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  • georgetre
    Confirmed Enemy of God
    BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
    • Nov 2007
    • 29
    #1

    What The....?

    Wow,

    So is this forum actually just a big fucking joke, making fun of real religious people?

    Because if it is, you have pulled it off real well.
    Tags: landover is the truth(tm)
    • georgetre
      Confirmed Enemy of God
      BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
      • Nov 2007
      • 29
      #2
      Re: DOUBLE U, TEE, F

      Cause damn, you guy's really got me good!

        Comment

        • Sister Noddy
          True Christian™
          True Christian™
          • Jun 2007
          • 1843
          #3
          Re: DOUBLE U, TEE, F

          Originally posted by george View Post

          Cause damn, you guy's really got me good!
          Who, US? Soooo you think we're just joking around?

          We're as real as the WORD OF GOD, the King James version 1611 Bible, and we follow the scripture verse for verse, as literally as GOD dictated it, young man!

          Whoever and whatever Jesus loves, so we love, and whoever and whatever Jesus hates, so we hate. If GOD laughs first, then we laugh. If GOD gets mad, then so do we. We hate the sin, not the sinner.

          All others who claim to be Christians are really false-christians because they don't follow the Bible exactly. They are going to Hell when they die, of course, along with all the other heathen unbelieving scum of the world.

          You would do well to learn something from our GODLY pastors here! JESUS has obviously led you to our church forums for a reason, to come to know His sweet eternal love! Let that be a lesson to yoooooou, Georgie boy!
          1st Timothy 2: 9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
          1st Timothy 2: 10 But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works ...

          1 Timothy 5: 16 If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed ...

          Proverbs 31: 26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness ...
          Proverbs 31: 27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness ...

            Comment

            • Pastor Isaac Peters
              Senior Pastor
              Ex-liberal; converted to True Christianity™
              Always Biblically correct
              True Christian™
              • Sep 2006
              • 10639
              #4
              Re: DOUBLE U, TEE, F

              We are every bit as real as Our Lord Jesus Christ and as the lake of fire into which He will drop-kick you. God is not mocked, and we have no tolerance here for mocking either Him or His Church.

              Now stop trolling and start repenting, or the devil will really get you good. Then we'll see how much of a joke you think it is, when you remember how much we tried to warn you in Christian love to depart from your path of sin.
              This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

              Questions to ask liberal "Christians" ✞ Things that the Bible doesn't say ✞ Tolerance

              sigpic

                Comment

                • Nobar King
                  Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
                  Christ's Guardian
                  True Christian™
                  • Sep 2007
                  • 23748
                  #5
                  Re: DOUBLE U, TEE, F

                  Save the potty mouth for your boyfriend. Foul language is not appreciated, no matter how cryptic.
                  May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

                    Comment

                    • DwightKSchrute
                      Unsaved trash
                      Under Investigation
                      • Nov 2007
                      • 1
                      #6
                      Re: DOUBLE U, TEE, F

                      Originally posted by Sister Noddy View Post
                      We're as real as the WORD OF GOD, the King James version 1611 Bible, and we follow the scripture verse for verse, as literally as GOD dictated it, young man!

                      Whoever and whatever Jesus loves, so we love, and whoever and whatever Jesus hates, so we hate. If GOD laughs first, then we laugh. If GOD gets mad, then so do we. We hate the sin, not the sinner.
                      The Bible warns of false prophets and following blindly. Luke chapter 6 verse 39 "And he spake a parable unto them, Can the blind lead the blind? Shall they not both fall into the ditch?" Is that not what you are doing by following the scripture as you so interpret it verse for verse?

                      This Baptist church is not divinely inspired by GOD or has any authority by Jesus Christ. How do you know who Christ ordained? The scriptures say in the book of Luke chapter 21 verse 15 "I shall give you a mouth and wisdom which none of your adversaries shall be able to gainsay nor resist." Now I have that mouth, that is why you will feel angry and frustrated when you read this post. You don't want to deal intelligently with the word of GOD. The scriptures say the servants of the LORD must not strive. If we both believe in the Bible should we not agree? What's happening here is that someone is not believing in the Bible. They are believing in the words so given to them by their false prophets. The people who lead you to believe that the Catholic Church is wrong or that another church is wrong. If we all believe in the Bible are we not the same? Those who follow the word of GOD will be saved. As you follow the word of GOD so will I. See you in Heaven.
                      And I looked, and beheld a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death, and Hell followed with him.

