[WickedWitch]

Re: Jesus not fond of British beaver

I heard you traded in a snake for your beaver. Is that true? Did you get a good deal? Did you get a new or a used beaver? What's the trade in value of a used snake?

Yours in Christ
Brother lazarus

No, brother, I'm afraid that's not true. I've never had a snake, although I've known people with them. You may be shocked by this, everything in nature seems to suggest it wouldn't work, but snakes and beavers get along extremely well. Indeed, until just recently I made a habit of setting up playdates for my beaver and Capta lovely young gentleman's snake regularly. As to your further questions, I couldn't tell you what a used snake would go for.

[Brother Lazarus]

Re: Jesus not fond of British beaver

Is there something you ladies want to confess?


You have to be careful about the kind of lotion you use. Make sure it's for sensitive skin (as beavers are very sensitive animals), make sure it's moisturizing. You could try a test patch: just apply a small bit of lotion to a small area of skin and wait to see if there's a reaction.

They (the bald variety) are only scratchy if left unattended for a while. There's a lot of up-keep involved, high-maintenance stuff. I really don't know how bald beavers get along in the wild, they really need to be looked after. I'm constantly taking care of mine.

I heard you traded in a snake for your beaver. Is that true? Did you get a good deal? Did you get a new or a used beaver? What's the trade in value of a used snake?

Yours in Christ
Brother lazarus

[WickedWitch]

Re: Jesus not fond of British beaver

Awww Sis, of course you can.
My wrist aches after a while and you do have such a way with my Beaver.

Is there something you ladies want to confess?

WELL THANK YOU!!!!
I should never have taken the advice of a harlot.
On your advice I rubbed in some lotion and now my Beaver has come out in a nasty, itchy rash

I shall be praying for a plague of Locusts to infest your house.

You have to be careful about the kind of lotion you use. Make sure it's for sensitive skin (as beavers are very sensitive animals), make sure it's moisturizing. You could try a test patch: just apply a small bit of lotion to a small area of skin and wait to see if there's a reaction.

Well I for one have never met a beaver I didn't like. The bald ones are a bit scratchy, that's why I prefer the fully furred ones. Those smell like fish, but that is to be expected.

They (the bald variety) are only scratchy if left unattended for a while. There's a lot of up-keep involved, high-maintenance stuff. I really don't know how bald beavers get along in the wild, they really need to be looked after. I'm constantly taking care of mine.

[SayvedByTheLord]

Re: Jesus not fond of British beaver

Well I for one have never met a beaver I didn't like. The bald ones are a bit scratchy, that's why I prefer the fully furred ones. Those smell like fish, but that is to be expected.

[Nurse Clampett]

Re: Jesus not fond of British beaver

Beavers are also highly intelligent and crafty. If you cross them they will scratch your eyes out, take half your equity and tell their friends about your lacking wood. My advice is to be very nice to the beaver.

[Talitha]

Re: Jesus not fond of British beaver

As long as you take good care of it, I don't see why not.

Yes, Brother Lazarus, blad beavers have skin that is both soft and smooth, if it's properly taken care of. When keeping one as a pet, you should remember to lotion it often, as I do. I don't know how they manage to keep their skin so soft out in the wild; bald beavers seem to be something that requires special care. Much like skinny-pigs (bald Guinnea pigs).

WELL THANK YOU!!!!
I should never have taken the advice of a harlot.
On your advice I rubbed in some lotion and now my Beaver has come out in a nasty, itchy rash

I shall be praying for a plague of Locusts to infest your house.

[WickedWitch]

Re: Jesus not fond of British beaver

Is that even legal, to have a pet beaver?

As long as you take good care of it, I don't see why not.

From what I've seen here so far Brother Nobar, beavers seem to be a preferred pet of women. I guess they like to pet the soft fur, but that leaves me no explanation of the bald variety of beaver. Maybe bald beavers have soft, smooth skin?

