Re: WHAT?!? Sulu's WHAT?!?!
You don't think I caught the space herpes by playing it coy, do you? Don't worry your pretty little head about it though. Unlike earth herpes, space herpes is completely curable through contact with human saliva.
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Re: WHAT?!? Sulu's WHAT?!?!
I'm sorry, baby. It happens quite often the first time someone is beamed up and warped away. We call it space sickness. A nice glass of synthehol will help calm your cute little tummy before I boldly go all over it.
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Re: WHAT?!? Sulu's WHAT?!?!
Alright, two chicks! Score! What say I giggitty you two up to my gedoogitty ship and we'll giggitty giggitty goo all the way to Xanax 2! LOL! We only use Astroglide on my ship, and in space no one can hear you moan with pleasure!
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Re: WHAT?!? Sulu's WHAT?!?!
It looks like I'm going to need to teach you about Catholicism.
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WHAT?!? Sulu's WHAT?!?!
I just found out my helmsman, Mr. Sulu, is gay! Not that there's anything wrong with that. But he's gay!
This puts a whole new spin on things. Those long nights in my cabin, showing him the Captain's Log as he gave me back rubs to ease the tension from a long day straddling the galaxy and wrestling with those pesky Klingons, I thought it was all about friendship! When I heard this news, you could have set my personal phaser to stun! What could have been more manly than that time Sulu wandered around the Enterprise topless and sweaty, brandishing his sword at various crewmen?
Beam me up Scotty, because I am flabbergasted! Chekov, him I could see. He was a little too much like a Russian Monkee for my tastes. But not Sulu!
Yes, he was always enthusiastic when I ordered him to engage thrusters or to load a photon torpedo into the tube, but I always just assumed it was because he wanted to do a good job.
I'm an open-minded captain though, and I won't let this affect my opinion of him in any way. Hey, that just leaves more alien chicks for me, right? That's cool.
Mr. Sulu, set a course for Uranus, warp factor 10.
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