[Brother Harold Porter]

Re: How to Spank a Gay Toddler?

Gonna preface this with the following...thing(can't think of the word): I am 100% serious about any and all information about myself.

Obviously you've never met toddler me. I remember every stupid shenanigan I got myself into as a tot. IN HIGH DEF.

For example, I can remember the exact place and time I got married(my preschooler self was not the smartest kid on the playground).

Funny thing though? I have a minor Asperger's problem, but my IQ is over 171.

I know this for one reason: I recently took an IQ test and that was the result.

I've also become notoriously good at hiding my Asperger's. No matter how much someone enrages me, I stay calm, cool, and on top of the situation. It's very hard to make me lose my cool.

P.S.: I have a thread request. Could you guys review the game "Super Smash Bros."?

Friend, I suspect you have more than a "minor" problem with the Aspergers curse that is staining your filthy soul, because you shun your Savior, Jesus Christ.

Read more here on just how evil your affliction can be.

In Christ

[Son of satan]

Re: How to Spank a Gay Toddler?

Gonna preface this with the following...thing(can't think of the word): I am 100% serious about any and all information about myself.

Obviously you've never met toddler me. I remember every stupid shenanigan I got myself into as a tot. IN HIGH DEF.

For example, I can remember the exact place and time I got married(my preschooler self was not the smartest kid on the playground).

Funny thing though? I have a minor Asperger's problem, but my IQ is over 171.

I know this for one reason: I recently took an IQ test and that was the result.

I've also become notoriously good at hiding my Asperger's. No matter how much someone enrages me, I stay calm, cool, and on top of the situation. It's very hard to make me lose my cool.

P.S.: I have a thread request. Could you guys review the game "Super Smash Bros."?

P.P.S.: Wow you and I got off-track. That was NOT the question I asked. What I asked was, you would rather your child walk the earth scarred for life with PTSD than have him disobey you. That's fucked up tbh

[Son of satan]

Re: How to Spank a Gay Toddler?

Dear sinner, it is a known fact that the trauma of growing up a faggot in the world screws up a child more than any other event ever. Besides, toddlers don't remember much. One of my children stuck a cheerios so far up his nose he coughed it out three hours later into his sister's hair. Mr. Etheldreda beat him thoroughly. The next week he did it again.

Gonna preface this with the following...thing(can't think of the word): I am 100% serious about any and all information about myself.

Obviously you've never met toddler me. I remember every stupid shenanigan I got myself into as a tot. IN HIGH DEF.

For example, I can remember the exact place and time I got married(my preschooler self was not the smartest kid on the playground).

Funny thing though? I have a minor Asperger's problem, but my IQ is over 171.

I know this for one reason: I recently took an IQ test and that was the result.

I've also become notoriously good at hiding my Asperger's. No matter how much someone enrages me, I stay calm, cool, and on top of the situation. It's very hard to make me lose my cool.

P.S.: I have a thread request. Could you guys review the game "Super Smash Bros."?

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: How to Spank a Gay Toddler?

So essentially you give a TODDLER, whose brain is young and pliable, a mental disease(PTSD) that will SCAR THEM FOR LIFE?!?!

Pssh.

You guys really are not true Christians.

Dear sinner, it is a known fact that the trauma of growing up a faggot in the world screws up a child more than any other event ever. Besides, toddlers don't remember much. One of my children stuck a cheerios so far up his nose he coughed it out three hours later into his sister's hair. Mr. Etheldreda beat him thoroughly. The next week he did it again.

[Son of satan]

Re: How to Spank a Gay Toddler?

Hi there Sin of Liberty! Welcome to God's Favorite Forums™. Maybe instead of coming to OUR place of worship to bash the teachings of Christ Jesus, you take the time to make an introduction on the Introductions Forum. Then, perhaps someone will listen to your satanic rants against True Christians™. Praise GOD!

Not bashing, just using my God-given logic :^)

[Youth Minister Harry]

Re: How to Spank a Gay Toddler?

Hi there Sin of Liberty! Welcome to God's Favorite Forums™. Maybe instead of coming to OUR place of worship to bash the teachings of Christ Jesus, you take the time to make an introduction on the Introductions Forum. Then, perhaps someone will listen to your satanic rants against True Christians™. Praise GOD!

[Son of satan]

Re: How to Spank a Gay Toddler?

I can't urge you enough to be very very careful here. Doing the wrong thing here could give that child psychological problems for life.
I suggest you let the child show its parents which way it wants to go.
Place the child on the floor, out of reach of distractions and lay 2 articles in front of it, these being 1. a blue plastic toy such as a hammer, or 2. a pink plastic pony or girls toy of some sort .
If the boy child wants to play with the pink toy , it's gay, and spanking should be applied immediately and forcefully until it recognises that pink = pain. Repeat this instruction as often as necessary until the very sight of the colour pink is enough to induce hysteria in the child.
If the child should be a girl, and it reaches for the blue plastic toy, spanking again needs to be applied vigorously until the same result is achieved as for the man child .
Each time the child attempts to pick up the correct sex oriented plaything, of course positive reinforcement should be applied, such as pats or food - just like training a dog or other circus animal.
Teaching the child to remember and repeat bible passages is also ideal at this age.
My parents assure me that this was exactly how i was reared and I have no qualms whatsoever about thrashing errant children, whosever they may be in order to keep them on Gods chosen path.
I hope this helps.
Brother Guy.

