Starbucks: Are You Drinking The Gay?

[Jack Rankan]

Starbucks: Are You Drinking The Gay?

A good Christian must be cautious with their choices of beverages. It’s a dangerous world out there. You don’t want to drink something homosexual, or something hipstersexual, or something liberal and atheist. But only one line of beverages is all three. Starbucks covers the entire unholy trinity, and it is dangerous to America and to the future of your children.

Starbucks is from Seattle, one of the most dangerous cities in America. Seattle is home of Apple, Microsoft, Nirvana, Boeing, Amazon, Nintendo, iCarly, Twilight and hipstersexualism. Starbucks, through the persuasive socialist marijuana distributed to things that are from or take place in Seattle, has brainwashed every liberal, homogay, and hipstersexual in the world to crowding up their stores and ordering extremely complex beverages that they can take Instagrams of on their iPhones.



Starbucks has finally been revealed as the evil entity of Satan with the news that it supports gay marriage in the state of Washington. Starbucks is additionally responsible for encouraging millions of wealthy young boys to choose to be a homosexual. Starbucks continues to threaten my masculinity with its ubiquitous presence, and if we don’t stop it soon it may turn all of America into a scarf-wearing, Bible-hating gay homosexual hipster before we know it. Starbucks creates extremely colorful drinks that young liberal gays show on their Tumblrs so that people like you and me cower in fear of their misled taste in drinks. This little social community that has brought Starbucks so much money however, is about to ruin America.





As you can see from the data above, Starbucks customers know nothing about politics. Most of them would rather be on reddit through the wifi offered as they drink their fluffy coffee beverages and eat gross cupcake lollipops while updating their tumblrs. They bring enormous sums of money into the company which allows Starbucks an even greater capacity to pander to the democratic party. This is dangerous because it only allows Barack Hussein Obama a bigger margin in the election through brainwashing of children and misled youth, and that just doesn’t sit right with me.

A True American does not drink Starbucks, I implore you to choose something more wholesome when you feel thirsty. Starbucks may implant gay ideas into your mind, and you will be confused and may even start voting democrat. Starbucks is dangerous and instead of drinking their fancy blends, go with something less exotic and colorful. Your life depends on it.

[Zechariah Smyth]

Re: Starbucks: Are You Drinking The Gay?

You know the craziest part about Starbucks? They actually took their name from a gay character in a well-known book (I will put the name in small letters at the end of this post because it has a naughty word in the title) about some effeminate sailors "chasing the big one" if you get my drift.

In the book, Starbuck was the first mate of the captain, which means he served as his catamite and if you don't know what that means let's just say he was the "catcher" and leave it at that.

Every time I see a Starbucks I throw up in my mouth a little because it forces me to remember my lost years as a filthy homosexual.



Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth











Moby Dick

[Wide-Open]

Re: Starbucks: Are You Drinking The Gay?

There are so many reasons to avoid Starbucks it's hard to know where to start. You can't even bring your trusty guns inside!

I suppose they ultimately want you to go in Starbucknaked to, indeed, "Drink The Gay"

[WWJDnow]

Re: Starbucks: Are You Drinking The Gay?

Are we sure that Starbucks is gay? I mean, why would a gay company chose an image of a woman holding her legs behind her head as its logo? Either way, it's certainly a sinful enterprise that Christians should boycott.

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Starbucks: Are You Drinking The Gay?

Are we sure that Starbucks is gay? I mean, why would a gay company chose an image of a woman holding her legs behind her head as its logo?

They do this to throw decent and moral people off. Gays don't know what normal people like, so they make it up. They think, "Hmm, people like mermaids, and people like to look at the the naughty bits of women, don't they? Say, let's put those two together and people will think we're normal, too!"

That way, when you see they sponsored such abominations like Gay so-called "Pride" parades, you think, "Gee, what's a decent, morally upstanding company doing on the registered supporter's list? Why, it must be a terrible mistake, probably some cross dressing queen put them there while he was being poked from behind trying out his new dress during their organization meeting."

But in reality, they're one of the biggest proponents of the Gay Agenda.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Starbucks: Are You Drinking The Gay?

