[Joshua Brooks]

Re: Greetings from the Academy

Don't worry about your eyebrows, Brother Joshua, you're a nice looking young man with them just the way they are. old

Why thank you for the compliment, Mrs. Noddy. However, if the pastors of this fine outstanding church have deducted that demons are drawn to men with thin eyebrows it would be in my best interest to apply rogaine and thicken them out. I'd hate to have some demonic force latching to me and attempting to influence me with homosexual inclinations.

Unfortunately, it haves been fo' a number of years from what I unnerstands. Especially around them Hellyweird homers:

I was under the impression that it was the demon infested air originating from San Francisco that accounted for the rampant homosexuality in Hollywood and the greater California area. With so many jews in that city and the rise of the kabbalah cults I just assumed that jew magic was being used to attract the demon spores in greater numbers. This has been a real eye opener, sister.

[Sista Lateefah]

Re: Greetings from the Academy

I had no idea that having thin eyebrows was a homosexual trend.

Unfortunately, it haves been fo' a number of years from what I unnerstands. Especially around them Hellyweird homers:

[Sister Noddy]

Re: Greetings from the Academy

Rogaine? ... umm, ok ...

I had no idea that having thin eyebrows was a homosexual trend.

Don't worry about your eyebrows, Brother Joshua, you're a nice looking young man with them just the way they are. old

[Sister Noddy]

Re: Greetings from the Academy

Praise Brother Temperance! These "Anglicant's" just can't seem to make peace with the pope, start kissing his ring again, and just admit that they are really cathylicks. They still claim they have Apostolic Succession, still maintain the liturgy and all those homer vestments, and rejoice in all that monochromatic medieval music. Their so-called church got started because King Henry VIII wanted to wander around with his tallywhacker. Let's face it, they are going to have to do something soon. When the current Queen dies, the next in line will be that inbred imbecile wanker, Prince Charles. Eventually they will all be swearing their oaths of allegiance and canonical obedience to his highnesses' wandering tallywhacker, all in honor of their founder Henry VIII.

Finally someone understands what I've been talking about, this is absolutely correct, we are catholic, Mr. William JB!

The word catholic means universal.

We (USA Episco) are not under the Queen or the Archbishop of Canterbury, we have our own church democratic law, and our own elected presiding Bishop.

That's it.

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Re: Greetings from the Academy

She's an Anglican't. The only things she can do are pray to the Queen of England and pronounce sodomite couples legally wedded in the eyes of the Supreme Court. She has to pay us $50 a month to keep us from banning her.

Praise Brother Temperance! These "Anglicant's" just can't seem to make peace with the pope, start kissing his ring again, and just admit that they are really cathylicks. They still claim they have Apostolic Succession, still maintain the liturgy and all those homer vestments, and rejoice in all that monochromatic medieval music. Their so-called church got started because King Henry VIII wanted to wander around with his tallywhacker. Let's face it, they are going to have to do something soon. When the current Queen dies, the next in line will be that inbred imbecile wanker, Prince Charles. Eventually they will all be swearing their oaths of allegiance and canonical obedience to his highnesses' wandering tallywhacker, all in honor of their founder Henry VIII.

[Sister Noddy]

Re: Greetings from the Academy

I take it you don't teach, nor tell men what to do, but keep silent during services? What is the point in your being a "minister" considering the limited role that women can play in church service?

No, we don't tell men what to do, Joshua. We don't have to. It is not that women are limited. Each vested person of the altar party has a role to play, a specific function during the Eucharist. It's a matter of clergy (ordained priests) and ministers; the priests tell the ministers what to do; our functions have nothing to do with gender.

Go to my post (#12) earlier in this thread.

