[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: ALERT: "Wii" is Oriental for "I'm Having an Orgasm!"

...And the word isn't actually a Japanese word. The word was literally invented by Nintendo so people of any nationality could easily pronounce it.

Er... let me see if I have this right,
1. "wii" isn't a Japanese word
2. the word "wii" was invented by Nintendo
3. Nintendo is Japanese.
4. Therefore a word invented by the Japanese is not Japanese...

[Skull_Kid]

Re: ALERT: "Wii" is Oriental for "I'm Having an Orgasm!"

Oriental isn't a fucking language.

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: ALERT: "Wii" is Oriental for "I'm Having an Orgasm!"

Thanks for that worthless info Brother Maxipad.

[Brother_Maxi]

Re: ALERT: "Wii" is Oriental for "I'm Having an Orgasm!"

Wii is still fun. And the word isn't actually a Japanese word. The word was literally invented by Nintendo so people of any nationality could easily pronounce it.

[Chickenoodle]

Re: ALERT: "Wii" is Oriental for "I'm Having an Orgasm!"

I do hope you're not funning us, Noodle.

I'd hate to think you're treating Salvation™ as some sort of game, or an episode of that vile program, Southern Pork.



If equating the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit with Underpants Gnomes is not blaspheming the Holy Spirit (the one unforgivable sin), I don't know what is!

Certainly not, Sister. I'm not a saint but I don't know nearly enough about South Puke to pin-point the origin of that internet expression. Makes me question your 'True' faith... especially when you're able to look at that vile image.

Disgusting.

[JennyD]

Re: ALERT: "Wii" is Oriental for "I'm Having an Orgasm!"

1. Stop straddling the center console...
2. Don't buy a Wii...
3. ???
4. Salvation!

Is this right?

I do hope you're not funning us, Noodle.

I'd hate to think you're treating Salvation(tm) as some sort of game, or an episode of that vile program, Southern Pork.



If equating the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit with Underpants Gnomes is not blaspheming the Holy Spirit (the one unforgivable sin), I don't know what is!

[Pastor Billy-Reuben]

Re: ALERT: "Wii" is Oriental for "I'm Having an Orgasm!"

1. Stop straddling the center console...
2. Don't buy a Wii...
3. ???
4. Salvation!

Is this right?

Yes, and your missing step 3 is here.

Pastor Billy-Reuben

[Chickenoodle]

Re: ALERT: "Wii" is Oriental for "I'm Having an Orgasm!"

1. Stop straddling the center console...
2. Don't buy a Wii...
3. ???
4. Salvation!

Is this right?

[Pastor Billy-Reuben]

Re: ALERT: "Wii" is Oriental for "I'm Having an Orgasm!"

Seriously, can't I just ask for forgiveness instead of cutting off my hand, penis and closing my anus? Doesn't the Bible say that you can be saved if you accept Jesus as your Savior?

Jesus will only forgive your sins if you repent of them. That means you have to stop committing those sins.

I hope this helps.

Pastor Billy-Reuben

[Chickenoodle]

Re: ALERT: "Wii" is Oriental for "I'm Having an Orgasm!"

All the times I've asked Jesus to save me, he never answered. I think he enjoyed seeing me in such a carnal way... Seriously, can't I just ask for forgiveness instead of cutting off my hand, penis and closing my anus? Doesn't the Bible say that you can be saved if you accept Jesus as your Savior?

A moment of pain isn't right when turning your rear-end into a Play-doh Spaghetti Factory.

[Brother Habbo]

Re: ALERT: "Wii" is Oriental for "I'm Having an Orgasm!"

And I fear closing my anus would lead to terrible consequence and making a voluntary decision is no different than putting a gun to ones head. I'd die from a form of septic shock and I'm hoping to get forgiveness from Christ... not set myself unto eternal damnation by taking my life.

Can't you just get a colostomy bag?

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: ALERT: "Wii" is Oriental for "I'm Having an Orgasm!"

Brother, having my penis removed wouldn't solve my problem... and I doubt Christ would look well upon me if I did so as it isn't near the problem. When you speak of removing my hands, I must admit my agile and strong body needed no hand-guidance when in my front seat... And I fear closing my anus would lead to terrible consequence and making a voluntary decision is no different than putting a gun to ones head. I'd die from a form of septic shock and I'm hoping to get forgiveness from Christ... not set myself unto eternal damnation by taking my life.

Your' choice is Jesus and Life Eternal or sin, depravity and hellfire. I urge you to do the right thing. A little pain now beats a lot of pain in the hereafter.

Isn't there another way I can receive forgiveness!? If not, I guess I'll have no other choice but to heed your words.

Get down on your knees an beg for His forgiveness. You should be asking Jesus for guidance on how to live your' life not us men. Every day I talk to the Lord in the morning to see what He wants done.

[Chickenoodle]

Re: ALERT: "Wii" is Oriental for "I'm Having an Orgasm!"

I think your' course is clear here, time to become a Eunuch for Christ.

Brother, having my penis removed wouldn't solve my problem... and I doubt Christ would look well upon me if I did so as it isn't near the problem. When you speak of removing my hands, I must admit my agile and strong body needed no hand-guidance when in my front seat... And I fear closing my anus would lead to terrible consequence and making a voluntary decision is no different than putting a gun to ones head. I'd die from a form of septic shock and I'm hoping to get forgiveness from Christ... not set myself unto eternal damnation by taking my life.

Isn't there another way I can receive forgiveness!? If not, I guess I'll have no other choice but to heed your words.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: ALERT: "Wii" is Oriental for "I'm Having an Orgasm!"

Amen brothers. For the longest time I have had a fascination with having sexual encounters with inanimate objects as my temptations have gotten the best of me. Now, with the posting of this article, I am interested in seeking salvation. Brothers, in what ways shall I cleanse myself of this temptation, as well as all the other shortcomings I have found in my late journey away from Christ. I feel horrible for walking a path without our savior, and I would like to walk along with him by my side... but is he willing to forgive me? Can he overlook the fact that I sodomized myself with the emergency brake of my car? Can he look past my desires to sodomize myself with the Wii remote? The crazy girl looked excited beyond belief to hold it in her hand... I can only imagine the pleasure it'd bring to other parts; alas, it is these thoughts I must vanquish from my life.

Dear Brothers, please hear my sincere plea for help.

Where do I start...?

Friend,

Scripture tells you to cut off your' hand if it offends you in the eyes of The Lord. I think your' course is clear here, time to become a Eunuch for Christ.

[Chickenoodle]

Re: ALERT: "Wii" is Oriental for "I'm Having an Orgasm!"

Amen brothers. For the longest time I have had a fascination with having sexual encounters with inanimate objects as my temptations have gotten the best of me. Now, with the posting of this article, I am interested in seeking salvation. Brothers, in what ways shall I cleanse myself of this temptation, as well as all the other shortcomings I have found in my late journey away from Christ. I feel horrible for walking a path without our savior, and I would like to walk along with him by my side... but is he willing to forgive me? Can he overlook the fact that I sodomized myself with the emergency brake of my car? Can he look past my desires to sodomize myself with the Wii remote? The crazy girl looked excited beyond belief to hold it in her hand... I can only imagine the pleasure it'd bring to other parts; alas, it is these thoughts I must vanquish from my life.

Dear Brothers, please hear my sincere plea for help.

Where do I start...?