Welcome to HALLOWEEN = HELLOWEEN

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Welcome to HALLOWEEN = HELLOWEEN

My two teenagers just borrowed a couple of large kitchen knives, and now they're over in my neighbor's pumpkin patch with a wheelbarrow.
Should I be concerned?
Usually at this time of year they're just out with their weapons "practicing" for hunting season, harmless fun; But I'm not sure what to make of this wheelbarrow/knife thing. Some new teenage fad?

That all depends. Are your neighbors queers, joos or nigras?

Maybe the boys just want to have some fun...

[Chezund Rice]

Re: Welcome to HALLOWEEN = HELLOWEEN

My two teenagers just borrowed a couple of large kitchen knives, and now they're over in my neighbor's pumpkin patch with a wheelbarrow.
Should I be concerned?
Usually at this time of year they're just out with their weapons "practicing" for hunting season, harmless fun; But I'm not sure what to make of this wheelbarrow/knife thing. Some new teenage fad?

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Welcome to HALLOWEEN = HELLOWEEN

He's a self-confessed homer. Apparently he kidnaps small children every halloween and keeps them in his basement to sodomize at his liesure.

That'd explain why he reads Catholic literature.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Welcome to HALLOWEEN = HELLOWEEN

That's a satisfactory start, but who are you?
Please say hello in the introduction Forum where you are sure to get a friendly greeting

He's a self-confessed homer. Apparently he kidnaps small children every halloween and keeps them in his basement to sodomize at his liesure.

Yet another reason NOT to allow your children to celebrate satan's birthday.

[Talitha]

Re: Welcome to HALLOWEEN = HELLOWEEN

Dear Pastor Pistle

As my septic tank backs up into my basement every week, I took the opportunity to transform the whole thing into a replica of Dante's 5th circle of hell, complete with the sewer water of the river Styx where the slothful lie gurgling beneath the sludge. A trap door on my front stoop, and a simple slide sends Jehovah's witnesses, Mormons, and Democratic campaign volunteers rocketing into an example of the eternal abyss that surely awaits them.

Now that Helloween is fast approaching, I'm fully anticipating a basement engorged with the high pitched squeals of Power Rangers, Shreks, Spider Men, and other such Satanic spawn.

This will be way more fun that the fully charged tasers that Landover Baptist hands out every 31st of October.



unsaved trash,
tryork5ifp

That's a satisfactory start, but who are you?
Please say hello in the introduction Forum where you are sure to get a friendly greeting

[tryork5ifp]

Re: Welcome to HALLOWEEN = HELLOWEEN

Dear Pastor Pistle

As my septic tank backs up into my basement every week, I took the opportunity to transform the whole thing into a replica of Dante's 5th circle of hell, complete with the sewer water of the river Styx where the slothful lie gurgling beneath the sludge. A trap door on my front stoop, and a simple slide sends Jehovah's witnesses, Mormons, and Democratic campaign volunteers rocketing into an example of the eternal abyss that surely awaits them.

Now that Helloween is fast approaching, I'm fully anticipating a basement engorged with the high pitched squeals of Power Rangers, Shreks, Spider Men, and other such Satanic spawn.

This will be way more fun that the fully charged tasers that Landover Baptist hands out every 31st of October.



unsaved trash,
tryork5ifp

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Welcome to HALLOWEEN = HELLOWEEN

HELLoween makes me want puke!

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Welcome to HALLOWEEN = HELLOWEEN

Because they are made by Apple, a satanic reference to the forbidden fruit.

Apple is headquartered near San Fransissyco so we don't have to state the obvious why they chose a "fruite" as a symbol.

As Pastor Al said, it is short step for Little Jimmy from sticking an ear phone into his ear to Little Jimmy down on skid row letting bums stick their tallywackers into little Jimmy to feed Little Jimmy's crack habit.

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Welcome to HALLOWEEN = HELLOWEEN

Umm... why are ipods considered evil?

Because they are made by Apple, a satanic reference to the forbidden fruit.

OK, actually it is because they teach children to stick things in orifices they shouldn't stick things in. Ipods are a gateway sex toy to homerism.

[Sister Shadow]

Re: Welcome to HALLOWEEN = HELLOWEEN

...and folks who use ipods.

Umm... why are ipods considered evil?

[SUV]

Re: Welcome to HALLOWEEN = HELLOWEEN

I'm Afraid, Mother Glynndie, in fact, I'm terrified of those ipod Homer!s!

So it okay if I just yell a quick Repent! and go get on with the CHRISTMAS Season?

Last week to pay into Christmas Club at the Bank, you know!

[Glendora Christianson]

The next few weeks will test Jesus' strength as Satan celebrates his birthday, but I'm sure with our help, Jesus will prevail. Be on the lookout for elevated activities amongst Witches, Wiccas, Emos, Goths, Homers, and folks who use ipods.

PS I forgot about Demoncrats, Wal-Mart (for selling Helloween paraphernalia) and Metallica fans, etc...