Sermon: "The Rooster, God's Alarm Clock"

Apart from empty emmotional pleas, what legitimate evidence do you believe you may have that ANY acclaimed ' holy-text ' is the words of ANY god(s) given to man?

Better luck next times!

[Redeemed Papist]

Re: Sermon: "The Rooster, God's Alarm Clock"



Nothing makes a person realise how much God cares for him than reflecting on God's bounty. When you truly see the world and take a Godly perspective on it through the Holy Bible of King James you feel a sense of peace and contentment those silly atheist enviro-freaks with their fretting about this tree and that creek and the other rainforest frog can only dream of.

Get God, you tree huggers!

[Pastor Ed Lowman]

Brethren, Farmer Hank has moved in from the fields to the pulpit. This past Sunday, he really turned loose as he preached his first sermon, which happened to be one of my older sermons. It is a wonderful thing we have Godly men like Farmer Hank around. They give us hope that True Christians™ will always be around.

Sermon Title: “The Rooster, God’s Alarm Clock”
Date Presented: October 23, 2011
Message Delivered By: Farmer Hank
From The Series: “Sermons by Farmer Hank”
Theme: Hymn #201, “Is It For Me, Dear Savior”
Thesis: God guides and directs us and gives evidence of his creative power and direction in nature. Sinners can’t see it. Only the righteous can see it.
Sermon Transcribed By: Judith Miller, church secretary, Oakwood Baptist Church:

As the people of God, we look for spiritual things in nature. Conveniently, God has enabled us to see what no one else can see. Heck, some say even if it’s not there, we see it. But that’s why we’re Christians. We’re special and God loves us more than everyone else in the whole wide world. And there is one thing in nature that is a sure testimony of God. The Lord led me to this conclusion earlier this week when I was hoeing in the garden, plantin’ tomaters. The Lord told me to preach a sermon on the rooster.

Roosters are like fruit trees—when we see that they are beneficial to mankind, we just assume that God made them for us. We assume that the fruit put on that tree was put there solely for our benefit. The evolutionists say that fruit is merely nature’s way of reproducing the plant, which is why there are seeds in the fruit itself. But we know, as educated Christians, that God made that fruit for us. We just know it because the Bible says it (Genesis 1:26-30). We have no other way of knowing anything. Not even the senses can convince us of something that is not in the Bible.

Now think about the rooster for a moment. He crows in the morning, which tells us to get up and get our britches on, and to go out to feed the pigs and the hens. How does the rooster know to crow at the same time every morning? Because God told him to! That right there is proof that Jesus Christ is creator of the entire universe, because he made roosters to tell us when to get up. It’s just right to get up early in the morning, to put your overalls on, and not be lazy and sleep in like sluggards (Proverbs 6:6-9), and we farmers know that better than anyone else. This is why southern, white, Christian farmers tend to be so close to God.

And that’s another thing; we work hard for our sustenance, which happens to include chickens. We eat chicken abortions for our pleasure, but we preach that human abortions are wrong at all costs, which is why we voted for Bush twice. And even though the evolutionists keep telling us we are an odd species because we are the only species who drinks the milk of another animal as a source of nutrients well into our old age, we still know that God gave us cows to milk and to eat. It’s in the Bible, so it has to be true. [Loud “AMENS” from the crowd]

We have no problem killing a once-living being for food, for clothing, for saddles, or just for our pleasure so that we people with missing teeth can look at each other and senselessly grin. Any reason to kill is ok. Our minds are eased in killing lesser life-forms because it’s in the Bible that we can do it, and no one ever takes as much delight in killing as when God says the killing is acceptable. And kill we do and will continue to do. We kill for food, for putting big trophies with horns up on our walls (and on the front of our Cadillacs), for rugs, and for oil overseas—and if the law would stay off our backs for long enough, we’d kill the gays, too. God has been gracious enough to enlighten the eyes of a few of his children, not only to see that without Jesus we’re all worthless sinners who are going straight to hell, but to see the purposes God has for all of his creations, just like the rooster.

For instance, we know why pigs were made; they were made to be killed and cooked and cut-up to flavor the beans. And iron was put in the earth to make hoes, rakes, and especially rifles out of. Without rifles, we couldn’t have the National Rifle Association, could we? The NRA is only one tiny step behind the church in holiness and importance. [Countless and loud “AMENS” from the whole congregation]

God has given us many other things, too, like pretty flowers for sending to sweet sisters in Christ, like Leanne Simmons, who recently lost her husband, and Ima May Anderson, whose husband suffered his third heart attack this week alone. Flowers are God’s way of saying, “I may not be willing to heal you of your painful ailments, my child, but I sure will engage your sense of beauty to help you forget about it for the moment!” That’s our God for you—always willing to help us out on the little things, but never a once in the ways that matter most. He’ll heal a heart murmur or a headache, but never an amputee! But, he’s the only God we got, so we still have to worship him or we’ll get the boot. And God is not the enemy here. It’s the evolutionist who is the enemy. The evolutionist tells us that flowers were originally ugly, and that all the beautiful flowers are man-made.

Evolutionists are just stupid. They actually think that the entire universe came from yarn, which is why we hear so much today about “String Theory.” It’s a bunch of hogwash. They say that the horse evolved from a small, scrawny, five-toed, fox-like creature that eventually grew larger, but that’s a bunch of hooey. We know that God created everything exactly as it appears today. The horse was created instantaneously and made to be ridden, just like pappy’s Model-T and Dixie Lee’s old International truck that sits up on blocks in her driveway like it has been for the last 8 years. If horses had been created small, how would Abraham and Moses have gotten around? They didn’t have dependable Fords and Chevys like we do today.

What we often forget is, this is our world and God wants us to get around it and conquer it. God doesn’t care about animals anymore than he cared about injuns when they had this land. That’s why the good Lord ripped it right out of their hands and gave it to us! He cares about us using the animals on this land, too. He wants us to ride them, and then when we’re done, to use them again in large, industrial farming efforts so that they are systematically served up as food with mashed potatoes, so that our young Sallies and Daisys and Tommys and Bobbys can grow up big and strong. And that’s another thing; if God didn’t want us to eat mashed potatoes and gravy, why would he have invented butter or flour? No evolutionist can answer that. And someone please tell me, if God didn’t want us to wipe our rear-ends with them, why did he make plants like lilies and elephant ears? There’s not an evolutionist alive who can answer that! [More “AMENS” heard from the audience]

Come on! Think about it; if God didn’t want us to swim and fish, why would he have made rivers and ponds? If he didn’t want us to herd sheep, why did he give them wool? If God didn’t want us to make and enjoy beer, why did he make porches, lawn chairs, and tailgates for us to sit outside on with our buddies as we admire the confederate flag?

Christians, the point has been made: Jesus loves you and he created this entire universe for you, and not for any other reason. All those stars in the sky that God created he really doesn’t care about, just like the salmon as he futilely swims upstream (Matthew 10:31; I Corinthians 9:8-10). Why, the entire moon doesn’t even matter as much as the spittoon at your papaw’s favorite liquoring hole. What God really cares about is you, little old you. Isn’t that nice? [“AMENS” from all parts of the crowd]

Now please rise for the invitational hymn.

Pastor Ed