[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Actually they say that the universe is 4.56 million years old, that god never existed and never will, and that life is around 1.4 billion years old (if I remember correctly).

Let me get this straight. "They," whoever "they" are, say that the universe is 4.56 million years old, whereas life is around 1.4 billion years old. Do you genuinely not see a problem here? Either "they" are completely loony, or you misunderstand your own mythology. Either way, I'll stick with the Bible, thank you very much.

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

A fossilized hammer was found in a formation famous for its dinosaurs, supposed to be 140 million years old (lower cretaceous).

Max Han was fishing with his family near London, TX when he found a rock with wood protruding from it. When the rock was cracked open, this octagonally shaped iron hammer was exposed.

The wood handle is partially coalifed with quartz and calcite crystalline inclusions. Tests performed at Battelle Laboratory document the hammer’s unusual metallurgy, 96% iron, 2.6% chlorine and .74% sulfur (no carbon). Density test indicate casting of exceptional quality. A unique coating of FeO, which does not readily form under present atmospheric conditions, appears to inhibit rusting.

So, monkey-worshippers....I'm waiting!

Maybe it was JESUS'S?

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

This is an uncreadble argument. There is no proof the ark existed. So with no evidince. No argument. So Science wins again.

You want proof? Here is PLENTY of proof:
http://www.accuracyingenesis.com/noahark.html

[Andreas]

This is an uncreadble argument. There is no proof the ark existed. So with no evidince. No argument. So Science wins again.

How can you be more stupid? There's only one proof needed and it's already here - It's the Bible.

What else do you need?

If God says there was an ark, than there was. Are you saying God lies?

[HelmsFan55]

This is an uncreadble argument. There is no proof the ark existed. So with no evidince. No argument. So Science wins again.

[Saria]

God hates you, for you have long hair and you can be mistaken for a woman (such SHAME I cannot even begin to fathom). I suspect that you will become SATAN'S woman, used for his pleasure and sex (as the true role of a woman is).

...actually my hair is pretty short

Heathen, you cannot even begin to comprehend the mind of a TRUE CHRISTIAN(TM). Do not criticize that which you have no knowledge of. As a GODLY(TM) scientist, I can assure you that "Zillion" is a scientifical term used in all of the "THEORY of EVILUTION" papers. Do your research and look into ANY evilution paper . They all say that life is a "zillion" years old and that GOD never existed (even TYPING that makes me woozy!

Actually they say that the universe is 4.56 million years old, that god never existed and never will, and that life is around 1.4 billion years old (if I remember correctly).

Enjoy hell. Which is like a ZILLION ZILLION times worse than the WORST DREAM you ever had. Next time you defile yourself, try using a fiberglass glove covered in hot tamale sauce, to get a feel for what you will spend eternity feeling.

My worst dream, eh? Sounds fun. And how would you know what that felt like?

[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

1.) I'm a MALE

This is unfortunate (for you).

"14Doth not even nature itself teach you, that, if a man have long hair, it is a shame unto him?" - I Corinthians 11:14 (KJV1611)

God hates you, for you have long hair and you can be mistaken for a woman (such SHAME I cannot even begin to fathom). I suspect that you will become SATAN'S woman, used for his pleasure and sex (as the true role of a woman is).

7.) How are there a "zillion" things that I fail to see? For, as I have shown, "zillion" does not denote a real number. So would you be saying that I am omniscient and know everything?

Heathen, you cannot even begin to comprehend the mind of a TRUE CHRISTIAN(TM). Do not criticize that which you have no knowledge of. As a GODLY(TM) scientist, I can assure you that "Zillion" is a scientifical term used in all of the "THEORY of EVILUTION" papers. Do your research and look into ANY evilution paper . They all say that life is a "zillion" years old and that GOD never existed (even TYPING that makes me woozy! Time for another shot of GODLY 1848 SCOTCH)

Enjoy hell. Which is like a ZILLION ZILLION times worse than the WORST DREAM you ever had. Next time you defile yourself, try using a fiberglass glove covered in hot tamale sauce, to get a feel for what you will spend eternity feeling.

[Bobby-Joe]

1.) I'm a MALE

Oh, so we have one of those thespians in a male body crackpots do we? I should have figured that out by the way you have been lusting after Paster Ezekial.

2.) My mom is not a lesbian, nor is she a hermaphrodite
3.) god has not refused to allow me to recieve the holy spirit, I've sent it back to god on a gurney

So you sissy slap the Holy Spirit with your limp wrist homer?

