[Aristotle]

Re: Stoning As Capital Punishment

Gentlemen, I think you are missing a key point. An organ must be viable, that mean able to work and function. God knows, that alone excludes ever organ from a lay about, shuffle footed, pie stealing, homer nigra

What about those unfortunate enough to have their manhood injured? We know that unless they get repairs done, they cannot enter the church (Deuteronomy, Chapter 23). Now, Negro males have exceptionally large parts there. Perhaps these could be used for transplants.

[True Disciple]

Re: Stoning As Capital Punishment

Idi Amin, humanitarian
Recipient of brain transplant. Donor was believed to be Adolph Hitler.

Robert Mugabe, economist
Another brain transplant recipient. Donor was Chicago School economist Milton Friedman.

Clarence Thomas, porn star
Recipient of tallywacker transplant.

Nino Brown, businessman (pharmaceuticals)
No actual transplant, but had numerous gold chains and other pieces of gold jewelry permanently grafted to his skin.

You can't imagine how proud it makes me feel to know that my company has been contributing to racial harmony by helping these upstanding members of the black community. They will no doubt serve as roll models to negro youth everywhere.

Uh...Brother, I am suddenly worried.

At what point in their lives exactly did those people receive their transplants? Because, you see, all of your donors seem to be white jewish persons, and if they received their transplants early in their life, then it might explain the elusive mystery as to how negroes can suddenly be intelligent and successful nowadays, while every white person knows that the Hamite race is considerably less blessed with mental capacities than Caucasian people are.
I mean, it is inadvisable to transplant organs of black people into white people, but the other way around may be inadvisable as well, as the donors you mentioned are among the most uppity negroes the world has known, displaying an extraordinary mastery of True Caucasian(tm) characteristics, like intelligence, ambition, morality etc. Could this be the result of those transplants? I mean, it is a really Godly and profitable business, of course, but we don't really want more uppity negroes than we already have in this world, do we?

[Free Market Fred]

Re: Stoning As Capital Punishment

Oh, but we don't have to use them ourselves. There are some very rich negroes around

Excellent point, Brother True! Indeed, we have already supplied organs to some famous wealthy black clients. Among the more notable ones:


Idi Amin, humanitarian
Recipient of brain transplant. Donor was believed to be Adolph Hitler.


Robert Mugabe, economist
Another brain transplant recipient. Donor was Chicago School economist Milton Friedman.


Clarence Thomas, porn star
Recipient of tallywacker transplant.


Nino Brown, businessman (pharmaceuticals)
No actual transplant, but had numerous gold chains and other pieces of gold jewelry permanently grafted to his skin.

You can't imagine how proud it makes me feel to know that my company has been contributing to racial harmony by helping these upstanding members of the black community. They will no doubt serve as roll models to negro youth everywhere.

[True Disciple]

Re: Stoning As Capital Punishment

I think harvesting organs from condemned criminals has merits as a lucrative business opportunity, but I'll be frank on this issue. I don't know if I would be comfortable having a kidney from some homosexual thief in me. Especially if they were a negro. Are negro kidneys even compatible with white kidneys?

Oh, but we don't have to use them ourselves. There are some very rich negroes around (Oh, the blasphemy!), and they won't have a problem buying organs from other negroes, I think. We ourselves don't really need those organs, as we are kept healthy by prayer.

[Mervyn Kohl Duggar]

Re: Stoning As Capital Punishment

Now I am confused my brothers. A month ago I had asked if I should stone my ex-fiancee and was advised that we must obey secular law. Now there seems to be a shift in opinion. Should I reunite with my ex-fiancee and gather the elders of my community and arrange a stoning now?

God Bless You,
Mervyn Kohl Duggar

[James Hutchins]

Re: Stoning As Capital Punishment

Gentlemen, I think you are missing a key point. An organ must be viable, that mean able to work and function. God knows, that alone excludes ever organ from a lay about, shuffle footed, pie stealing, homer nigra

[Buford T Scoggins]

Re: Stoning As Capital Punishment

I think more medical research needs to be done on this. 99% of criminals who would get stoned are minorities, and I'm pretty sure none of their organs will work in a white person's.

