[Poetic Peter]

Re: Am I Going To Burn In Hell?

Why do animals not have souls? Ok Women have Souls and go to heaven just as frequently as men do! You are a sexist pig! If women were so unnecessary why are there women on earth? Females of any species are necessary for the survival of that species. If anything women are a more integral part of offspring than men are. Especially if you believe in this creationism bullshit, why didn't God make it so that men could reproduce by themselves (bees can do it its called parthenogenesis)

You must be a girl, "brother".

I missed the whole episode, am sorry for that.
Yes, clearly a woman.

Thanks for the link to that page.

Pastor Deacon Fred warned the congregation that there was no reason to be alarmed.
"Dr. Neiman's conclusions still need to be formalized," he assured.
"I am certain that our team of religious experts will find some way around these Scriptures."

Some of the women present were visibly shaken by the report.
A teary eyed Sister Taffy Crockett said through choked sobs,
"I've heard of colored women not having souls... but me? NO!
This is outrageous!"

It's six years later now. Still no final word whether women have souls. Good.



Keep 'em guessing, keep 'em humble.

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Am I Going To Burn In Hell?

Goodness, I missed all the fun.

Yes, you did! Several homers attacked GOD and His Church and even His Messengers had to be sent away.

[OnYourKnees]

Re: Am I Going To Burn In Hell?

Goodness, I missed all the fun.

So King James has spoken with God? Well I find it a little hard to belive God would really just decide in 1611 to tell King James what the bible aught to be. And no I am not a woman, but I'm willing to bet that you are because you brought up gender. I'm also going to assume that you are an ugly woman who has no self esteem and gives herself gratification by trying to appear intelligent whe it is obvious that your IQ is -3.

Nobody here will ever accuse you of trying to appear intelligent.

How can cats be Christian? ANd how can this crazy church condone the keeping of cats... i mean in Ancient egypt Cats were the guardians of the Underworld... THat associates them with hell and i cannot believe that this church is ok with cats.

Apparently, you've never tasted Pastor Pistle's Kitty Krisps. Finger-lickin' good, smoked in the fire and brimstone of his sermons!

Why do animals not have souls? Ok Women have Souls and go to heaven just as frequently as men do! <pseudo-scientifical yammering removed>

Woman was made from a rib bone of Adam's. Do ribs have souls? Then how can women?

Take Mary Magdalene for example. The church altered the Bible to take her importance away. They called her a Whore, which was not true. She Was actually the desendant of about half of the Tribes of Israel. THat makes her of Royal Blood.

No, THAT makes her MOTHER a Whore. Or, worse, a Slut. After all, the Whores are smart enough to charge for it, but the Sluts just give it away!

So you are two demonic qweers sent to harass us? HA! The Lord shall turn your insides to water.

. . . and Imodium won't help!

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Am I Going To Burn In Hell?

Obviously the 'quarantine' button is not working. Let me try another one.

[Brother Phil (Quarantined)]

Re: Am I Going To Burn In Hell?

WOW have you ever heard of the freedom of choice? If we were in God's perfect will then everyone would be good.
No, God controls us all. He just chooses to make some people, for example you, sinful and backward so He can toss them into Hell, for reasons known only to Himself. That doesn't mean He can write a book, though. You dont have to assume god is incompetent to think that the KJV1611 is just as watered down as the NIV or anyother translation.

And I dont know if you can read... but mary wasnt a whore the councils made her seem like a whore to not be of any importance.
Yes, and I bet she had a child with Christ but that was covered up by the Templars, wasn't it?
Have you ever read harry potter?
No. I've never smoked crack either, and I don't intend to start now.

No actually my reference was not The Davinci Code...

In alot of World history and religious history books this claim is made. Other sourches of this information include "Holy Blood, Holy Grail" (which was a combined doctoral thesis of actual smart people) and Dan Brown Makes reference to this theory in THe Davinci Code. He also researches all of his claims very well.

