[cannibalcorpse]

Re: Gravity destroys your morals!

I go swimming in lakes, rivers and swimming pools. According to the "theory of gravity," I ought to fall straight to the bottom. But then I toss a stone into the water, and it falls right away.

I bet the scientists can't explain that one!

Obviously, I'm being held aloft by angels. Stones, which have no soul, are not worthy of God's protection.

Do you know anything about Science? Your body is made of 70% water. Your lungs are filled with air, and air is lighter than water. When you breathe in, you float more easily. When you breathe out, you sink. This is why corpses sink eventually as their vital fluids and gases leave them. Stones have no air in them, they're made of molecules that are heavier than water molecules, therefore they sink.

So here's a bit of a scientific explanation for you, simplified down into manageable chunks.

Also, how do you explain the historical connotations with your claim of being "held aloft by angels"? Women who were allegedly witches were thrown into water in order to test them - if they floated, it was supposed that they were witches, as it was thought that demons held them aloft. Do please stop all these contradictions, the Bible is filled with them as it is.

And gravity PULLS you towards the earth.

[Chief Indigo]

Re: Gravity destroys your morals!

Everyone knows that we are pulled towards the Earth because we are weighted down by our sins. Jesus had no sins at all, which explains how He could walk on water.

[The Absurdist]

Re: Gravity destroys your morals!

I've been taken into custody once for not applying the law of gravity. It will learn me not to walk mid-air. We should pull down this law!

[Petal]

Re: Gravity destroys your morals!

You must understand that gravity isn't included at all in Gods creation plan. The most scientific explanation currently available is Intelligent Falling (IF), which proposes an intelligent agent to push matter towards earth.

i thinks that intelligences fallings be more christain than gravitys, i not care if them seckular folk laff at me for sayings that eithers cuz i prouds to belive in IF, i be a brain faller for lord God, so there!

here be lord Jesus all saggy an IF-ing on the cross ---> <--- that me

[Jed_Cassidy]

Re: Gravity destroys your morals!

I go swimming in lakes, rivers and swimming pools. According to the "theory of gravity," I ought to fall straight to the bottom. But then I toss a stone into the water, and it falls right away.

I bet the scientists can't explain that one!

Obviously, I'm being held aloft by angels. Stones, which have no soul, are not worthy of God's protection.

Only people who believe in global warming junk science are going to buy into this "theory of gravity."

I urge all Christians to home school their kids. You don't want to expose them to Satanic junk science, homo sex education and other communist ideas.

Teach your kids useful things, like how to read the Bible, make microwave popcorn, and light farts.

yours in Christ,
Brother Buford

Here, here, Brother Buford! Those evil scienticians want us to believe that gravity is innocent and good and just due to bending of the space-time fabric WHEN IT REALLY IS THE PULL CAUSED BY SATAN towards HELL. Tell me, why else would objects be pulled towards the center of the Earth?

Gravity is simply another one of the Devil's mischevious ways to dupe the innocent into falling into the depths of Hell. Then again, if you reject the Word of God and believe this gravity nonsense, you're not innocent anyways and you got what's coming for you.

[Buford T Scoggins]

Re: Gravity destroys your morals!

You're totally right, brother! Scientists never care to check whether it makes any sense what they say, as long as it mocks God, it is acceptable to them. If they had even taken the little trouble to look up to the sky, they would have seen clouds drifting there, in clear violation of their insanely stupid gravitational world views, which teach that clouds ought to fall down.

Amen, brother. And I just want to add that I was trying to talk some sense into an elitist liberal the other day, but got nowhere. When I told him that due to home schooling, conservatives such as myself could do practical things, like lighting farts (gets rid of the smell), he didn't know what I was talking about, so I had to demonstrate. I then showed him how I can crush a beer can against my head. Then I took out my pistol (one of these days I oughta apply for that "concealed weapons permit" thingy) and was about to show him how I could shoot up a stop sign, but he said he had something important to do and took off real fast. Wouldn't surprise me to learn that he was on his way to a pro-abortion rally or gay wedding.

yours in Christ,
Brother Buford

[True Disciple]

Re: Gravity destroys your morals!