4.) I don't cry... ever
5.) Please don't insult my intelligence as it seems that you have trouble spelling even the word "lesbian"
6.) Why would I be weeping? Hope for the best and expect the worst, then you'll never be utterly disappointed.
7.) How are there a "zillion" things that I fail to see? For, as I have shown, "zillion" does not denote a real number. So would you be saying that I am omniscient and know everything?

No, we are saying you don't understand a THING, why? Becuase God hates you sonny! Now get right with Jesus before Satan is using your body to pelasure himself like a 14 year old uses a roll of socks.

[Saria]

Listen heathen scum; there are zillions of things that you "fail to see". God has not chosen you to receive the Holy Spirit. Now go cry on your lezbean mother's shoulder.

This verse applies to you:

"God shall send them strong delusion, that they should believe a lie: That they all might be damned." -- 2 Thessalonians 2:11-12

Read it and weep, bubblebrained female.

1.) I'm a MALE
2.) My mom is not a lesbian, nor is she a hermaphrodite
3.) god has not refused to allow me to recieve the holy spirit, I've sent it back to god on a gurney
4.) I don't cry... ever
5.) Please don't insult my intelligence as it seems that you have trouble spelling even the word "lesbian"
6.) Why would I be weeping? Hope for the best and expect the worst, then you'll never be utterly disappointed.
7.) How are there a "zillion" things that I fail to see? For, as I have shown, "zillion" does not denote a real number. So would you be saying that I am omniscient and know everything?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

You do know that there is no such number as a "zillion", right? It goes hundred, thousand, million, billion, trillion, quadrillion, quintillion, hextillion, heptillion, octillion, nontillion(I think), etc., etc. And I still fail to see where the bible mentions Satan's penis or condoms at all...

Listen heathen scum; there are zillions of things that you "fail to see". God has not chosen you to receive the Holy Spirit. Now go cry on your lezbean mother's shoulder.

This verse applies to you:

"God shall send them strong delusion, that they should believe a lie: That they all might be damned." -- 2 Thessalonians 2:11-12

Read it and weep, bubblebrained female.

[Saria]

Yes and no. Since we are floating over the bowels of hell, there must be a certain amount of movement (as the crying sinners in HELL scream and move about trying to escape Satan's tallywhacker in vain). Unfortunately for YOU, heathen, we True Christians(TM) know that it is NOT evidence for a BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLION ZIIIILION year old earth.

Go read your Bible before it's too late, sinner, and remember: the best bookmark is a receipt from a tithe to Landover.

You do know that there is no such number as a "zillion", right? It goes hundred, thousand, million, billion, trillion, quadrillion, quintillion, hextillion, heptillion, octillion, nontillion(I think), etc., etc. And I still fail to see where the bible mentions Satan's penis or condoms at all...

[Bobby-Joe]

So you're saying that tectonic shift is merely in our minds?

No, I am saying that plate tectonics happens as God commands. What is in your mind that it is random, uncontrolled thing sinner.

[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

So you're saying that tectonic shift is merely in our minds?

Yes and no. Since we are floating over the bowels of hell, there must be a certain amount of movement (as the crying sinners in HELL scream and move about trying to escape Satan's tallywhacker in vain). Unfortunately for YOU, heathen, we True Christians(TM) know that it is NOT evidence for a BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLION ZIIIILION year old earth.

Go read your Bible before it's too late, sinner, and remember: the best bookmark is a receipt from a tithe to Landover.

[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

I know for a FACT that all scientists do is sit around and make up reasons why God can't exist. Dating fossils is merely reminiscent of craps.

"C'mon, papa needs a new pair of shoes. YAY -- 3.67103 biiiiiillion years old!"

It disgusts me. If only these s-lie-entists would open their hearts to the AWESOME TRUTH(TM) of GOD'S HOLY WORD. Unfortunately they doom themselves by denying God.

I am sure this will make them (and you) happy: I know that the devil practices safe sex.... Too bad he uses a condom spiked with glass and hot tamale sauce.

[Saria]

[EDIT]And how, praytell, would Noah have found animals such as rhinos, giraffes, and other south-African animals to place on his ark, let alone find the food to accomodate them for such a period of time?

The world's continents were all gathered together before The Flood. God only spread the world's lands out as we see them in the post flood period about the time of the Tower of Bable.

So you're saying that tectonic shift is merely in our minds?