Amen, Rev. Jim! Last thing I would want is a negro's heart in my chest. If I ever got a heart transplant and the donor was a negro, no doubt I'd soon start talking jive, steal handbags from old ladies, snort crack, plus my tallywacker would grow to a ridiculous size.

Another thing I'm worried about are them stem cells. I'm sure that Obama's death panels wants to inject white people with stem cells to create more homos for gay marriage - that way, we white Americans won't reproduce and Kenya gets to take over the world!

You betcha' that ACORN is behind all this.

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Re: Stoning As Capital Punishment

I think harvesting organs from condemned criminals has merits as a lucrative business opportunity, but I'll be frank on this issue. I don't know if I would be comfortable having a kidney from some homosexual thief in me. Especially if they were a negro. Are negro kidneys even compatible with white kidneys?

I think more medical research needs to be done on this. 99% of criminals who would get stoned are minorities, and I'm pretty sure none of their organs will work in a white person's.

Then again, I heard about some kid who got a baboon heart, so I'm sure some smart Jew doctor might be able to make it happen.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Stoning As Capital Punishment

Free Market Fred--I agree with you--markets and banks should not be regulated in any way by government. The only legitimate regulator is God. And God is REALLY mad about the charging of interest. I'm in politcs and making lots of money. I do business only in hard cash with no interest received or charged because it is more Christian.

[Free Market Fred]

Re: Stoning As Capital Punishment

Today's economic crisis started in the banks. Banks charge interest. Surely, then, the crisis is God's punishment for usury.
But, receivers and payers of interest, while sentenced to run-of-the-mill death, seem also to get a pass from stoning. This is a mystery to me. Can someone explain?

Erh, look - the economic crisis had nothing to do with our righteous banks. The reason for the collapse is that liberal Democrats like Jimmy Carter and Bill Clinton forced the banks to give loans to negroes. And once we started giving loans to negroes, we felt it was our duty to continuing giving high-interest subprime loans to all unqualified people, as well as to trick people who qualified for low-interest prime loans into taking out rip-off subprime loans. Then we invented even more ridiculous Option-ARM Loans. Then we even persuaded people to take out "home equity loans" (second mortgages) using their overvalued home (that the bank actually owns) as collateral. And then we took all the crappy loans and bundled them into worthless mortgage-backed securities, got them rated AAA by Moody's, and sold them to suckers investors, and we even gave loans to the investors to buy the worthless securities, thereby leveraging a bad investment 10:1. And then, since they were crap investments anyway, we sold insurance called "credit default swaps" to anyone (even those who had no insurable interest, but wanted to make money off the defaults they knew were coming). And then when the insurance companies like AIG went bankrupt trying to pay off these bad bets, we got the taxpayers to buy AIG and bail them out. As as real estate prices collapsed and all our loans went sour, we got another big bailout by unloading the junk loans onto Phony & Frauddie Fanny & Freddie, which too went bust and got taken over by the US government (ie taxpayers).

And since all of the above are now leveraged 100:1, the losses are about 10 times the size of the world economy!

I really don't know how you can say the banks are to blame for the depression. Indeed, our profits have never been better! It's the US government (ie taxpayers) that's going broke, but that's not our problem - no one said they had to be so stupid to take over our bad debts. None of this would have been possible without deregulation, so whose fault was that? So really, the collapse was all the fault of the regulators and congressmen we bought (and the idiots who elected them).

So to summarize, it's the government's fault. In other words, evil socialism! I hope you now understand.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Stoning As Capital Punishment

Talk about money making oportunities, how about giving "style points" to stone throwers--like hitting the guilty party with behind-the-back tosses, hooks shots, or throwing left and right simoultaneously. Then ESPN could hold a Stone Throwing Derby, like the dunk shot and home run derbies where there are judges, crowd favorites, etc. Some potential it seems.