                        Comment

                        • Deaner
                          Christ's Love Messenger
                          True Christian™
                          • Sep 2006
                          • 5932
                          #7
                          Re: DOUBLE U, TEE, F

                          Originally posted by DwightKSchrute View Post
                          This Baptist church is not divinely inspired by GOD or has any authority by Jesus Christ. .
                          And we're supposed to listen to a filthy nazi named Schrute?

                          Sie sprechen Deutsch Hans?

                            Comment

                            • Pastor Billy-Reuben
                              Senior Pastor
                              VP of Evangelical Outreach
                              On FIRE for Jesus
                              True Christian™
                              • Sep 2006
                              • 5812
                              #8
                              Re: DOUBLE U, TEE, F

                              Originally posted by DwightKSchrute View Post
                              The [false prophets] who lead you to believe that the Catholic Church is wrong or that another church is wrong.
                              Didn't you just say this:

                              Originally posted by DwightKSchrute View Post
                              This Baptist church is not divinely inspired by GOD or has any authority by Jesus Christ.
                              So if, by your reckoning, a false prophet is someone who leads others to believe that another church is wrong, then I suppose that you are now included in that group.

                              Originally posted by DwightKSchrute View Post
                              What's happening here is that someone is not believing in the Bible.
                              You might want to start by looking in the mirror, friend.

                              Originally posted by DwightKSchrute View Post
                              The Bible warns of false prophets and following blindly. Luke chapter 6 verse 39 "And he spake a parable unto them, Can the blind lead the blind? Shall they not both fall into the ditch?" Is that not what you are doing by following the scripture as you so interpret it verse for verse?
                              None of the Pastors here "interprets" or "twists" scripture. No prophecy of the Scripture is of any private interpretation. Scripture is best understood as a plain reading. Understand scripture as a child would understand it. There are no "hidden messages" or "Bible codes". God's Word is plain for all to read and understand, Amen.

                              You seem like a very angry person, friend. Why is that? God loves you, friend. Don't you know that Jesus died for you? He shed His precious blood on the cross so that you might be saved. Oh won't you put your hatred aside, and let Jesus bless you?

                              Pastor Billy-Reuben
                              Upon request I will cite scripture for all these facts in God's Holy Word.

                              ✝ This is a Christian community and we worship GOD of the Holy bible, the only Living GOD. We worship Jesus Christ, Son of GOD and Savior. Anything else is absurd. ✝
                              Trump / Arpaio 2016 -- The Government We Deserve
                              #ChristianLivesMatter

                              sigpic

                                Comment

                                • Brother Temperance
                                  Senior Usher
                                  True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom
                                  A very nice young man
                                  True Christian™
                                  • Sep 2006
                                  • 15621
                                  #9
                                  Re: What The....?

                                  Originally posted by DwightKSchrute View Post
                                  The scriptures say the servants of the LORD must not strive. If we both believe in the Bible should we not agree? What's happening here is that someone is not believing in the Bible.
                                  Precisely. We are, you aren't. Are you a Pope-worshipper? Jesus hates that.
                                  O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



                                  God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

                                    Comment

                                    • Professor Ogden
                                      True Christian™
                                      True Christian™
                                      • Oct 2006
                                      • 22
                                      #10
                                      Re: DOUBLE U, TEE, F

                                      Originally posted by DwightKSchrute View Post
                                      The Bible warns of false prophets and following blindly. Luke chapter 6 verse 39 "And he spake a parable unto them, Can the blind lead the blind? Shall they not both fall into the ditch?" Is that not what you are doing by following the scripture as you so interpret it verse for verse?

                                      This Baptist church is not divinely inspired by GOD or has any authority by Jesus Christ. How do you know who Christ ordained? The scriptures say in the book of Luke chapter 21 verse 15 "I shall give you a mouth and wisdom which none of your adversaries shall be able to gainsay nor resist." Now I have that mouth, that is why you will feel angry and frustrated when you read this post. You don't want to deal intelligently with the word of GOD. The scriptures say the servants of the LORD must not strive. If we both believe in the Bible should we not agree? What's happening here is that someone is not believing in the Bible. They are believing in the words so given to them by their false prophets. The people who lead you to believe that the Catholic Church is wrong or that another church is wrong. If we all believe in the Bible are we not the same? Those who follow the word of GOD will be saved. As you follow the word of GOD so will I. See you in Heaven.
                                      Your figurative interpretations of the Divine Word are your personal path to Hell...we will laugh as you squirm and scream.

                                      God hates disseminators.
                                      Professor Ogden

                                      With the Holy Bible as your sole authority, you may, with a clear conscience, go into the world and act in ANY manner that will promulgate the Faith and the Name of Christianity

                                      I am perfectly willing to give my life for my beliefs as well as yours.

                                        Comment

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