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  • BrotherLarry
    replied
    Re: Start hitting your child with a rod 16 weeks before birth!

    Sister Mary,


    The LORD GOD spake unto me and told me that your daughter's selfish weight gain is temporary. He said it's only a matter of months until that weight comes out of her. PRAISE HIS NAME!


    He also said to be sure she continues to take vitamins and sees a doctor regularly until the weight comes off - just in case.


    He also said something about a "new person" entering your household, which I suppose means that your child will be like a new person once she is no longer fat and ugly - I don't know.


    GLORY TO GOD!
    BrotherLarry

    Leave a comment:


  • Mary Etheldreda
    replied
    Re: Start hitting your child with a rod 16 weeks before birth!

    With my daughter's selfish weight gain (how will Mr. Etheldreda betroth her to anyone with that pudgey belly?), this is timely advice. When she does get married, I'll remind her that if she doesn't want a rebellious disappointment for a child, she should encourage prophylactic hitting as soon as the Pastors say it's developmentally okay.

    Leave a comment:


  • Thomas Taylor
    replied
    Re: Start hitting your child with a rod 16 weeks before birth!

    Originally posted by God_is_awesome View Post
    I did not say don't use a rod. I said discipline them for wrong doings, if you hit them before they are born, they would have nothing to do wrong because they have not been out to do anything.

    If you can find a verse that says, "Hit your child for no reason" I would like to see it.


    Also, Colossians 3:21 Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they to be discouraged.
    Child, we are all conceived in sin. Hence the unborn child has commited sins and needs to be chastened. Simple eh?

    Leave a comment:


  • Cranky Old Man
    replied
    Re: Start hitting your child with a rod 16 weeks before birth!

    Originally posted by God_is_awesome View Post
    The rod is referring to discipline, so when it says the rod it is meaning discipline.
    You are altering the Bible.

    Deuteronomy 4:2, Revelation 22:18-19 and Psalm 12:6-7 make very clear that it is not allowed to alter the Bible and that those who do it anyway, that means you, will be severely punished. So if anything bad happens to you now or in the near future you now know exactly what caused it!

    Leave a comment:


  • Dr Laurence Niles
    replied
    Re: Start hitting your child with a rod 16 weeks before birth!

    Originally posted by God_is_awesome View Post
    The rod is referring to discipline, so when it says the rod it is meaning discipline.
    What is your rationale for concluding that Jesus meant discipline when He actually used the word 'rod'?

    YIC

    Leave a comment:


  • Billy Bob Jenkins
    replied
    Re: Start hitting your child with a rod 16 weeks before birth!

    Originally posted by God_is_awesome View Post
    The rod is referring to discipline, so when it says the rod it is meaning discipline.
    God doesn't stutter, son. He knows the word discipline, and is fully capable of using it when He wants to convey its meaning in a sentence.

    Only a false prophet would change the words of the Bible around, claiming it means something other than what it says.

    Leave a comment:


  • God_is_awesome
    replied
    Re: Start hitting your child with a rod 16 weeks before birth!

    Originally posted by Alphonse Alban View Post
    No, it says the one who spared the rod, hate children. Just like Jesus says it, if you do not use the rod you are a child hating monster. In any case, using the rod is an act of love.

    Proverbs 13:24 He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.
    The rod is referring to discipline, so when it says the rod it is meaning discipline.

    Leave a comment:


  • Alphonse Alban
    replied
    Re: Start hitting your child with a rod 16 weeks before birth!

    Originally posted by God_is_awesome View Post
    It meanes you hate your children if you spare them from discipline
    No, it says the one who spared the rod, hate children. Just like Jesus says it, if you do not use the rod you are a child hating monster. In any case, using the rod is an act of love.

    Proverbs 13:24 He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.

    Leave a comment:


  • Zechariah Smyth
    replied
    Re: Start hitting your child with a rod 16 weeks before birth!

    Originally posted by God_is_awesome View Post
    I did not say don't use a rod. I said discipline them for wrong doings, if you hit them before they are born, they would have nothing to do wrong because they have not been out to do anything.

    If you can find a verse that says, "Hit your child for no reason" I would like to see it.


    Also, Colossians 3:21 Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they to be discouraged.
    Maybe you should start by reading the entire thread. All of your "concerns" have been answered numerous times.

    Leave a comment:


  • God_is_awesome
    replied
    Re: Start hitting your child with a rod 16 weeks before birth!

    Originally posted by Zechariah Smyth View Post
    You're mincing words that are precise by their very nature.

    You: "No it means to discipline them."

    Any person who has read the Bible: "And what form of discipline does the Bible proscribe?"

    You: "Um...I don't know."

    Any person who has read the Bible: "The rod."

    You: Exits stage left with defeated look on your face.

    I did not say don't use a rod. I said discipline them for wrong doings, if you hit them before they are born, they would have nothing to do wrong because they have not been out to do anything.

    If you can find a verse that says, "Hit your child for no reason" I would like to see it.


    Also, Colossians 3:21 Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they to be discouraged.

    Leave a comment:


  • Zechariah Smyth
    replied
    Re: Start hitting your child with a rod 16 weeks before birth!

    Originally posted by God_is_awesome View Post
    It meanes you hate your children if you spare them from discipline
    You're mincing words that are precise by their very nature.

    You: "No it means to discipline them."

    Any person who has read the Bible: "And what form of discipline does the Bible proscribe?"

    You: "Um...I don't know."

    Any person who has read the Bible: "The rod."

    You: Exits stage left with defeated look on your face.

    Leave a comment:


  • God_is_awesome
    replied
    Re: Start hitting your child with a rod 16 weeks before birth!

    Originally posted by God_is_awesome View Post
    It meanes you hate your children if you spare them from discipline
    Proverbs 23:13-14 "Withhold not correction from the child:"
    This means do not withhold correcting your child.

    Leave a comment:


  • God_is_awesome
    replied
    Re: Start hitting your child with a rod 16 weeks before birth!

    Originally posted by Alphonse Alban View Post
    Not at all. Jesus makes it clear that you hate your children if you do not use rod on them.

    Proverbs 13:24 He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.
    It meanes you hate your children if you spare them from discipline

    Leave a comment:


  • Alphonse Alban
    replied
    Re: Start hitting your child with a rod 16 weeks before birth!

    Originally posted by God_is_awesome View Post
    I believe that you have misunderstood that verse. It meanes, if your child is misbehaving, then discipline the child.
    Not at all. Jesus makes it clear that you hate your children if you do not use rod on them.

    Proverbs 13:24 He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.

    Leave a comment:


  • God_is_awesome
    replied
    Re: Start hitting your child with a rod 16 weeks before birth!

    Originally posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
    All loving parents know that you have to hit a child with a rod to properly raise it.

    God is very clear about that:
    • Proverbs 23:13-14 "Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell."
    • Proverbs 13:24 "He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes."

    Less clear is the perfect age to start doing this. Fortunately True Christian™ science has now finally solved that mystery.

    Using advanced ultrasound scans of a foetus, True Christian™ researchers have found that connections in the foetal brain are not fully formed before 24 weeks. In practical terms this means the best time to start hitting the child with a rod is about 16 weeks before it is born. Usually this is also a period in which your wife starts neglecting her duties so you can hit two birds with one stone by hitting hard with a rod on the belly of the pregnant woman. Make sure to be forceful enough, otherwise the child will not notice!



    I believe that you have misunderstood that verse. It meanes, if your child is misbehaving, then discipline the child.

    Leave a comment:

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