[MoonFlower]

Re: Stern Master Seeks Humble Church Mouse

Gee Moonflower, you know I only have a modest little eight bedroom being a bachelor and all that. On the other hand you are (almost) real people so I suppose you could use my old colored servant's Jimmy P's room since he still in State for next five years for burning that Des Moines Catlicker church. (You have no problems with black velvet paintings, do you? Jimmy P was into those)

No uniform but I assume you have something to meet the Landover Standard code of Lady's dress?

Wow, just eight bedrooms BJ? That sucks. I don't mind living in Jimmy's old room (although it's gonna need a serious bleach cleaning before I sleep there). I don't think sun dresses are allowed in the code of Lady's attire, right? If not, BTB could always help me out there, she's got such great teaste in clothes.

Moon

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Stern Master Seeks Humble Church Mouse

Eeeew. Could that possibly be the cats' place? I tend to them very well, so the room will be cleaned three times daily. Do you happen to have anywhere inside I could sleep?? The couch is fine, but if you have a room that would be great BJ.

Moon

PS - Do I need a uniform of some sort, or no?

Gee Moonflower, you know I only have a modest little eight bedroom being a bachelor and all that. On the other hand you are (almost) real people so I suppose you could use my old colored servant's Jimmy P's room since he still in State for next five years for burning that Des Moines Catlicker church. (You have no problems with black velvet paintings, do you? Jimmy P was into those)

No uniform but I assume you have something to meet the Landover Standard code of Lady's dress?

[MoonFlower]

Re: Stern Master Seeks Humble Church Mouse

Well it's not like Juanita is going to need her room in their servant’s quarters behind the garage. But, you do know a Mexiskin lived in that room Moon? I mean suite yourself but what I wouldn't dream of forcing Pastor Al's granddaughter to live like that.

Eeeew. Could that possibly be the cats' place? I tend to them very well, so the room will be cleaned three times daily. Do you happen to have anywhere inside I could sleep?? The couch is fine, but if you have a room that would be great BJ.

Moon

PS - Do I need a uniform of some sort, or no?

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Stern Master Seeks Humble Church Mouse

PS - One question, is this a live-in position or do I return to my tree after dinner??

Well it's not like Juanita is going to need her room in their servant’s quarters behind the garage. But, you do know a Mexiskin lived in that room Moon? I mean suite yourself but what I wouldn't dream of forcing Pastor Al's granddaughter to live like that.

[MoonFlower]

Re: Stern Master Seeks Humble Church Mouse

DIET?! Who said anything about a DIET?! No BJ, Mood does not believe in diets, therefore you don't have to worry about any "sugar free" cookies or whatnot. So shall I come over tonight and get started with a yummy lamb dinner, dessert included??? Gosh I LOVE cooking and cleaning! You'll be so happy with me BJ, I just know it!

Moon

PS - One question, is this a live-in position or do I return to my tree after dinner??

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Stern Master Seeks Humble Church Mouse

YAY!

*hugs BJ*

Don't worry about losing weight BJ, Moon can cook you up yummy food that's not fattening at all. I have to be able to keep my youthful figure as well (if not, I won't get a husband), so all my cooking is healthy (but very yummy).

So when do I start??

Very anxious to work,
Moon

When you're ready. I'll call the Homeland Security and have Juanita arrested for accepting phone calls from the middle east. Staff turn overs are so much easier now.

Now mind you when you cook none of this "diet" nonsense. It is well known that Al Quida sticks chemicals into the diet stuff to render Christian men impotent. Like I said my animal worshiping Raghead doctor wants me to get my blood pressure down so I have to be careful about my diet.

[MoonFlower]

Re: Stern Master Seeks Humble Church Mouse

I guess so Moonflower, my previous cook has been burning the toast more and more so I guess it time to let her go. But go easy on the pie. MKL keep on complaining to us about you pestering him to always eat your pie and my doctor wants me to lose weight.

YAY!

*hugs BJ*

Don't worry about losing weight BJ, Moon can cook you up yummy food that's not fattening at all. I have to be able to keep my youthful figure as well (if not, I won't get a husband), so all my cooking is healthy (but very yummy).

So when do I start??

Very anxious to work,
Moon

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

What amazes me is that she wasn't prosecuted for murdering those babies and wanton lezbeanism.

For that, we can thank the unelected liberal activist justices, with their inverted moral values. It's a "constitutional right" to murder your precious unborn babies and commit lezbanianism, but you can be locked up for exercising what the Bible plainly says is your right to marital relations.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

I never did quite understand what all the commotion was about. His wife=his property.

