[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

Is there any particular reason you searched for a thread about m*st*rbation that's been dead for over two years?

[Jay84722]

Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

The stuff I've seen you spreading has nothing to do with God's Truth.

Thank you .

[Jay84722]

Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

Hey, Mr. Smith

God decides if you were damned or saved before you were born.
And by the looks of it, you deserve to bob in lava, you filthy, unsaved maggot.

You disgust me. ALL have fallen short of the glory of God including you. No sin is irredeemable.

[JennyD]

Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

If you ban me, God will see that you are preventing the spreading of knowledge of His True Relgion.

The stuff I've seen you spreading has nothing to do with God's Truth.

[Caucasian_Minister]

Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

That's not Jesus, and the call is coming from INSIDE the house!

How dare you relate Jesus, the sin of Onan, and low budget, Hellywood crap productions.

If you ban me, God will see that you are preventing the spreading of knowledge of His True Relgion.

SISTER! We, as people of God, need to bond together.

[JennyD]

Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

Ok, he is the lord of lords, so that gives him the right to peep through peoples windows? Ok, he's watching me masturbate, but is the camera really necessary?

That's not Jesus, and the call is coming from INSIDE the house!

Hey, Mr. Smith

God decides if you were damned or saved before you were born.
And by the looks of it, you deserve to bob in lava, you filthy, unsaved maggot.

Brother Smith opens up, revealing his vulnerabilities, and shares a touching story of his troubled youth, and all you can do is insult him. Yet you claim to be a "minister"?

Right.

Shall I ban you now, or ban you later?

[Caucasian_Minister]

Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

Glory, it's about time we had a thread dealing with this. Before I was saved, I masturbated up a storm.

Hey, Mr. Smith

God decides if you were damned or saved before you were born.
And by the looks of it, you deserve to bob in lava, you filthy, unsaved maggot.

[Ahimaaz Smith]

Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

Glory, it's about time we had a thread dealing with this. Before I was saved, I masturbated up a storm. Sometimes three, four, or five times a day (my record was seven, but that put me out of commission for about a week). Sometimes I'd even do a quick jerk before church and then a longer, slower toss off with a Playboy (1977 Playmate of the Year edition) on Sunday afternoon. Not only was I committing the sin of Onan, but I was also not keeping the Sabbath holy, so I was doubly damned! I remember one blustry autumn Sunday afternoon, Brother Nobar and I were out in the Landover Cemetary, and... well, maybe that's a story best left untold.

Now that Jesus has come into my life, I no longer feel the urges to do all the nasty sex things that I enjoyed so much before, including masturbating. I have more free time, I'm less sleepy, I'm saving on Kleenex. Any way you look at it, turining your life over to Jesus instead of your penis gives you a life worth living. Rosie Palm and her five siblings are officially retired, and I've turned to more wholesome reading material.

[Caucasian_Minister]

Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

I agree with drunken aussie pervert. if Jesus is watching me masturbate, shouldn't he be locked up?

You are the one that should be locked up, and sent to roast forver in the fiery lakes of hell.
Touching yourself and trying to feel sensual pleasure of which is not directed towards the Lord is a sin.


You are horrid for thinking otherwise.

Praise Jesus.

[thankful]

Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

In that case, it's probably not Jesus. It might be the U.S. Department of Faith collecting evidence to show to Jesus when the rapture happens.

[unsaved and dim]

Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

Ok, he is the lord of lords, so that gives him the right to peep through peoples windows? Ok, he's watching me masturbate, but is the camera really necessary?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

I agree with drunken aussie pervert. if Jesus is watching me masturbate, shouldn't he be locked up?

He is the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords. I'd like to see you try and arrest Him, maggot.

[unsaved and dim]

Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

I agree with drunken aussie pervert. if Jesus is watching me masturbate, shouldn't he be locked up?

[bluefire]

Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

Awww! I love the angry scottish one! He's awesome!! Hehehe...

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

An Independant Baptist Church out in Ohio (I think) uses this video at their young men's Christian Circle. It seems pretty good.