So essentially you give a TODDLER, whose brain is young and pliable, a mental disease(PTSD) that will SCAR THEM FOR LIFE?!?!

Pssh.

You guys really are not true Christians.

[Youth Minister Harry]

Re: How to Spank a Gay Toddler?

Brother James sure nailed it! The daddy parent has to start early or the boy will sprout up into a big, tall strong chicken. If he gets too big, trying to eliminate the faggetuity from him becomes a super duper pain in the heiney. He'll be squeelin' and wrigglin' and wormin' his way out of just about any hold you can put onto him, so you really need to work him over with the vigor of Jesus while his little body is still tiny and pliable. Oh, yes, the Lord knows how to overcome His children with a warm shot of the Holy Spirit! PRAISE GOD!

[James Hutchins]

Re: How to Spank a Gay Toddler?

Small children cry all the time.
You can never tell if they are happy or upset. Being I run a tight Christian family, my children have to be happy. Spanking, no matter how much or how often, never changes their demeanor. I've had blisters on my hands, certainly God did not want me to suffer for the failings of an unSaved(c) replaceable child. So I often resort to the Rod of Jesus(tm) followed by timely passages from the KJV.
For those occasions where the Rod is not handy or the space is confined, I find shaking the demons out of the child works four or five minutes of vigorous shaking (like getting salt out) until the raucous noises stop, though it has been known to make me perspire. One way or another, children make me suffer.

[eggcake]

Re: How to Spank a Gay Toddler?

A flamethrower burn or a tear gas canister to the face?
Should teach them a lesson

[Oliver_Cromwell]

Re: How to Spank a Gay Toddler?

Spanking perverted children will only arouse them and encourage their sodomasochistic lifestyle choice, no matter the Godly intent of the parent. I would suggest at least two minutes of severe shaking followed by up to three minutes of repeated body slamming on a hard, unyielding surface, like concrete, as an alternative. However, if you must spank, use an ax handle or aluminum baseball bat for best results. You gotta break a few boneseggs to make an omelette.

That sounds ideal for this kind of situation brother Witch Hammer! In fact when I read your reply I found inspiration in it and want to suggest also maybe introducing the little sodomite in the making to some manly power tools and maybe an axe and let him play with those, maybe even get him a mini chain saw. Good Godly work outside will help drive the demons out of him.

[Witch Hammer]

Re: How to Spank a Gay Toddler?

Spanking perverted children will only arouse them and encourage their sodomasochistic lifestyle choice, no matter the Godly intent of the parent. I would suggest at least two minutes of severe shaking followed by up to three minutes of repeated body slamming on a hard, unyielding surface, like concrete, as an alternative. However, if you must spank, use an ax handle or aluminum baseball bat for best results. You gotta break a few boneseggs to make an omelette.

[Barzona]

Re: How to Spank a Gay Toddler?

I can't urge you enough to be very very careful here. Doing the wrong thing here could give that child psychological problems for life.
I suggest you let the child show its parents which way it wants to go.
Place the child on the floor, out of reach of distractions and lay 2 articles in front of it, these being 1. a blue plastic toy such as a hammer, or 2. a pink plastic pony or girls toy of some sort .
If the boy child wants to play with the pink toy , it's gay, and spanking should be applied immediately and forcefully until it recognises that pink = pain. Repeat this instruction as often as necessary until the very sight of the colour pink is enough to induce hysteria in the child.
If the child should be a girl, and it reaches for the blue plastic toy, spanking again needs to be applied vigorously until the same result is achieved as for the man child .
Each time the child attempts to pick up the correct sex oriented plaything, of course positive reinforcement should be applied, such as pats or food - just like training a dog or other circus animal.
Teaching the child to remember and repeat bible passages is also ideal at this age.
My parents assure me that this was exactly how i was reared and I have no qualms whatsoever about thrashing errant children, whosever they may be in order to keep them on Gods chosen path.
I hope this helps.
Brother Guy.

You...

What a great idea.

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: How to Spank a Gay Toddler?

How in the hell are you to tell if your toddler is a homosexual

Would it kill you to do a little research before asking stupid questions?

http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=2669

and what does it matter if they do turn out to be homosexual?

Personally I'd prefer my children not burn in Hell. Of course I can't speak for a sick and twisted liberal freak like you.

[SantosLHalper]

Re: How to Spank a Gay Toddler?

This thread is bloody sickening. How in the hell are you to tell if your toddler is a homosexual and what does it matter if they do turn out to be homosexual?

Would you honestly disown your child? Sounds pretty bloody pathetic to me.