It's a gift of God that I learn something new everyday at Landover Baptist! Who knew about beavers before this Jesus blessed thread!?

Yours in Christ
Brother Lazarus

Yes, Brother Lazarus, blad beavers have skin that is both soft and smooth, if it's properly taken care of. When keeping one as a pet, you should remember to lotion it often, as I do. I don't know how they manage to keep their skin so soft out in the wild; bald beavers seem to be something that requires special care. Much like skinny-pigs (bald Guinnea pigs).

[Brother Lazarus]

Re: Jesus not fond of British beaver

Is that even legal, to have a pet beaver?

From what I've seen here so far Brother Nobar, beavers seem to be a preferred pet of women. I guess they like to pet the soft fur, but that leaves me no explanation of the bald variety of beaver. Maybe bald beavers have soft, smooth skin?

It's a gift of God that I learn something new everyday at Landover Baptist! Who knew about beavers before this Jesus blessed thread!?

Yours in Christ
Brother Lazarus

[Nobar King]

Re: Jesus not fond of British beaver

Is that even legal, to have a pet beaver?

[Talitha]

Re: Jesus not fond of British beaver

And your beaver is sooooo adorable. Can I come over and brush it?

Awww Sis, of course you can.
My wrist aches after a while and you do have such a way with my Beaver.

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Jesus not fond of British beaver

I have my very own Beaver. In fact, I'm stroking it right now.

I've often wondered if Jesus had a Beaver?

And your beaver is sooooo adorable. Can I come over and brush it?

[Talitha]

Re: Jesus not fond of British beaver

I have my very own Beaver. In fact, I'm stroking it right now.

I've often wondered if Jesus had a Beaver?

[WickedWitch]

Re: Jesus not fond of British beaver

Don't come in here spewing lies Alie. Everyone knows the men in Cannuckistan are limp-wristed pansies.

Now, since when were we talking about men? I could've sworn we were talking about beavers and wood. How do men enter into that? And what have they to do with wood? o.O

Canadian beaver do migrate. They swarm Myrtle Beach SC every April searching diligently for the hard wood that can't be found in Canukistan. South Carolina is well known for hard wood, the most notable being Live Oak. Beavers love that Live Oak! You should bring your beaver down here for a sample. I'm sure your beaver would love it.

Yours in Christ
Brother Lazarus

While it's true our beaver have been known to migrate, they always return to Canada eventually, seeking the excellent quality wood they've known all their lives.

When I was a child, shooting beaver was a popular pastime in my hometown. Oh, how glorious it was when you could bag one! That was when I had my first taste of beaver pie. When it was presented to me, I was a little repulsed. The initial shock soon wore off and I found out that I truly love beaver pie! It is such a wonderful aromatic delicacy. After my first helping I begged for more!

Now I'm hungry for beaver pie...

Sorry, Sister Victory, but I can't help you there. My beaver's none too interested in being eaten.

[VictoryOS]

Re: Jesus not fond of British beaver

When I was a child, shooting beaver was a popular pastime in my hometown. Oh, how glorious it was when you could bag one! That was when I had my first taste of beaver pie. When it was presented to me, I was a little repulsed. The initial shock soon wore off and I found out that I truly love beaver pie! It is such a wonderful aromatic delicacy. After my first helping I begged for more!

Now I'm hungry for beaver pie...

[Brother Lazarus]

Re: Jesus not fond of British beaver

Fine wood in South Carolina? Hmm, well now, that's certainly interesting... I was pretty sure that, as well as having the best beavers, we Canadians also have the best wood. They go hand in hand, you see. Otherwise the beavers would migrate.

Canadian beaver do migrate. They swarm Myrtle Beach SC every April searching diligently for the hard wood that can't be found in Canukistan. South Carolina is well known for hard wood, the most notable being Live Oak. Beavers love that Live Oak! You should bring your beaver down here for a sample. I'm sure your beaver would love it.

Yours in Christ
Brother Lazarus