[TC Patriot]

Re: Stoning As Capital Punishment

That's the magic of the marketplace as Ronald Reagan used to say.

By the way, I got thinking more about harvesting organs from the bodies of criminals executed by stoning. Burying them up to their waists preserves most of the transplantable organs like the stomach, liver, kidneys and intestines. However, there are several lucrative organs in the upper body that are vulnerable to stone damage: that would include corneas, heart and lungs..

Talking it over with my tech people, I think we've got at least a partial solution. We can easily remove the corneas before the stoning, and probably one lung, as those aren't necessary for life. Sure hate to lose the other lung, but the heart is especially marketable. So we're looking into the possibility of removing it and hooking the "patient" to an artificial heart/lung machine like used in surgery.



There's no doubt this could keep the criminal alive for a few hours until the execution, but it's kind of tricky. We'd have to hide the machine in an underground chamber, since the audience and stoners would be turned off if they saw it (plus, it could damaged by the stones). We certainly wouldn't want the machine to ruin the entertainment value of these executions - that would sadden the audience, and potentially jeopardize ticket sales.

But I have a lot of confidence in my tech people - they've performed some real miracles in the past. I'm praying for their success in this endeavor, to deliver Christian love, entertainment, and generate great profits. You can't imagine how proud my company is to be doing the Lord's work.

I loved the way Reagan thought although he was a bit too left at times.

Our medical system which is the best in the world and the most profitable is now 17% of the US GDP. Praise Jesus!

Because doctors are human, the letters MD does not mean Me Diety although doctor are Christlike in their ability to heal, they still make errors. Because of free market principles that are allowed in our Godly medical industry even medical errors are highly profitable. In 2003 medical errors accounted in only 400 billion in extra revenue but today that number is over one trillion. The Christian part is the best part. God is using our health care system as an instrument to inflict suffering on bad people. The libs like to whine and complain that medical errors are the leading cause of death and injury in the US. I won't argue the point because they are correct but every one of these deaths and injuries is one of God's righteous judgments. Clearly God is smiling down on the health care industry.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Stoning As Capital Punishment

Pastor Ezekiel provided a scholarly review the the infractions that require stoning. He noted that sodomites received a pass, though we know them to be today's top drawer sinners.
It's my belief that the most common sin today, and the one that seems VERY high in the ranking of sins in KJV 1611, is usury, i. e., interest. In my signature you can note that usury will cause the LORD to empty the world of its inhabitants. Today's economic crisis started in the banks. Banks charge interest. Surely, then, the crisis is God's punishment for usury.
But, receivers and payers of interest, while sentenced to run-of-the-mill death, seem also to get a pass from stoning. This is a mystery to me. Can someone explain?

[Free Market Fred]

Re: Stoning As Capital Punishment

I greatly admire your economic mind, Brother! As for the heart/lung machine, wouldn't this be expensive to purchase just for this purpose?

Hi Brother True,

I understand your concern about the cost of these machines. They are certainly very expensive in America. Fortunately, they are now made in China for not much more than the cost of a laptop computer. Indeed, we recycle old computer parts and toxic wastes from landfills in order to construct these heart/lung machines, which we then export to America. They seem to work well enough so that we can collect the patient's health insurance money, before he or she drops dead a few weeks later from lead poisoning, cancer or liver failure.


Parts Department at our factory in China

In short, they are now very cost effective devices. Unfortunately, these Chinese-made heart/lung machines are banned in the EU, Australia, New Zealand, Canada, and in fact in China itself, but exports to America remain strong.

[empacae]

Re: Stoning As Capital Punishment

I know if I were up on a capitol offence I would demand to be stoned to death. It would be a pleasure to die like so many Chistian martyrs have in the past.

emp