[Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson]

Re: Introduction of the Lambs

Welcome Mr. and Mrs. Lamb,

It's so lovely to have you on these forums! I'm looking forward to talking to you more, and not through your elder daughter. Obviously, since we have met in person and you are familiar with my areas, would you consider sending Sarah to me and we can have her taught under my careful, godly management? I teach a few young ladies and mentor them...we can discuss the tuition and such in private.

Also, please stay in Freehold. You could probably buy a home in my compound for a fair price since you are verified by my husband and myself. I hope to move to Freehold myself someday, if allowed and He wills it.

Yours in Him,
Elizabeth

[Jim Farmer]

Re: Introduction of the Lambs

Mother and Father have been living here in Freehold and attending services since right around the same time as me, Brother God=life. Their tithing level is envied and their dedication to the Lord is unstoppable.

Their presence on this forum, however, gives me ulcers.

Mother? Father? ASK ME before you talk about my childhood, etc. No one is interested.

While they may live in Freehold, they are not True Christians™; they only live there because of you. Therefore, they should know to respect their betters.
I asked a simple question, which required nothing but a simple answer.

[Adam Fag]

Re: Introduction of the Lambs

Blessings in the name of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ!

We are Shadrach and Deborah Lamb, the loving father and devoted mother of Naomi Ruth and Sarah Elizabeth Lamb. As many of you know, our daughter is unmarried and sometimes uppity, but we come to this forum after Sister Elizabeth Johnson was gracious enough to invite us to her beautiful home in wicked California. Her home is not in a wicked area and her husband Mark is a dynamic minister of the Gospel of Jesus. We adore Sister Elizabeth. We all felt like if Naomi saw her parents presence on the board she might be careful about how uppity she gets because we are not above embarrassing her if the need arises.

We feel like we know so many of you already. We found the Lord Jesus prior to our wedding when Christ sent love into our hearts for one another and then we recognized our need for a Savior. Our love for the Word of God is deep!

Naomi's mother's favorite verse is "I will send my feare before thee, and will destroy all the people to whom thou shalt come, and I will make all thine enemies turne their backes vnto thee." (Exodus 23:27). Naomi's father's favorite verse is "And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that hee die: so shalt thou put euill away from among you, and all Israel shall heare, & feare.: (Deuteronomy 21:21) I do love a good stoning, well deserved.

We ask your continued patience with our old maid Naomi and prayers that she is able to nab a desperate man as her husband, since not many desirable ones will go for someone nearly a quarter century old, bless her heart.

We love all of you!
Shadrach and Deborah

Hi! Great to see you here! There's one or two nuts you need to look out for (it's not hard to spot them!) but they're a great bunch on the whole.

Yes, I've thought of a wife! What's she like as a cook? Make sure to use the right weights, I say, check the weight of meat and cakes and roasts will come out just fine!

I like to cook too, and sew (can she sew?) so if you put in a good word for me I'll see what I can do at my end.

Here's a pic she can have

All the best!

[Marko Loimaan-Aho]

Re: Introduction of the Lambs

Blessings in the name of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ!

We are Shadrach and Deborah Lamb, the loving father and devoted mother of Naomi Ruth and Sarah Elizabeth Lamb. As many of you know, our daughter is unmarried and sometimes uppity, but we come to this forum after Sister Elizabeth Johnson was gracious enough to invite us to her beautiful home in wicked California. Her home is not in a wicked area and her husband Mark is a dynamic minister of the Gospel of Jesus. We adore Sister Elizabeth. We all felt like if Naomi saw her parents presence on the board she might be careful about how uppity she gets because we are not above embarrassing her if the need arises.

We feel like we know so many of you already. We found the Lord Jesus prior to our wedding when Christ sent love into our hearts for one another and then we recognized our need for a Savior. Our love for the Word of God is deep!

Naomi's mother's favorite verse is "I will send my feare before thee, and will destroy all the people to whom thou shalt come, and I will make all thine enemies turne their backes vnto thee." (Exodus 23:27). Naomi's father's favorite verse is "And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that hee die: so shalt thou put euill away from among you, and all Israel shall heare, & feare.: (Deuteronomy 21:21) I do love a good stoning, well deserved.

