Tweet
Dear Brothers and Sisters
We were holding onto this news article until further funding could be made available. Perhaps you could put a little extra in the Landover tithes for these sad lesbians who need our help.
In the past month at Coventry Baptist we have been dealing with the emo runaways, the queer goths and the occasion nappy wearing adult. Our work is never done and harder now with the do gooders hanging around picketing us as though we were an abortion clinic...the nerve.
Despite the recent drawbacks I thought it would be nice to share it with you.
Now sodomites and lesbians do not often turn back to the Lord. They tell themselves all kinds of nonsense about it being genetic and coded into the DNA and by the time they are old enough to vote (and they really shouldn’t be voting) they have brainwashed themselves to the point that in most cases it’s almost impossible to salvage the dyke or poofster.
We actually do what we can to stop this loathsome behaviour when the girl first shows signs of tomboy-ism. If her parents complain that little butch is a bit too handy with a cricket bat or too clever with a football then we are alerted and we step in. In many ways we act just like the queers…but we step in and de-recruit instead of recruiting. We try to feminise that little halfback before the carnal damage is done.
Occasionally though we get them older…hatchet faced women who realise late in life that they have thrown it all away…kids, grandkids, and stability. All these lovely things lost by being with women. It’s a little tougher Deprogramming the Dyke or using our patented DTD programme.
She may indeed want help and that’s what’s so frustrating. She wants the help but she’s brainwashed herself so much that even as she is cooperating she is also fighting us and some of these soon to be Belles of the ball are more than a handful when the ghost of Spike or Mitch or Butch tries to get back in control.
That so called Butch DNA tries to assert itself when we try to show the little woman some handy make up tips in order to try to make herself marginally more attractive to the opposite sex. She is likely to ask the hairdresser if she wants to toss a ball around just as easily as asking what colour rinse might suit her.
You see the dyke is totally programmed when we get them. They come with a head full of unladylike facts about football, makes of cars and engine sizes, they know how to throw a house together and can discuss tools with our handyman Robert. They do not understand that it is the height of unattractiveness to most men when the woman can cobble things together and make them work again. For the sake of their feminisation they need to resist the impulse to fix the knackered doorbell.
Now be sure this is no Eliza Dolittle we are trying to fix and turn into a lady, at least with Eliza we could be certain she liked men. This specimen swaggers like a sailor most of the time and needs to be conditioned to stop calling the ministry secretary “Babycakes” and “Sweetthang”. I swear even British lesbians sound like they come from Alabama.
She must be taught the finer things in life…needlepoint and reading her Bible. She needs to learn to address men in a humble and honourable fashion befitting a fine lady of the church. She often has to relearn how to spell…woman instead of womyn and wommon and all manner of strange pronouns and capitalisations. We use a minor form of electrical aversion therapy for the truly hard to correct cases but mostly it’s just a matter of going over and over the same materials. Don’t forget that even the most determined ex butch is going to have slip ups. Just teaching them to sit is often a trial especially when they are not used to wearing skirts or dresses. Modesty needs to be retaught. Keeping knees together and learning to sit regally and quietly doesn’t come easily to our butchy friend. She needs to be reminded that arm wrestling isn’t considered an appropriate passing of time. She needs to be reminded that burping is not considered polite in China and so what if it is…Good Baptist ladies do not. All the silly history she thinks she knows has to be destroyed and retaught. She needs to embrace that the concept of feminism and suffragettes is wrong. She needs to know when to confine herself during her Time of Eve. She has to resist the temptation that will try and reassert itself the strongest when she is in the company of other women. As a matter of fact usually we do not even allow her alone with other women for the first few weeks of programming. She has to rebuke her homosexual agenda and seek the power of God’s holy intervention through His Son Jesus the Anointed.
She has to learn the most basic things…walking in heels without falling on her face, carrying a handbag in front of her and not flung across her shoulder like some French Foreign Legionnaire. Her handbag is for compact and lipstick and not for her spanner set.
In time though the sweet demure creature that was hidden in the lesbian folds finds its way back to the surface and a Christian woman emerges…one that in time will be able to secure herself a nice older bachelor or widower. She will sing in the meeting halls and her voice pleasant and smooth no longer roughened by alcohol or tobacco. She will sit quietly, her eyes cast downward on her folded gloved hands as she sits in a pretty frock or sensible skirt. Her tattoos long removed are softening under the healing glaze of skin creams and her face carefully made up with just enough make up to soften her features.
We have had several wonderful success stories with our DTD Programme and the wayward Baptist women we once lost have returned to the flock. Occasionally there are backsliders but a behaviour modification course with minor electrical shock aversion usually gets these ladies back on track.
