[H. Montague Worthington]

Re: Free Paddles!

Just FYI, speaking of Free Paddles...

I hear there is a man who lives in a trailer down by the river that offers to give young boys free paddles, as in a corrective spanking. While I'm sure most parents in Freehold applaud his enthusiam, I think they should probably keep these matters within the family.

[Unsaved and Loving It]

Re: Free Paddles!

I get all hot and bothered just thinking about it.

Yeah, so I can imagine...

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Free Paddles!

You know what'd be really poetic justice? If Dick gets mauled by an animal, or "accidentally" shot by a fellow hunter on his next trip. I'd just sit back in my chair and laugh. Oh, and shortly afterwards post here and say "Told ya so".

You know what would be just poetic? If, when he finishes his term in 2016, Dick Cheney wrote a novel in collaboration with his good buddy Lewis Libby. A combination of Libby's wonderful imagination with Dick Cheney's masterful command of the English language and personal, first-hand experience of dead animals - I get all hot and bothered just thinking about it.

[Sister Noddy]

Re: Free Paddles!

Originally posted by Jonathan H. Dona

I much prefer a rod made of steel or iron. My favorite was this steel rod, maybe a meter long and 5 inches thick. After using that on my children they'd be sure to never commit such sin again because the power of Jesus had broken all of their fingers. Now their fingers are healed and they're praising the Lord! Praise Jesus and His power to stop sin!

Ooooooh sure, the power of Jesus did it

Originally Posted by The article:

Upstairs his son worried that his friends at school would label his father a loon.

Well, duh!

Originally posted by Bobby-Joe:

You must love Jesus a whole lot to practice with a club like that Sister Talitha.

But of course! ... that must be because the gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister is so talented in all things of Jesus

... hmmm ...

[Unsaved and Loving It]

Re: Free Paddles!

So you actually wish death on our Godly vice president? So noted.

Just make sure that at least that gets written onto my DOF file without errors this time, alrighty?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Free Paddles!

You know what'd be really poetic justice? If Dick gets mauled by an animal, or "accidentally" shot by a fellow hunter on his next trip. I'd just sit back in my chair and laugh. Oh, and shortly afterwards post here and say "Told ya so".

So you actually wish death on our Godly vice president? So noted.

By the way; The Honourable Dick Cheney is protected by Jesus Himself. You, being a tool of satan, are infinitely more likely to be killed in an unfortunate gun accident. Any day now.

Praise Jesus.

[Unsaved and Loving It]

Re: Free Paddles!

You know what'd be really poetic justice? If Dick gets mauled by an animal, or "accidentally" shot by a fellow hunter on his next trip. I'd just sit back in my chair and laugh. Oh, and shortly afterwards post here and say "Told ya so".

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Free Paddles!

Now why should the victim of a shooting be the one to apologize for getting shot?

Jews can't do anything right in your Nazi worldview, can they? Even when they apologise you still try and twist it so it looks like they're doing something wrong.

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: Free Paddles!

If a shooter grabs my gun while it is still in my hand, unsets the safety, pressed down on my finger so it pulls the trigger and gets shot, whose fault is that?

DeadEye Dick didn't shoot an assailant whith whom he was struggling for possession of a gun. He shot a hunting buddy, and while I understand that hunting accidents happen, he should not have waited to make it known. He owed the man he shot an apology, not the other way around.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Free Paddles!

Now why should the victim of a shooting be the one to apologize for getting shot?

If a shooter grabs my gun while it is still in my hand, unsets the safety, pressed down on my finger so it pulls the trigger and gets shot, whose fault is that?

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: Free Paddles!

Sister, you are so compassionate that you remind me of Dick Cheney himself! When he was inconvenienced by Mr. Whittington's inability to avoid his birdshot, he was compassionate enough to forgive the man almost immediately after he was released from the hospital, even though Mr. Whittington's apology felt wooden! Surely you are a role model for all of us

Now why should the victim of a shooting be the one to apologize for getting shot?

[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

Re: Free Paddles!

Got him to sell one of his Kidneys on the Internet.
Treated myself to a whole new set of Clubs and enough to pay for an Agency Gardener until he can work again.

Sometimes It's so difficult being such a caring True Christian™ but Jesus gives me strength to go on.

Sister, you are so compassionate that you remind me of Dick Cheney himself! When he was inconvenienced by Mr. Whittington's inability to avoid his birdshot, he was compassionate enough to forgive the man almost immediately after he was released from the hospital, even though Mr. Whittington's apology felt wooden! Surely you are a role model for all of us

[Talitha]

Re: Free Paddles!

Yes, that employee contract your lawyer drew up is the envy of many a Freehold employer. Did your gardener pay up on the damages he did your golf club with his head?

Got him to sell one of his Kidneys on the Internet.
Treated myself to a whole new set of Clubs and enough to pay for an Agency Gardener until he can work again.

Sometimes It's so difficult being such a caring True Christian™ but Jesus gives me strength to go on.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Free Paddles!

Well, Thank You for saying that Pastor.
you know how irritated I get when I don't get my Bush trimmed to my liking.
You know, I used to have quite a temper until I had the Love of Jesus enter me.
Of course, those little yellow tablets help too.
But with those tablets,The Love of Jesus, and a good Joo Lawyer I don't have any problems now.

Praise HIM

Yes, that employee contract your lawyer drew up is the envy of many a Freehold employer. Did your gardener pay up on the damages he did your golf club with his head?

[Talitha]

Re: Free Paddles!

If I haven’t mentioned it you have quite the talent with a rod of correction Sister Talitha. I couldn’t help noticed the other day when you were discussing how you wanted your hedges trimmed with your gardener (to be honest I wasn’t spying, someone called in your discussion in as an assault) Just watching you swing that golf club, wow. Your gardener was down on the ground in an instant clutching his greasy head and screaming like a little girl while you were shouting “trim my bush right, little BOY!”. Then one, two, three swings at him in rapid succession, each swing drawing blood. It was awesome, some of the guys on the Security Detail can’t swing a club that quick Sister Talitha.

You must love Jesus a whole lot to practice with a club like that Sister Talitha.

Well, Thank You for saying that Pastor.
you know how irritated I get when I don't get my Bush trimmed to my liking.
You know, I used to have quite a temper until I had the Love of Jesus enter me.
Of course, those little yellow tablets help too.
But with those tablets,The Love of Jesus, and a good Joo Lawyer I don't have any problems now.

Praise HIM