We ask your continued patience with our old maid Naomi and prayers that she is able to nab a desperate man as her husband, since not many desirable ones will go for someone nearly a quarter century old, bless her heart.

We love all of you!
Shadrach and Deborah

It is quite common that parents send nice childhood pictures of their children on forums.
Also we all are waiting to hear funny stories about the times, your children were still living with you.

Marko

Btw. - I have only sons...wait a minute...oh yes. The two young women working in the laundry are my daughters.

[Naomi Ruth Lamb]

Re: Introduction of the Lambs

You don't even keep track of when they're ready to be sold for marriage?

Mr. Much:

Don't you have a hate rally to attend somewhere? Perhaps a goat slaying or voodoo ritual?

Blessings,
NRL

[Naomi Ruth Lamb]

Re: Introduction of the Lambs

If I may say so on Brother Jim's behalf, he is a certified True Christian on a Christian forum, whereas your position is not quick as clear yet. We care about the sanctity and cleanliness of our friendly forum and Brother Jim was trying to help you out.

Mother and Father have been living here in Freehold and attending services since right around the same time as me, Brother God=life. Their tithing level is envied and their dedication to the Lord is unstoppable.

Their presence on this forum, however, gives me ulcers.

Mother? Father? ASK ME before you talk about my childhood, etc. No one is interested.

[GOD=life]

Re: Introduction of the Lambs

How dare you speak to your elders like that, sparky?

If I may say so on Brother Jim's behalf, he is a certified True Christian on a Christian forum, whereas your position is not quick as clear yet. We care about the sanctity and cleanliness of our friendly forum and Brother Jim was trying to help you out.

[Shad and Deb Lamb]

Re: Introduction of the Lambs

How many introduction threads are you going to start?

How dare you speak to your elders like that, sparky?

We had problems the first time and we are not that savory when it comes to teckology so back off before I send someone with a hovaround to mow you down.

In Christ's Mercy,
Shadrach and Deborah Lamb

It takes Jesus' blood upon its skin or else it goes to hell again!
(These Lambs will not be silenced by satan)

[Shad and Deb Lamb]

Re: Introduction of the Lambs

Esther, Thank you for at least being civil in your response to Mother and Father, whose presence here just makes me so warm inside. I'm off to their home right now to discuss it.

NRL

Honey bring your dad's hemorrhoid cushion with you, he left it over there last night. We love you dear.

Mother and Father

[Shad and Deb Lamb]

Re: Introduction of the Lambs

Welcome to God's favorite forum!

What have you done wrong to be punished with two daughters?

Personally I never worry about my daughters. I don't even bother to remember their names. I ignore them completely, which is about all the attention they deserve. I advise you to do the same.

My, but what a cranky old man you are. We love our daughters and yes we are disappointed in both of them but we still hold them up to Jesus, whose mercy is everlasting and longsuffering. He knows we have suffered with our children. It's like that time Naomi decided she didn't want to wear underwear in third grade and she took them off and hid them in the teacher's desk. When the teacher found them she had to act like nothing was wrong while our Naomi sat there knowing what she had done but not admitting it until the next day when we marched her in that classroom and made her wear the same pair that day. It's been like that all our lives.

Well thank you Cranky for such a warm welcome. As the kids say these days maybe you need to get a chilly pill. or something like that.

Shadrach and Deborah
These Lambs won't be silent for Jesus sake!

[Naomi Ruth Lamb]

Re: Introduction of the Lambs

Esther, Thank you for at least being civil in your response to Mother and Father, whose presence here just makes me so warm inside. I'm off to their home right now to discuss it.

NRL

[Esther B.]

Re: Introduction of the Lambs

Welcome, Mr. and Mrs. Lamb!

[Didymus Much]

Re: Introduction of the Lambs

...Personally I never worry about my daughters. I don't even bother to remember their names. I ignore them completely...

You don't even keep track of when they're ready to be sold for marriage?

[Jim Farmer]

Re: Introduction of the Lambs

How many introduction threads are you going to start?

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Introduction of the Lambs

Welcome to God's favorite forum!

What have you done wrong to be punished with two daughters?

Personally I never worry about my daughters. I don't even bother to remember their names. I ignore them completely, which is about all the attention they deserve. I advise you to do the same.