[Joshua Brooks]

Re: Greetings from the Academy

Praise the Lord! It always make me happy to see a nigra (ex) who have overcame his natural urges to rape white ladies and who have chose to come to the LORD instead! I noticeded thatchoo haves some pretty thin eyebrows. One o' my boys haves that same problem (apparently, this be a problem fo' a lotta nigra males), so I had put some o' that rogaine stuff on his eyebrows and it workeded like a charm! Thickened 'em right up! I highly recommends it if you doesn't want folks spreadin' rumors thatchoo is a eyebrow pluckedin' homer.

Rogaine?... umm, ok...

I had no idea that having thin eyebrows was a homosexual trend.

[Joshua Brooks]

Re: Greetings from the Academy

It seems our Lord Jesus Christ has helped you pass the paper bag test, Mr. Brooks. Congratulations and welcome!

I always wondered about that test. Seemed to dictate which housing facilities you stayed in. Everyone in our dormitory was fairly light in complexion. All the brown skinned students were sent to another school house all together. I believe they had a different curriculum than we did. After that first day when we were sorted out I never saw the very dark skinned students ever again.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Greetings from the Academy

AAARRRGGGHHH

Waddaya mean, pay you $50. a month? That Gold Tither subscription is for 365 days, a whole year, Brother T

Do you even know what the word "Tithe" means? It means 10% of your income. Are you trying to tell us that you live on $5,000 a year?

Don't try and rob Jesus.

Lev 27:32 And concerning the tithe of the herd, or of the flock, [even] of whatsoever passeth under the rod, the tenth shall be holy unto the LORD.

Mal 3:8 Will a man rob God? Yet ye have robbed me. But ye say, Wherein have we robbed thee? In tithes and offerings.

[Joshua Brooks]

Re: Greetings from the Academy

To be serious, Joshua, yes I am an Episcopalian and a Lay Eucharistic Minister, licensed by the Bishop to give Holy Communion at the altar with the ordained clergy.

~1 Timothy 2: 11-12~
Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection.
But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.

I take it you don't teach, nor tell men what to do, but keep silent during services? What is the point in your being a "minister" considering the limited role that women can play in church service?

[Sister Noddy]

Re: Greetings from the Academy

That, two hundred years and the Atlantic Ocean pretty well sum the difference.



Bless you, my future Tammy Faye,
Father Mo

Who meeeeeeeeee? a future Tammy Faye? how? from hanging around the Baptists?

Noooooooooo I don't think so ... not to worry! ... not panicking!

I shall remain forever an ... you know ...

[Sista Lateefah]

Re: Greetings from the Academy

Greetings fellow Christians,

Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Joshua J. Brooks, student body president of the senior Ex-Negro Academy, and valedictorian of the class of 2007.

Praise the Lord! It always make me happy to see a nigra (ex) who have overcame his natural urges to rape white ladies and who have chose to come to the LORD instead! I noticeded thatchoo haves some pretty thin eyebrows. One o' my boys haves that same problem (apparently, this be a problem fo' a lotta nigra males), so I had put some o' that rogaine stuff on his eyebrows and it workeded like a charm! Thickened 'em right up! I highly recommends it if you doesn't want folks spreadin' rumors thatchoo is a eyebrow pluckedin' homer.

[Father Maurice Lester]

Re: Greetings from the Academy

I'm not a Brit, Father Mo, I'm an American... I happen to have good dental insurance, and good teeth.

That, two hundred years and the Atlantic Ocean pretty well sum the difference.



Bless you, my future Tammy Faye,
Father Mo

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Greetings from the Academy

Waddaya mean, pay you $50. a month? That Gold Tither subscription is for 365 days, a whole year, Brother T

Well, don't blame me if you find yourself booted for being a cheapskate come August 1st. :bee:

And NO, I don't perform weddings. Our church does not recognize same-sex marriages, either.

Have you told the rest of the global Episcopgaylian community about this?

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: Greetings from the Academy

Odd that a person of supposed faith in Jesus Christ, our Lord and Saviour, would proffer money to a cult that espouses hatred and intolerance.

Indeed. I've heard of supposed Christians who have proffered money to the Roman institution, and I find that very odd.