I've always been tempted to walk into one the Des Moines Starbucks and order "Heterosexual Male's Coffee". I wonder what they would serve me?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Starbucks: Are You Drinking The Gay?

[Pastor Ed Lowman]

Re: Starbucks: Are You Drinking The Gay?

Starbucks: Are You Drinking The Gay?

A good Christian must be cautious with their choices of beverages. It’s a dangerous world out there. You don’t want to drink something homosexual, or something hipstersexual, or something liberal and atheist. But only one line of beverages is all three. Starbucks covers the entire unholy trinity, and it is dangerous to America and to the future of your children.

Starbucks is from Seattle, one of the most dangerous cities in America.

Amen, Brother Rankan.

I've always said, ever since that homergay stuck his tongue out at me in an airport Starbucks in 1997, that cinnamon lattes should be banned in every U.S. city. They do nothing but strengthen the libidos of turtleneck-wearing euro-trash queers, especially in rapist-infested Seattle.

Pastor Ed

[Jack Rankan]

Re: Starbucks: Are You Drinking The Gay?

I agree Pastor Ed.

The same happened to me, back in 1998 in Dallas (hard to believe, but...). Since then, I started to investigate Starbucks. Me and my NRA friends are preparing the pettition which will be sent to Republican party, because the truth must be known. I understand, Republicans have a lot of work to do like fighting off the Obama queer care, but this also must mede public. We have gathered a lot of documents proving that Starbucks has trhe agenda of turning young Christians homersexuals. And this has to stop.

[thetrueseeker]

Re: Starbucks: Are You Drinking The Gay?

Starbucks: Are You Drinking The Gay?

A good Christian must be cautious with their choices of beverages. It’s a dangerous world out there. You don’t want to drink something homosexual, or something hipstersexual, or something liberal and atheist. But only one line of beverages is all three. Starbucks covers the entire unholy trinity, and it is dangerous to America and to the future of your children.

Starbucks is from Seattle, one of the most dangerous cities in America. Seattle is home of Apple, Microsoft, Nirvana, Boeing, Amazon, Nintendo, iCarly, Twilight and hipstersexualism. Starbucks, through the persuasive socialist marijuana distributed to things that are from or take place in Seattle, has brainwashed every liberal, homogay, and hipstersexual in the world to crowding up their stores and ordering extremely complex beverages that they can take Instagrams of on their iPhones.



Starbucks has finally been revealed as the evil entity of Satan with the news that it supports gay marriage in the state of Washington. Starbucks is additionally responsible for encouraging millions of wealthy young boys to choose to be a homosexual. Starbucks continues to threaten my masculinity with its ubiquitous presence, and if we don’t stop it soon it may turn all of America into a scarf-wearing, Bible-hating gay homosexual hipster before we know it. Starbucks creates extremely colorful drinks that young liberal gays show on their Tumblrs so that people like you and me cower in fear of their misled taste in drinks. This little social community that has brought Starbucks so much money however, is about to ruin America.





As you can see from the data above, Starbucks customers know nothing about politics. Most of them would rather be on reddit through the wifi offered as they drink their fluffy coffee beverages and eat gross cupcake lollipops while updating their tumblrs. They bring enormous sums of money into the company which allows Starbucks an even greater capacity to pander to the democratic party. This is dangerous because it only allows Barack Hussein Obama a bigger margin in the election through brainwashing of children and misled youth, and that just doesn’t sit right with me.

A True American does not drink Starbucks, I implore you to choose something more wholesome when you feel thirsty. Starbucks may implant gay ideas into your mind, and you will be confused and may even start voting democrat. Starbucks is dangerous and instead of drinking their fancy blends, go with something less exotic and colorful. Your life depends on it.

Fuck you all you closed-minded hateful bastards.
Whoa re you to say that homosexuality should be banned you believe in a man who lives in the sky and makes things out of thin air!

[Zechariah Smyth]

Re: Starbucks: Are You Drinking The Gay?

piffle you all you closed-minded hateful bastards.

The irony: it burns!



Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth