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Greetings fellow Christians!
My black ops people are always cruising the Internet, looking for good ideas to smear liberals and distract the American public with disinformation so that the pitchfork brigade loses sight of who is really screwing them. Occasionally, some uppity liberal starts talking sense on his or her blog and attracts a big audience, in which case we usually come up with a sex scandal, at times hacking into the blogger's computer and planting kiddie porn and then sending the SWAT team in to break down his door and haul away the computer as evidence.
Anyway, we've thought of taking out this guy James Kunstler on kunstler.com, except that his Monday Clusterf*ck Nation blog often gives us some great ideas. This week he was talking about murder victim Little Caylee, who as ya'll know has been the central them of our Fox Channel Nancy Grace Rabid Attack Dog "news" program for the past three years. Nancy has been demonizing Casey Anthony (Little Caylee's mother) to the point that 50% of Americans think that Obama conspired with Anthony to sacrifice Little Caylee in some kind of Satanic ritual. Meanwhile, me and my friends made off with trillions of dollars in taxpayer-funded bailouts and the American public hardly noticed.
Nancy Grace, avenging angel
Casey Anthony: "Obama made her do it."
Anyway, Kunstler made this post today entitled America's Sweetheart, in which he noticed that the hate campaign against Casey Anthony has gone 24/7, and that our tool Nancy Grace might just be a more likely candidate than Michelle Bachmann for president. I admit, that idea has some potential, but the problem with Nancy Grace is that unlike Michelle Bachmann, she has an IQ over 40 and, as a former prosecutor, she might start thinking she should use her powers to go after the Wall Street Big Boys who would put her into power.
But further down on Kunstler's post are comments by readers, and there was one that really got my black ops people excited:
Perhaps Nancy Grace could go into the not-for-profit world with a vengeance by starting a new religion in which the swamp where little Caylee was dumped would be developed into a massive shrine where the faithful could come in pilgrimage to deposit their little teddy bears and bouquets of flowers. Casey could be demonized as the anti-BVM and Nancy could be the Mother Angelica of the new cult. Then religious entrepreneurs could develop and entire strip of support activities along the road there kind of like the hotels and restaurants outside of the Lourdes Shrine in France. Scum-bags of all descriptions could go there to pray to Caylee's soul for a spontaneous remission of their bad tattoos. Then George Anthony would have a place to go to have his bad tattoo miraculously removed, that is if the pilgrims didn't take umbrage and stone him like the pilgrims to Mecca ritualistically stone the devil.
OK, maybe we don't want to quite make Little Caylee into a religion, but we can certainly milk this market for all it's worth. We're definitely working with Anthony on a multi-million dollar book and movie deal, but that's only the beginning. It occurs to me that we could run Little Caylee for president. I mean, who would not vote for that cute little girl? The fact that she's in Heaven should not be an obstacle - after all, when George Bush was president, he was almost never in Washington, preferring to play golf and ride around in a pickup truck on his Texas dude ranch with a chainsaw pretending he was going to "clear brush" in front of adoring Fox News reporters.
Little Caylee, America's next Republican president
My PR people have been working on Little Caylee's political platform. She's in favor of small government, privatization, deregulation of Wall Street, tax cuts for the rich, mandatory home schooling, anti-abortion, declaring Christianity the State Religion, increased military spending, and a zero-tolerance approach to crime. I personally think that Little Caylee could be the greatest president yet in our nation's history.
My black ops people are always cruising the Internet, looking for good ideas to smear liberals and distract the American public with disinformation so that the pitchfork brigade loses sight of who is really screwing them. Occasionally, some uppity liberal starts talking sense on his or her blog and attracts a big audience, in which case we usually come up with a sex scandal, at times hacking into the blogger's computer and planting kiddie porn and then sending the SWAT team in to break down his door and haul away the computer as evidence.
Anyway, we've thought of taking out this guy James Kunstler on kunstler.com, except that his Monday Clusterf*ck Nation blog often gives us some great ideas. This week he was talking about murder victim Little Caylee, who as ya'll know has been the central them of our Fox Channel Nancy Grace Rabid Attack Dog "news" program for the past three years. Nancy has been demonizing Casey Anthony (Little Caylee's mother) to the point that 50% of Americans think that Obama conspired with Anthony to sacrifice Little Caylee in some kind of Satanic ritual. Meanwhile, me and my friends made off with trillions of dollars in taxpayer-funded bailouts and the American public hardly noticed.
Nancy Grace, avenging angel
Casey Anthony: "Obama made her do it."
Anyway, Kunstler made this post today entitled America's Sweetheart, in which he noticed that the hate campaign against Casey Anthony has gone 24/7, and that our tool Nancy Grace might just be a more likely candidate than Michelle Bachmann for president. I admit, that idea has some potential, but the problem with Nancy Grace is that unlike Michelle Bachmann, she has an IQ over 40 and, as a former prosecutor, she might start thinking she should use her powers to go after the Wall Street Big Boys who would put her into power.
But further down on Kunstler's post are comments by readers, and there was one that really got my black ops people excited:
Perhaps Nancy Grace could go into the not-for-profit world with a vengeance by starting a new religion in which the swamp where little Caylee was dumped would be developed into a massive shrine where the faithful could come in pilgrimage to deposit their little teddy bears and bouquets of flowers. Casey could be demonized as the anti-BVM and Nancy could be the Mother Angelica of the new cult. Then religious entrepreneurs could develop and entire strip of support activities along the road there kind of like the hotels and restaurants outside of the Lourdes Shrine in France. Scum-bags of all descriptions could go there to pray to Caylee's soul for a spontaneous remission of their bad tattoos. Then George Anthony would have a place to go to have his bad tattoo miraculously removed, that is if the pilgrims didn't take umbrage and stone him like the pilgrims to Mecca ritualistically stone the devil.
OK, maybe we don't want to quite make Little Caylee into a religion, but we can certainly milk this market for all it's worth. We're definitely working with Anthony on a multi-million dollar book and movie deal, but that's only the beginning. It occurs to me that we could run Little Caylee for president. I mean, who would not vote for that cute little girl? The fact that she's in Heaven should not be an obstacle - after all, when George Bush was president, he was almost never in Washington, preferring to play golf and ride around in a pickup truck on his Texas dude ranch with a chainsaw pretending he was going to "clear brush" in front of adoring Fox News reporters.
Little Caylee, America's next Republican president
My PR people have been working on Little Caylee's political platform. She's in favor of small government, privatization, deregulation of Wall Street, tax cuts for the rich, mandatory home schooling, anti-abortion, declaring Christianity the State Religion, increased military spending, and a zero-tolerance approach to crime. I personally think that Little Caylee could be the greatest president yet in our nation's history.