[DAT21 (Quarantined)]

Re: Am I Going To Burn In Hell?

Yes, and I bet she had a child with Christ but that was covered up by the Templars, wasn't it?[/COLOR]
Have you ever read harry potter?
No. I've never smoked crack either, and I don't intend to start now.

Well now this comment seems like someone either knows the history of The Da Vinci Code, or you read it. Brother, are you being naughty and reading secular books? Because that would be highly hypocritical. As for smoking crack, well are you sure? Because the way you were framing you arguments earlier, it looked like you had just gotten off of the pipe.

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Am I Going To Burn In Hell?

I know, it was lame, but I stopped caring about ten minutes ago. If you like I will raise the standard of my comebacks.

first you must raise your IQ. Maybe you should go out in the sun and let your brain warm up, eh Rocky?

[DAT21 (Quarantined)]

Re: Am I Going To Burn In Hell?

Ummm.....not to be rude but I think you might have lost the right to criticize anyone else's comebacks, right there.

I know, it was lame, but I stopped caring about ten minutes ago. If you like I will raise the standard of my comebacks.

[Brother Phil (Quarantined)]

Re: Am I Going To Burn In Hell?

I am sorry! My bad! Making fun of the handicapped is wrong.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Am I Going To Burn In Hell?

WOW have you ever heard of the freedom of choice? If we were in God's perfect will then everyone would be good.
No, God controls us all. He just chooses to make some people, for example you, sinful and backward so He can toss them into Hell, for reasons known only to Himself. That doesn't mean He can write a book, though. You dont have to assume god is incompetent to think that the KJV1611 is just as watered down as the NIV or anyother translation.

And I dont know if you can read... but mary wasnt a whore the councils made her seem like a whore to not be of any importance.
Yes, and I bet she had a child with Christ but that was covered up by the Templars, wasn't it?
Have you ever read harry potter?
No. I've never smoked crack either, and I don't intend to start now.

[DAT21 (Quarantined)]

Re: Am I Going To Burn In Hell?

WOW have you ever heard of the freedom of choice? If we were in God's perfect will then everyone would be good. You dont have to assume god is incompetent to think that the KJV1611 is just as watered down as the NIV or anyother translation.

And I dont know if you can read... but mary wasnt a whore the councils made her seem like a whore to not be of any importance.

Have you ever read harry potter?

Brother Phil, I'm highly disappointed. Do you think someone with the intelligence level of Brother Temperance has the mental ability to read a book as advanced as Harry Potter? We shouldn't make fun of him for his handicap. We should make fun of him, but not for his handicap.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Am I Going To Burn In Hell?

It's funny that you mention mom's because yours told me that last night.

Ummm.....not to be rude but I think you might have lost the right to criticize anyone else's comebacks, right there.

[DAT21 (Quarantined)]

Re: Am I Going To Burn In Hell?

So you are two demonic qweers sent to harass us? HA! The Lord shall turn your insides to water.

Actually this is the Archangel Michael, I come to tell you that God is very displeased. He will smite you at the first opportunity. By the way, it's spelled "queers" dumbass.

[Brother Phil (Quarantined)]

Re: Am I Going To Burn In Hell?

Great, so the fact that her mother slept around with every JOO she could find makes her holy, does it? Where do you get this stuff from, Harry Potter?

WOW have you ever heard of the freedom of choice? If we were in God's perfect will then everyone would be good. You dont have to assume god is incompetent to think that the KJV1611 is just as watered down as the NIV or anyother translation.

And I dont know if you can read... but mary wasnt a whore the councils made her seem like a whore to not be of any importance.

Have you ever read harry potter?

[DAT21 (Quarantined)]

Re: Am I Going To Burn In Hell?

Great, so the fact that her mother slept around with every JOO she could find makes her holy, does it? Where do you get this stuff from, Harry Potter?

It's funny that you mention mom's because yours told me that last night.