[Sledge Riprock]

Re: The Future is Soon!

eliot mayfield spake thusly:
So then, you're pretty useless.
__________________

For sports scores and winning Lotto numbers, I'm afraid I am. But as a humble harbinger of horrors yet to be, I hope I can be of some use to The Lord and to all of you True Christians™ here at Landover Baptist. I'm reading my KJV 1611 nearly constantly and praying for guidance the rest of the time. And fixing lawnmowers to make ends meet. Which has another added benefit; I have almost no time at all for womanizing and no money for Scotch! Praise Him!

[VictoryOS]

Re: The Future is Soon!

Is this another one of those John Titor things? I'm not falling for that again.

[eliot mayfield]

Re: The Future is Soon!

Mr. Mayfield,
As I stated once before, because I traveled "one-way" to your time, naked (and ashamed) as the day I was born, I am completely cut off from my time. Since I am unable to contact either the Dedicated Intrepid Christian Knights or their non-earthbound wing the Dedicated Intrepid Christian Knights in Space, I have no way of discovering minute details about your time. In hindsight, we really didn't plan this whole "Trip into the Past" thing very well. It weighs heavily upon me that I will be here in your time until the day The Lord takes me, seemingly unable to change The Future! that so desperately needs changing.

So then, you're pretty useless.

[Sledge Riprock]

Re: The Future is Soon!

Mr. Mayfield,
As I stated once before, because I traveled "one-way" to your time, naked (and ashamed) as the day I was born, I am completely cut off from my time. Since I am unable to contact either the Dedicated Intrepid Christian Knights or their non-earthbound wing the Dedicated Intrepid Christian Knights in Space, I have no way of discovering minute details about your time. In hindsight, we really didn't plan this whole "Trip into the Past" thing very well. It weighs heavily upon me that I will be here in your time until the day The Lord takes me, seemingly unable to change The Future! that so desperately needs changing.

[eliot mayfield]

Re: The Future is Soon!

Here's a better question for you and we'll know the answer tomorrow. Who wins the Moto GP class at Brno this year?

[Sledge Riprock]

Re: The Future is Soon!

No, it was space. Space is less smelly than Africa and there are fewer fleas.

[Brother Guy Bayard]

Re: The Future is Soon!

No doubt you are familiar with SETI. I think its a waste of time and money. When aliens find us, we will know without a doubt because we will be bombarded with calls by some alien telemarketer at dinner time in some indecipherable accent, asking us if we want to buy insurance for protection against meteor showers or solar flares or something.
Theyll find us first, don't you worry.
Can I get my number listed on a 'do not call" list in the future please , Sledge?


Aliens. Don't get me started. Before I was saved, I thought nothing of slaughtering planets full of 'em. We'd find a planet, check it for "intelligent" (uppity) life, and then blast it to bits! But after I was put on The Path (Praise HIM!), I soon realized that ALL aliens were tools or minions of The Cloven One and it was therefore my Christian duty to rid the entire galaxy of their Evilness. After that, my former "thinking nothing" of alien obliteration became a quest, a thirst that could not be slaked for the blood (both metaphorically and literally) of any and all non-earthly life, as it had been revealed to me that Satan controlled them all. Why even now, I feel a fire deep within me, forcing it's way immodestly to the surface of my body when I imagine doing The Lord's work with nuclear missiles and such.

As for your "do not call list" I can only say that we never found any aliens in our neck of the woods that had much more than sharpened sticks. And after we'd got through with 'em, there were a bit on the chrispy side to be bothering anyone here on earth. Most them look like giant bugs, lizards, or blobs of jelly anyway, and I'm not sure they could pick up a phone, let alone use one.

Sure you weren't in Africa?

[Sledge Riprock]

Re: The Future is Soon!

No doubt you are familiar with SETI. I think its a waste of time and money. When aliens find us, we will know without a doubt because we will be bombarded with calls by some alien telemarketer at dinner time in some indecipherable accent, asking us if we want to buy insurance for protection against meteor showers or solar flares or something.
Theyll find us first, don't you worry.
Can I get my number listed on a 'do not call" list in the future please , Sledge?