I go swimming in lakes, rivers and swimming pools. According to the "theory of gravity," I ought to fall straight to the bottom. But then I toss a stone into the water, and it falls right away.

I bet the scientists can't explain that one!

Obviously, I'm being held aloft by angels. Stones, which have no soul, are not worthy of God's protection.

Only people who believe in global warming junk science are going to buy into this "theory of gravity."

You're totally right, brother! Scientists never care to check whether it makes any sense what they say, as long as it mocks God, it is acceptable to them. If they had even taken the little trouble to look up to the sky, they would have seen clouds drifting there, in clear violation of their insanely stupid gravitational worldviews, which teach that clouds ought to fall down.

[Buford T Scoggins]

Re: Gravity destroys your morals!

I go swimming in lakes, rivers and swimming pools. According to the "theory of gravity," I ought to fall straight to the bottom. But then I toss a stone into the water, and it falls right away.

I bet the scientists can't explain that one!

Obviously, I'm being held aloft by angels. Stones, which have no soul, are not worthy of God's protection.

Only people who believe in global warming junk science are going to buy into this "theory of gravity."

I urge all Christians to home school their kids. You don't want to expose them to Satanic junk science, homo sex education and other communist ideas.

Teach your kids useful things, like how to read the Bible, make microwave popcorn, and light farts.

yours in Christ,
Brother Buford

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Gravity destroys your morals!

It is just a rebellion against man's spelling. Satan works through words. Every lie Satan has told is written down in words. To mock this tool of his is dong teh work of our Lord.

If you cannot adhere to the standard rules of grammar, spelling and punctuation inherent in God's favorite language (American!), then we will have to ask you to leave.

That includes the reasonable use of the "Shift" key that God so thoughtfully provided your computer. God DOES care about grammar, you see.

"one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law" - Matthew 5:18

[Brother Enoch]

Re: Gravity destroys your morals!

It is just a rebellion against man's spelling. Satan works through words. Every lie Satan has told is written down in words. To mock this tool of his is dong teh work of our Lord.

Then why is it spelled correctly in your sig? If spelling it incorrectly mocks Satan, then spelling it correctly must honor Satan and mock God, yes?

So are you a Godmocker? Or just an ignorant lair trying to explain his illiteracy?

Which is it?

[godgunsguts]

Re: Gravity destroys your morals!

It is just a rebellion against man's spelling. Satan works through words. Every lie Satan has told is written down in words. To mock this tool of his is dong teh work of our Lord.

[Brother Enoch]

Re: Gravity destroys your morals!

I have of recent earned many crowns for my having those of teh Temple of Darwin damned for supporting teh evo-atheist lie.

I believe your post has opened my eyes to new crowns to earn, to have damned those who believe in teh gravo-atheist Church of Newton. Teh Bible is clear, God holds teh stars in heaven, not this gravo-atheist theory. It is just an attempt to replace God in our schools. What has teh study of gravity ever brought us?

Hitler himself believed in gravity, as did Mao, Stalin, Marx, and Richard Dawkins. Billions have died because of these people.

What does 'teh' mean? You used it 6 times in your post. Is it a chink word?

[godgunsguts]

Re: Gravity destroys your morals!

I have of recent earned many crowns for my having those of teh Temple of Darwin damned for supporting teh evo-atheist lie.

I believe your post has opened my eyes to new crowns to earn, to have damned those who believe in teh gravo-atheist Church of Newton. Teh Bible is clear, God holds teh stars in heaven, not this gravo-atheist theory. It is just an attempt to replace God in our schools. What has teh study of gravity ever brought us?

Hitler himself believed in gravity, as did Mao, Stalin, Marx, and Richard Dawkins. Billions have died because of these people.

[True Disciple]

Re: Gravity destroys your morals!

It would truly be humbling and humiliating.

Well, maybe that's why Satan, being angry at being Pushed Down Intelligently to earth and smashing headfirst into some mountain, came up with the lie of gravity: it allowed him to deny that God banished him from heaven, but that he rather fell by some kind of idiot natural process.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Gravity destroys your morals!

Job:1:7: And the LORD said unto Satan, Whence comest thou? Then Satan answered the LORD, and said, From going to and fro in the earth, and from walking up and down in it.

no mention of flying...