We were holding onto this news article until further funding could be made available. Perhaps you could put a little extra in the Landover tithes for these sad lesbians who need our help.
In the past month at Coventry Baptist we have been dealing with the emo runaways, the queer goths and the occasion nappy wearing adult. Our work is never done and harder now with the do gooders hanging around picketing us as though we were an abortion clinic...the nerve.
Despite the recent drawbacks I thought it would be nice to share it with you.
Now sodomites and lesbians do not often turn back to the Lord. They tell themselves all kinds of nonsense about it being genetic and coded into the DNA and by the time they are old enough to vote (and they really shouldn’t be voting) they have brainwashed themselves to the point that in most cases it’s almost impossible to salvage the dyke or poofster.
We actually do what we can to stop this loathsome behaviour when the girl first shows signs of tomboy-ism. If her parents complain that little butch is a bit too handy with a cricket bat or too clever with a football then we are alerted and we step in. In many ways we act just like the queers…but we step in and de-recruit instead of recruiting. We try to feminise that little halfback before the carnal damage is done.
Occasionally though we get them older…hatchet faced women who realise late in life that they have thrown it all away…kids, grandkids, and stability. All these lovely things lost by being with women. It’s a little tougher Deprogramming the Dyke or using our patented DTD programme.
She may indeed want help and that’s what’s so frustrating. She wants the help but she’s brainwashed herself so much that even as she is cooperating she is also fighting us and some of these soon to be Belles of the ball are more than a handful when the ghost of Spike or Mitch or Butch tries to get back in control.
That so called Butch DNA tries to assert itself when we try to show the little woman some handy make up tips in order to try to make herself marginally more attractive to the opposite sex. She is likely to ask the hairdresser if she wants to toss a ball around just as easily as asking what colour rinse might suit her.
You see the dyke is totally programmed when we get them. They come with a head full of unladylike facts about football, makes of cars and engine sizes, they know how to throw a house together and can discuss tools with our handyman Robert. They do not understand that it is the height of unattractiveness to most men when the woman can cobble things together and make them work again. For the sake of their feminisation they need to resist the impulse to fix the knackered doorbell.
Now be sure this is no Eliza Dolittle we are trying to fix and turn into a lady, at least with Eliza we could be certain she liked men. This specimen swaggers like a sailor most of the time and needs to be conditioned to stop calling the ministry secretary “Babycakes” and “Sweetthang”. I swear even British lesbians sound like they come from Alabama.
She must be taught the finer things in life…needlepoint and reading her Bible. She needs to learn to address men in a humble and honourable fashion befitting a fine lady of the church. She often has to relearn how to spell…woman instead of womyn and wommon and all manner of strange pronouns and capitalisations. We use a minor form of electrical aversion therapy for the truly hard to correct cases but mostly it’s just a matter of going over and over the same materials. Don’t forget that even the most determined ex butch is going to have slip ups. Just teaching them to sit is often a trial especially when they are not used to wearing skirts or dresses. Modesty needs to be retaught. Keeping knees together and learning to sit regally and quietly doesn’t come easily to our butchy friend. She needs to be reminded that arm wrestling isn’t considered an appropriate passing of time. She needs to be reminded that burping is not considered polite in China and so what if it is…Good Baptist ladies do not. All the silly history she thinks she knows has to be destroyed and retaught. She needs to embrace that the concept of feminism and suffragettes is wrong. She needs to know when to confine herself during her Time of Eve. She has to resist the temptation that will try and reassert itself the strongest when she is in the company of other women. As a matter of fact usually we do not even allow her alone with other women for the first few weeks of programming. She has to rebuke her homosexual agenda and seek the power of God’s holy intervention through His Son Jesus the Anointed.
She has to learn the most basic things…walking in heels without falling on her face, carrying a handbag in front of her and not flung across her shoulder like some French Foreign Legionnaire. Her handbag is for compact and lipstick and not for her spanner set.
In time though the sweet demure creature that was hidden in the lesbian folds finds its way back to the surface and a Christian woman emerges…one that in time will be able to secure herself a nice older bachelor or widower. She will sing in the meeting halls and her voice pleasant and smooth no longer roughened by alcohol or tobacco. She will sit quietly, her eyes cast downward on her folded gloved hands as she sits in a pretty frock or sensible skirt. Her tattoos long removed are softening under the healing glaze of skin creams and her face carefully made up with just enough make up to soften her features.
We have had several wonderful success stories with our DTD Programme and the wayward Baptist women we once lost have returned to the flock. Occasionally there are backsliders but a behaviour modification course with minor electrical shock aversion usually gets these ladies back on track.