Aliens. Don't get me started. Before I was saved, I thought nothing of slaughtering planets full of 'em. We'd find a planet, check it for "intelligent" (uppity) life, and then blast it to bits! But after I was put on The Path (Praise HIM!), I soon realized that ALL aliens were tools or minions of The Cloven One and it was therefore my Christian duty to rid the entire galaxy of their Evilness. After that, my former "thinking nothing" of alien obliteration became a quest, a thirst that could not be slaked for the blood (both metaphorically and literally) of any and all non-earthly life, as it had been revealed to me that Satan controlled them all. Why even now, I feel a fire deep within me, forcing it's way immodestly to the surface of my body when I imagine doing The Lord's work with nuclear missiles and such.

As for your "do not call list" I can only say that we never found any aliens in our neck of the woods that had much more than sharpened sticks. And after we'd got through with 'em, there were a bit on the chrispy side to be bothering anyone here on earth. Most them look like giant bugs, lizards, or blobs of jelly anyway, and I'm not sure they could pick up a phone, let alone use one.

[Brother Guy Bayard]

Re: The Future is Soon!

No doubt you are familiar with SETI. I think its a waste of time and money. When aliens find us, we will know without a doubt because we will be bombarded with calls by some alien telemarketer at dinner time in some indecipherable accent, asking us if we want to buy insurance for protection against meteor showers or solar flares or something.
Theyll find us first, don't you worry.
Can I get my number listed on a 'do not call" list in the future please , Sledge?

[Sledge Riprock]

Re: The Future is Soon!

Okay, now I KNOW you're lying.

Show me where it says any of that communist nonsense in the Holy Bible.

Pastor,
You of course are more familiar with the Bible than I am. In The Future! there are very few Bibles left. So many supposed Christians are distracted by the flying cars, the wall-size holographic 3D entertainment systems, the personal jet packs, and the meals in the form of pills.

The only thing I could find that seems to be about commies follows:


They encourage themselves in an evil matter: they commune of laying snares privily ; they say , Who shall see them?

Psalms 64:5


That sounds pretty bad though, right?

And for the others that doubt me, I will admit also that you all are much more Godly and are Christianer than I. I will study the KJB with all the might I can muster. It will cut into my hard drinking and womanzing time, but it will be well worth it I am sure.

[Butt Pirate]

Re: The Future is Soon!

The future shall be quite interesting either way.

I anticipate that it will be the best future yet, the outcome is not quite clear to me at this moment, but i will be able to get back to you about it in the future.

[Bob Kaare]

Re: The Future is Soon!

Cpt. Sledge Ridgerock, I must admit you are a highly confusing person.
But if this is all true, and i do hope it is, then i can only say that the future will be interesting.

The future shall be quite interesting either way.

[Butt Pirate]

Re: The Future is Soon!

Cpt. Sledge Ridgerock, I must admit you are a highly confusing person.
But if this is all true, and i do hope it is, then i can only say that the future will be interesting.

[Bob4God]

Re: The Future is Soon!

Real or not, I don't even want to THINK about that kind of a future.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: The Future is Soon!

[...]
You see, in The Future! something has gone horribly wrong with God's Plan. All peoples of the world [...names demons] live together in PEACE! [...]

Let me tell you, son, Nothing, but Nothing has ever gone wrong with God’s Plan! Everything is exactly as He wants it to be and always will be! Praise!
And don’t you come back telling us about:

Genesis:6:5-7 And God saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually. And it repented the LORD that he had made man on the earth, and it grieved him at his heart. And the LORD said, I will destroy man whom I have created from the face of the earth; both man, and beast, and the creeping thing, and the fowls of the air; for it repenteth me that I have made them.

Because this shows me that you did not bother reading as far as the Book of Numbers where it clearly says,

Numbers 23:19, God is not a man, that he should lie; neither the son of man, that he should repent: hath he said, and shall he not do it? or hath he spoken, and shall he not make it good?

My suggestion is that you make your way back to your childhood and take some interest in Bible Class.

In the circumstances, whatever God has done or will do will be within His Plan! However, as far as living in peace with heathens and other vile sinners goes, it is simply not on the cards. Why else did He scatter the tribes at the time of The Tower of Babel?