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  • Cranky Old Man
    replied
    Re: God rides a Harley

    Originally posted by Charli Harley View Post
    With my hand on the KJV 1611 I swear that I am still a virgin.
    Then why are you own quotes not even from the KJV1611 .

    Leave a comment:


  • Sister Charli
    replied
    Re: God rides a Harley

    It is not like I have been riding all my life. Daddy bought me a Dyna Lowrider for my 30th birthday. I have upgraded a few times over the last 17 years since then tho.

    But I promise you I have never ridden a Japanese bike or any other chink brand.

    No one and no thing has ever entered me down below.

    With my hand on the KJV 1611 I swear that I am still a virgin.

    Leave a comment:


  • Sister Charli
    replied
    Re: God rides a Harley

    Originally posted by Mrs. Rogers View Post
    This is a useless fantasy on your part, as you have already deflowered yourself. To be blunt (and somewhat graphic -- may GOD forgive me), riding a motorbike is akin to riding a horse: neither activity is suitable for young unmarried ladies, as such activities always cause a rupturing of the hymen (I know this to be true as it makes perfect sense to me). This should not be confused with rapturing of the hymen, which is what happens when one submits oneself to her husband on her wedding night.

    You are second-hand goods, dear. Best you commit to a life of repentant celibacy, begging JESUS for forgiveness at every opportunity.
    But Mrs Rogers.

    My father will vouch for my virginity.

    Deuteronomy 22:13-18

    “If any man takes a wife and goes in to her and then hates her and accuses her of misconduct and brings a bad name upon her, saying, ‘I took this woman, and when I came near her, I did not find in her evidence of virginity,’ then the father of the young woman and her mother shall take and bring out the evidence of her virginity to the elders of the city in the gate. And the father of the young woman shall say to the elders, ‘I gave my daughter to this man to marry, and he hates her; and behold, he has accused her of misconduct, saying, “I did not find in your daughter evidence of virginity.” And yet this is the evidence of my daughter's virginity.’ And they shall spread the cloak before the elders of the city.

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  • Mrs. Rogers
    replied
    Re: God rides a Harley

    Originally posted by Charli Harley View Post
    I am saving myself for my wedding night.
    This is a useless fantasy on your part, as you have already deflowered yourself. To be blunt (and somewhat graphic -- may GOD forgive me), riding a motorbike is akin to riding a horse: neither activity is suitable for young unmarried ladies, as such activities always cause a rupturing of the hymen (I know this to be true as it makes perfect sense to me). This should not be confused with rapturing of the hymen, which is what happens when one submits oneself to her husband on her wedding night.

    You are second-hand goods, dear. Best you commit to a life of repentant celibacy, begging JESUS for forgiveness at every opportunity.

    Leave a comment:


  • Sister Charli
    replied
    Re: God rides a Harley

    Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
    You present yourself as a whore, and you don't attend church. 'Nuff said.
    You are most unkind Paster Ezekial.

    How can you label a virgin as a whore?

    All my life I have waited for Jesus to provide me with a husband.

    I do not even touch myself down below other than very briefly when showering and toileting and have never shown it to another.

    My nearest Christian church is 500 miles away and I will not got to cult meetings like the Catholicks or the other false god worshipping "religions".

    I spend hours locked in my prayer cupboard daily, on bended knee, self flagellating begging and pleading for God to send me a good virile fertile Christian husband so that I have time to add to God's Army with lots of little soldiers.

    You have made me very upset Paster Ezekiel. No one has ever called me a whore before.

    Leave a comment:


  • Pastor Ezekiel
    replied
    Re: God rides a Harley

    Originally posted by Charli Harley View Post
    I notice that the lovely Felicity has a virgin badge.

    How do I receive one of these?

    How do I prove it?

    I am saving myself for my wedding night.
    You present yourself as a whore, and you don't attend church. 'Nuff said.

    Leave a comment:


  • Sister Charli
    replied
    Re: God rides a Harley

    I notice that the lovely Felicity has a virgin badge.

