Salutations, comrades

[Brother Alex]

Re: Salutations, comrades

He wrote it through the guidance of the Holy Flying Spaghetti Monster, so technically the Flying Spaghetti Monster wrote it.

Could you please show me some evidence for your claims?

And you never answered my question properly: Why do you hate Jesus?

[CraterFace]

Re: Salutations, comrades

They wrote it through the guidance of the Holy Spirit, so technically God wrote it.

And this book you linked to was not written by a "Flying Spaghetti Monster", but some dumb Godmocker named Bobby Henderson.

He wrote it through the guidance of the Holy Flying Spaghetti Monster, so technically the Flying Spaghetti Monster wrote it.

[Brother Alex]

Re: Salutations, comrades

http://www.amazon.com/Gospel-Flying-.../dp/0812976568

Not to mention that 'God' didn't write the Bible. People wrote it. You claim that it was inspired by God.

They wrote it through the guidance of the Holy Spirit, so technically God wrote it.

And this book you linked to was not written by a "Flying Spaghetti Monster", but some dumb Godmocker named Bobby Henderson.

[CraterFace]

Re: Salutations, comrades

Well, has your "Flying Spaghetti Monster" ever written a best selling book?



Didn't think so.

http://www.amazon.com/Gospel-Flying-Spaghetti-Monster/dp/0812976568

Not to mention that 'God' didn't write the Bible. People wrote it. You claim that it was inspired by God.

[Brother Alex]

Re: Salutations, comrades

I find that the Flying Spaghetti Monster is a much more logical explanation for the creation of the universe.

Well, has your "Flying Spaghetti Monster" ever written a best selling book?



Didn't think so.

[CraterFace]

Re: Salutations, comrades

Friend, you came here for a reason. Jesus wants you to be Saved© so why don't you begin with telling us why you hate Him so much? It's never too late to get Saved© you know.

'Saved' is not a copyrighted word, and it's ridiculous to treat it as such.

Now then, I do not hate your god. Rather, I find that the Flying Spaghetti Monster is a much more logical explanation for the creation of the universe.

[Brother Alex]

Re: Salutations, comrades

I'm not understanding how any of my post was insulting. I was sharing my genuine religious experience.

Well, if guys like you go to Heaven, Hell may not be so bad.

Friend, you came here for a reason. Jesus wants you to be Saved© so why don't you begin with telling us why you hate Him so much? It's never too late to get Saved© you know.

[CraterFace]

Re: Salutations, comrades

Young lady, we are actually blessed by your insults. The more you persecute us, the closer we are to the kingdom of heaven.

Matthew 5:10:
Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Enjoy Hell.

I'm not understanding how any of my post was insulting. I was sharing my genuine religious experience.

Well, if guys like you go to Heaven, Hell may not be so bad.

[Brother Alex]

Re: Salutations, comrades

<<hate and insults>>

Young lady, we are actually blessed by your insults. The more you persecute us, the closer we are to the kingdom of heaven.

Matthew 5:10:
Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Enjoy Hell.

[CraterFace]

Re: Salutations, comrades

Welcome, friend. Where is your Church home? Who is your Pastor? How did you come to walk with Christ? Please share some of your favorite Scripture.

To answer your questions:

1) The Flying Spaghetti Monster does not require a church. He understands that the money could be spent on more important things, such as cures for various fatal illnesses.

2) I have no pastor, due to the previous answer.

3) It's an interesting story, really.

One night, I was walking home from school. I noticed something out of the corner of my eye. I thought it was a man, but I soon realized that it was a black person disguised as a human. He let out a battle cry and proceeded to rip my pants off.

Suddenly, Jesus rocketed down from Skyland and punched the black person in the face. The mighty ape roared in pain and grabbed Jesus by the throat. But, Jesus was not at a loss. He used Za Warudo and froze time. He then grabbed my hand and we went for a pleasant walk through time.

And that is how I came to walk with Jesus.

My personal favorite Scriptures are the ones that describe God's likeness to a unicorn. After reading them, I realized that the Judeo-Christian God was actually the Invisible Pink Unicorn, explaining why Christians are so intolerant of the Flying Spaghetti Monster and Pastafarianism.

[Brother Alex]

Re: Salutations, comrades

Welcome to God's favorite forum. If it's Salvation™ you're looking for, you've come to the right place.

[Jedediah]

Re: Salutations, comrades

Welcome, friend. Where is your Church home? Who is your Pastor? How did you come to walk with Christ? Please share some of your favorite Scripture.

[CraterFace]

I joined this forum so that I could post in the 'Questions Evolutionists Can't Answer' thread, but there's no reason why I cannot introduce my self in a gentlemanly manner.

So, again, I say, salutations.