Christian Girls' Abstinence Chart

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Christian Girls' Abstinence Chart

So you do have sex with feet, then?

[Larry Lee]

Re: Christian Girls' Abstinence Chart

So...er.....you're saying you have sex with feet? And with knees? And with the belly button? Oh...my....

Your incantations have no power here, Witch! Be Gone, in Jesus precious name.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Christian Girls' Abstinence Chart

So...er.....you're saying you have sex with feet? And with knees? And with the belly button? Oh...my....

[John Bois Ward]

Re: Christian Girls' Abstinence Chart

Ok, so do the green arrows represent the 12 inch distance between the male and gal then? The chart needs some work if that's the case.

In your case, I'm sure 12" would be more than enough.

[Nobar King]

Re: Christian Girls' Abstinence Chart

Ok, so do the green arrows represent the 12 inch distance between the male and gal then? The chart needs some work if that's the case.

Are you dense, boy? (That's a rhetorical question).

[PizzaPizza]

Re: Christian Girls' Abstinence Chart

I believe the distance is somewhat greater for our ex-Negro teens, Brother Larry.

Yes, Brother Larry, it's quite clear that our loving teenage boys and girls often spend their summer evenings saddlebacking for their fathers.

How thoughtful of them!

Ok, so do the green arrows represent the 12 inch distance between the male and gal then? The chart needs some work if that's the case.

[JennyD]

Re: Christian Girls' Abstinence Chart

Hardly.

A girl's and Christian guy's vow of purity is easily maintained by the twelve inches of separation between them, which our youth pastors and chaperones enforce during Church-sanctioned youth group meetings, outings and affairs.

I believe the distance is somewhat greater for our ex-Negro teens, Brother Larry.

When I mentioned "saddlebacking" in my previous post, what I was referring to is the saddleback caterpillar, which is a serious pest of corn.

Quite often, our Red State farm kids will help out their fathers by stopping by the fields to insect the corn for the presence of this much-feared pest. Oddly -- but you know how young people are! -- they often perform this service for their fathers (and the neighbors and even complete strangers) at dusk and on the weekends.

I hope this clears up my meaning.

Yes, Brother Larry, it's quite clear that our loving teenage boys and girls often spend their summer evenings saddlebacking for their fathers.

How thoughtful of them!

[PizzaPizza]

Re: Christian Girls' Abstinence Chart

The chart seems pretty clear to me.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Christian Girls' Abstinence Chart

I would also like to add a side point on to Brother Larry's Godly explanation. It has been asked "Well why don't we just marry the little horn dogs off the minute their hormones pop and be done with it?" The answer is quite simply the young are prone to over indulgence. For the same reason we prohibit teenagers from drinking alcohol less they drink so much they become alcoholics we must prohibit them from marrying and having sexual intercourse until they are mature enough not to have so much sex they become gay.

The age of maturity should be around thirty so until then young people should abstain and remain virgins.

[Larry Lee]

Re: Christian Girls' Abstinence Chart

Oh dear. I fear that my previous post will be misunderstood by the Unsaved Trash, who so frequently attack our Holy Board with their ignorant and mean-spirited mocking of True Christianity....

When I mentioned "saddlebacking" in my previous post, what I was referring to is the saddleback caterpillar, which is a serious pest of corn.

Quite often, our Red State farm kids will help out their fathers by stopping by the fields to inspect the corn for the presence of this much-feared pest. Oddly -- but you know how young people are! -- they often perform this service for their fathers (and the neighbors and even complete strangers) at dusk and on the weekends.

I hope this clears up my meaning.

[Larry Lee]

Re: Christian Girls' Abstinence Chart

My apologies. What I had meant to say was:

So let's see....as long as the male and the gal's genetalia do not come close to each other and intercourse does not take place, it is perfectly appropriate for the hands, the mouth, or the genetalia of the male to be placed on any part of the female's person.

Hardly.

A girl's and Christian guy's vow of purity is easily maintained by the twelve inches of separation between them, which our youth pastors and chaperones enforce during Church-sanctioned youth group meetings, outings and affairs.

In fact, the young people's vows of purity are so strong and binding that, even when they are alone together and stopping on a remote county road to admire the deep cover of one of our Iowa corn fields, they know they must preserve their purity until the marriage bed. And so they do.

We countenance no prurience at Landover -- And those are the standards our young people uphold, even while saddlebacking.

Does that help?

[PizzaPizza]

Re: Christian Girls' Abstinence Chart

My apologies. What I had meant to say was:

So let's see....as long as the male and the gal's genetalia do not come close to each other and intercourse does not take place, it is perfectly appropriate for the hands,the mouth, or the genetalia of the male to be placed on any part of the female's person.

[PizzaPizza]

Re: Christian Girls' Abstinence Chart

So let's see now.....Blaspheming deleted just about any other area or part of the body are all approved, just as long as the censored does not approach or penetrate the deleted.

[Pastor Ezekiel]