    How do I receive one of these?

    How do I prove it?

    I am saving myself for my wedding night.

    Leave a comment:


  • Sister Charli
    replied
    Re: God rides a Harley

    Originally posted by Brother Batty View Post
    One thing to get straight lady.
    Nobody rides my Scoot but me and I ain't no Bitch on back for nobody.
    Whoooops ..... my mistake.

    I mistook you for a Christian.

    Should the Lord Jesus Christ want to ride my bike I would hand over the key.

    Praise be to Him.

    Leave a comment:


  • Rapture Eddie
    replied
    Re: God rides a Harley

    Originally posted by Charli Harley View Post
    Brother Batty,

    I see from your avatar attire and your location that you too love to ride.

    Might we agree that God is in fact the "trinity"?

    Whilst God the Father and God the Holy Spirit are indeed omnipresent, would you just ride on by and allow God the Son (our beloved Jesus) to wear his feet to blisters in those awful roman sandals.

    I put it to you Brother Batty, that you would pull up your Iron Horse and give him your pillion seat. In fact, I even go so far as to suggest that you might give him the handlebars and you take the rear. (I mean that with no sexual connotation implied.)
    I can easily forgive your simple addled female brain for getting confused.

    Of course God is the Trinity. The Father, The Son and The Holy Spirit.

    As I said, Jesus don't need to ride nowhere. He is with us day, night, come rain come shine, and even when you are in there washing all your filthy Lady Parts in the shower. Jesus is there, watching you, making sure you don't go touching them dirty parts for any longer than needed.

    One thing to get straight lady.
    Nobody rides my Scoot but me and I ain't no Bitch on back for nobody.

    Leave a comment:


  • Sister Charli
    replied
    Re: God rides a Harley

    Brother Batty,

    I see from your avatar attire and your location that you too love to ride.

    Might we agree that God is in fact the "trinity"?

    Whilst God the Father and God the Holy Spirit are indeed omnipresent, would you just ride on by and allow God the Son (our beloved Jesus) to wear his feet to blisters in those awful roman sandals.

    I put it to you Brother Batty, that you would pull up your Iron Horse and give him your pillion seat. In fact, I even go so far as to suggest that you might give him the handlebars and you take the rear. (I mean that with no sexual connotation implied.)

    Leave a comment:


  • Rapture Eddie
    replied
    Re: God rides a Harley

    Now, we have to get one thing straight right here, right now.
    God doesn't ride anything.
    God doesn't need to ride anything.
    God is Omnipresent. He is everywhere at the same time. He don't need no Scoot.

    God CREATED the Motorcycle as an aid to man so we can go out there and spread THE GOOD NEWS about OUR LORD AND SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST.

    Whether those Sinners want to hear it or not.

    Leave a comment:


  • Sister Charli
    replied
    Re: God rides a Harley

    Originally posted by HTannor View Post



    ........and ended up here using the name Charli.
    Good morning HTannor.

    And what a beautiful day our Lord has given us.

    We will rejoice and be glad in it.

    As for the T shirt .... I think you have me confused with someone else.

    This is my one.

    Leave a comment:


  • HTannor
    replied
    Re: God rides a Harley




    ........and ended up here using the name Charli.

    Leave a comment:


  • Marcus Aurelius
    replied
    Re: God rides a Harley

    I think he's got his referneces mixed up along with the dates. It was Joshua who arrived after everyone heard his 'Herald'. That was an early triumph model. Either that or its a typo on our blessed 'Heavanly David's Son'.


    Leave a comment:


  • Sister Charli
    replied
    Re: God rides a Harley

    Originally posted by Talitha View Post
    It is everything that a True Christian™ American could ever need.

    [ATTACH]12394[/ATTACH]

    [ATTACH]12395[/ATTACH]
    Ostentatious gas guzzler.

    Our Lord Jesus would be much more comfortable on a Harley!!!!

    Leave a comment:

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