Metaphors in the Bible?

[narrowpathy]

Re: Metaphors in the Bible

When you read a book, do you have to call the author and ask which bits are metaphors? When you have a conversation with somebody, do you have to ask them to stop and explain how much of what they just said was metaphor?

Use your head. If God didn't want you to use your brain, he wouldn't have given you one.

Oh, the Un-Godly one,
I do use my head, I just had some coffee with milk and I am looking at the screen and I hear some sounds in the cafe, and breathe in air with my nose and I breathe out, too. I spoke about fifteen minutes ago and I will use my head to eat something for lunch.
As for my brain, I read that human brain is to make some fluids called secrets... but again it's what those scientists say, I don't know what the Bible say about those secrets.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Metaphors in the Bible

Can somebody please tell me how to use male nipples before Jesus gets angry?

Jesus is already annoyed that you keep asking these ridiculous questions. I mean, what kind of a man worries about his nipples? Are you a queer or something?

[narrowpathy]

Re: Metaphors in the Bible

Please forgive my impatience, but is my question so hard to answer?

[narrowpathy]

Re: Metaphors in the Bible

Can somebody please tell me how to use male nipples before Jesus gets angry?

[narrowpathy]

Re: Metaphors in the Bible

God gave you freewill Narrowpathy. It's your' choice whether to debauch yourself or listen to God and behave with some decency.

1 Corinthians 6:19
Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God?

I don't know about you oh Brother, but MY nipples are part and parcel of a temple of the Holy Spirit. You cannot say that ising some part of the temple is debauching myself. Now, how am I supposed to use that part called nipples?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Metaphors in the Bible

You make me confused, oh Brother! Do you want to say that God gave me tools to debauch myself? Why would He do that? So, I would feel guilty and tithe more?

You are confused, obviously. Why would you limit God's majesty to simple parlour tricks? He can (and does) do anything He likes, and much more than you can imagine.

God shall send them strong delusion, that they should believe a lie: That they all might be damned.--2 Th.2:11-12

I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.--Isaiah 45:7

Do you truly imagine that God Almighty would shrink from tempting you with nipples?

You don't give Him enough credit, oh ye of little faith.

Just keep your hands on your Bible.

[narrowpathy]

Re: Metaphors in the Bible

God gave you freewill Narrowpathy. It's your' choice whether to debauch yourself or listen to God and behave with some decency.

You make me confused, oh Brother! Do you want to say that God gave me tools to debauch myself? Why would He do that? So, I would feel guilty and tithe more?

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Metaphors in the Bible

On the other hand, God gave me nipples, and I don't use them. Does God want me to use my nipples? Surely, God wouldn't give me something useless. However, how can a man use his nipples? Please help me, I do not want to anger God!

God gave you freewill Narrowpathy. It's your' choice whether to debauch yourself or listen to God and behave with some decency.

[narrowpathy]

Re: Metaphors in the Bible

When you read a book, do you have to call the author and ask which bits are metaphors? When you have a conversation with somebody, do you have to ask them to stop and explain how much of what they just said was metaphor?

Use your head. If God didn't want you to use your brain, he wouldn't have given you one.

On the other hand, God gave me nipples, and I don't use them. Does God want me to use my nipples? Surely, God wouldn't give me something useless. However, how can a man use his nipples? Please help me, I do not want to anger God!

[narrowpathy]

Re: Metaphors in the Bible

When you read a book, do you have to call the author and ask which bits are metaphors? When you have a conversation with somebody, do you have to ask them to stop and explain how much of what they just said was metaphor?

Use your head. If God didn't want you to use your brain, he wouldn't have given you one.

Is it possible not to use one's brain? Eyes see food, and they send the info to your brain and if the food isn't spoiled good and it's been long since you had your last meal, then you feel hungry, and the brain sends the command to hands to pick up the food and put it in your mouth... A somewhat simplified example, but I hope it sufficiently demonstrates that it isn't possible not to use one's brain... Unless you are in a coma. Then it should be different

[One-eyed Jack]

Re: Metaphors in the Bible

Let us test our Bible knowledge. Which of these passages is metaphorical? And, for bonus points, what does the metaphor mean?

1. Wherefore my bowels shall sound like an harp for Moab, and mine inward parts for Kirharesh. Isaiah 16:11

2. For the king of Babylon stood at the parting of the way, at the head of the two ways, to use divination: he made his arrows bright, he consulted with images, he looked in the liver. Ezekiel 21:21

3. But Rabshakeh said unto them, Hath my master sent me to thy master, and to thee, to speak these words? hath he not sent me to the men which sit on the wall, that they may eat their own dung, and drink their own piss with you? 2 Kings 18:27

Praise ye the Lord.

~~ OEJ

[Sacha-DG]

Re: Metaphors in the Bible

So, how do you (un-saved, hell-bound, God-hating) folks decide what passages from the Bible are literal and what passages are mere metaphors?

When you read a book, do you have to call the author and ask which bits are metaphors? When you have a conversation with somebody, do you have to ask them to stop and explain how much of what they just said was metaphor?

Use your head. If God didn't want you to use your brain, he wouldn't have given you one.

[narrowpathy]

So, how do you (un-saved, hell-bound, God-hating) folks decide what passages from the Bible are literal and what passages are mere metaphors?