I don't get that concept either. I recall THIS case in the communist "state" of Oregon, where a man was actually imprisoned for "going unto" his wife.

The wife Greta, 23, was a troubled woman. Her peccadilloes, admitted before trial, included extramarital affairs, two abortions (one for a child not her husband's), and a lesbian relationship (the last she later denied). She enjoys the publicity that has accompanied the prosecution of her husband, said Burt; according to witnesses, she announced that she is going to "be rich and famous" after signing a movie contract to tell her story. Before the trial Burt protested: "There are enough problems with the marital relationship without allowing one spouse to charge the other with a 20-year felony." Husband John, he later told the jury, "honestly believed that if you are married to a woman you have a right to sex."

What amazes me is that she wasn't prosecuted for murdering those babies and wanton lezbeanism.

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

I highly reccommend this Good Christian's approach. Nothing but sensible and perfectly in line with God's Plan™.

I never did quite understand what all the commotion was about. His wife=his property.

[Bobby-Joe]

Would you consider hiring me to do household chores? I know you loved the apple pie I made for you the other day, so you know I can cook. So what do you say? Would you hire me, BJ??

I guess so Moonflower, my previous cook has been burning the toast more and more so I guess it time to let her go. But go easy on the pie. MKL keep on complaining to us about you pestering him to always eat your pie and my doctor wants me to lose weight.

[Rev. Smitty McGee]

I highly reccommend this Good Christian's approach. Nothing but sensible and perfectly in line with God's Plan™.

[MoonFlower]

It would certainly make my life easier than you scaring the willies out of the good folks at Apostle's Grove when you ask them for stuff for that woodland retreat of your's. Mrs. Maple called security last night fifty times claiming the "Church of Satan is outside for her virtue" just because you knocked on her door last evening. I am going to have to send poor Security Officer Otis to the pastors for counseling since he is so shook up from listing to Maple go on for two about two hours about the “gang molestering” she was about to get from demons in the shape of Negros . That and that standard nightly calls from old Mrs. Porter about demons dancing in her backyard were you buried some dead possum lead to quite a night.

(Sigh) at lest it wasn’t like that night were Samuel Morrison shot up his Mexican servants because he though Moonflower asking his cook for a stick of butter was the signal for servants to rise up and kill Morrison’s family in their sleep.

Oh yes I remember! I dunno why everyone is so scared of me. You know I'm harmless BJ and no matter how many times any of you tell these people, they always freak out when they see me. You never get scared when I go over to your house and ask for some sugar. Why is it that no one could just accept that I mean no one any harm? I don't even dress like a goth! Besides, if I ever did do anything wrong, I'd have my Pa'Daddy to worry about and you know he scares me.

Would you consider hiring me to do household chores? I know you loved the apple pie I made for you the other day, so you know I can cook. So what do you say? Would you hire me, BJ??

Moon

PS - Remy, of course I told Pa'Daddy! He married us! It was such a beautiful wedding...too bad it didn't last. Maybe next time...

[Remy Lebeau]

Yea, you have me somewhat confused. I do NOT wear spandex or tank tops, I wear sun dresses. I usually frolick...not run. And I'm 25, not 19. But yes, Al did adopt me and I AM very lucky.

And at no time did I offer Mr. Hammer any of my so-called "used goods". I'm merely offering to help him around the house. God only knows what my Pa'daddy would do to me if I have intercouse while unwed...again.

Moon

Oh... Oh oh ohhhhhhh!!! You didn't tell Pastor Al who the guy was did you? You just keep that to yourself, OK.

[Bobby-Joe]

I dare you to make less sense, BJ. old
I'm pretty sure it's just because of the spelling and grammatical errors in this post but the end result....argh!

I dare you to do better with two hours of sleep after spending the night dealing with a bunch of terrified old ladies.

Oh how it went

Caller at 9:45pm "Come quick, Satan is about to tie me up and make me watch while he rapes my daughters"

It was Moonflower out collecting mushrooms.

Caller at 10:30pm "Send help, there is a she demon with an enormous artificial tallywacker who is going to make a thespian!"

It was Moonflower with her broom

Caller at 11:10 “Help me, for the love of Christ! A witch is sending a bear to break into my house to suck my soul out of my body!”

It was Moonflower petting a raccoon. We shot the raccoon.

And so on,

It went like that all the whole night.