[handmaiden]

Re: hey nutjobs

Oh, Paul, you clearly have been led here. Surely the prayers of all good, Godly Believers -- including your father, when he wasn't sodomizing santizing your sister, have led you to to this little slice of bandwidth.

You are hearing that call that prods you to look at the whole Bible and its timeless truths-- truths that have been lost on those who graze only upon the tender parts and refuse to take in the roughage which God uses to cleanse our spiritual colons, (perhaps your father was attmepting to assist in this process with your sister?)

We here at LBC only want to share the truth about the Truth. Your background and experience with living -- or trying to live-- the Biblical life will serve our cause, but first, you must open your eyes fully. You see hate and ignorance, where we intend love and wisdom. Read deeply of our words and of The Word. You will know the path that you must follow.

Invitingly Yours,

Handmaiden

[Jo Freddie]

Re: hey nutjobs

Doctors trained at the Landover Baptist University Medical School in Antigua spend about 85% of their time learning faith healing and Biblical rememdies. They learn more traditional medicine in the other 15%, just in case Jesus happens to be busy when He is needed.

I still think you are missing the point of his question.

I think you are missing a point Jimmy, why do you attempt to prolong your life either via faith healing or medicine modern or otherwise?

Surely you can not wait to meet your imaginary friend, of course suicide would kill you off quicker, but being English I understand the importance of queuing and how queue jumping is an abomination, suicide would be queue jumping and your imaginary friend might not like it.

[James Hutchins]

Re: hey nutjobs

Well that just isnt nice. Their religion might seem crazy to you with the six armed cow and having sex with goats, but just sit back and think about your religion for a sec. The belief that a cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree..
Yea freaking stupidddd =D

Zombie??? There are no zombies in the KJV. I think you need to stuff huffing deodorant, son.

God is Jesus and Jesus is God. I am my fathers son and my sons father. What is the big deal?

We do not eat Gods flesh, that is what the catlicks do. Another sure sign of O2 deprivation from the huffing.

We do not live forever, we spend eternity in Heaven.

See kiddies, this 'person' is the result of living like a heathen. Probably has sex with abominations too.

[WWJDnow]

Re: hey nutjobs

I have a few questions, If you can answer them with sense, then 1-0 to you

Great, we love questions.

Do you guys allow yourself to use modern medicine?
if so, why? dying a natural death is a-okay in Jesus' eyes, and you cant wait to meet him can you?

Doctors trained at the Landover Baptist University Medical School in Antigua spend about 85% of their time learning faith healing and Biblical rememdies. They learn more traditional medicine in the other 15%, just in case Jesus happens to be busy when He is needed.

I believe that religion is something created by man to give the stupid and the poor something to look forward to, so they can lose themselves in the idea of heaven, ignoring that they are living sub-par lives. Your comment?

Some people believe strange things. You're among them.

Does god save trough prayer? does he cure the ill? Why haven't he ever cured any amputees?

How do you know that God hasn't cured any amputees?

whats the difference between you and Jews?

For starters, we aren't responsible for all of the righteous throughout the ages being killed. Jesus said that was the Jews' fault.

is America the only properly acceptable place in the world to be religious? because to the rest of the world, you are all the most heathenish, villainous, racist people in the public eye

Some people believe strange things. The Europeans are among them.

do you believe in terrorism?

Yes, as long as there will be Muslims, there will be terrorism.

do you condone terrorism?

Of course not, we're not Muslims. We only believe in genocide and torture and killing when God tells us to.

what about necessary deaths? are they acceptable?

I don't understand the question.

how do you know that you are not under the spell of Lucifer the morning star?

God told us that we aren't.

He is the biggest scam artist in the world, and wouldn't it make sense if he forced you to live horrible lives without you knowing? like beating people, resisting the pleasures nature have given us(sexuality, beauty, love), being introvertial, cause hate, live hate and breed hate.(as you basically do with your elitist ways)

Satan certainly tries to do all that. The only defense is Jesus.

and now, a small rant

OK. I skipped that part.

My father used to beat me, not for being gay, not for being crude, but for the masturbation I MIGHT do\have done

You're lucky to have had a father who cared about you that much.

[Oh_my_thewichisdead]

Re: hey nutjobs

There is nothing wrong with modern medicine. Nowhere in the Bible is there a prohibition against modern medicine. I think a good balance for a healthy life is a mixture of modern prescription drugs coupled with faith healing. In fact, faith healing works better than modern medicine. But, the point is there is nothing wrong with modern medicine.




The people at Landover are neither stupid nor poor. Our pastors are highly wealthy and we have college degrees. But, I think you do have a point when it comes to religions like Islam or Hinduism. Poor idiots will believe in anything, whether it's praying to a six-armed cow or having sex with goats to appease the moon god.



Yes.
Matthew 21:22 And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive.
Also, yes and yes. I have helped cure people of AIDS and cancer and have seen limbs regenerate over time.



The difference is we accept Christ as our savior. They don't pray to the same God as us because they believe that God is YHWH, whereas we believe in a triune God of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.



That sounds like quite the racist statement. To think that all Americans are like that. And you call us racist?



No, no, yes.



How can a star influence us? What are you an astrologer?

Deuteronomy 18:10 There shall not be found among you any one that maketh his son or his daughter to pass through the fire, or that useth divination, or an observer of times, or an enchanter, or a witch.
Deuteronomy 18:11 Or a charmer, or a consulter with familiar spirits, or a wizard, or a necromancer.



tl;dr

Well that just isnt nice. Their religion might seem crazy to you with the six armed cow and having sex with goats, but just sit back and think about your religion for a sec. The belief that a cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree..
Yea freaking stupidddd =D

[JustGotSaved]

Re: hey nutjobs

I'm not good at the quote button,

"In the words of the Great Prophet Zarquon "hello everybody, sorry I'm late, had a terrible time, all sorts of things cropping up at the last moment. How are we for time? Er..."


Hitchhikers' Guide to the Galaxy. Probably the radio version. Could be the book version, but i didn't like the books as they were written this

way, or maybe

it

was

like this. Lots of very

very

large amounts of whitespace.

[Lizzy b]

Re: hey nutjobs

It's not harming anyone being a religious person...
So if we died and there was no god...well we were wrong and you were right...oh well sh... happens...

If there was no god, then we'd all be in a dark coffin...and then if there was a god some of us would be in Paradise and some in Hellfire

There's no if where God is involved. There IS a God. There is Heaven and Hell. And maybe I am confused by your post, but I am reading alot of doubt in your words.

[Jo Freddie]

Re: hey nutjobs

In the words of the Great Prophet Zarquon "hello everybody, sorry I'm late, had a terrible time, all sorts of things cropping up at the last moment. How are we for time? Er..."

A lot of points in this thread but I will just look at one.

Do you guys allow yourself to use modern medicine?
if so, why? dying a natural death is a-okay in Jesus' eyes, and you cant wait to meet him can you?

There is nothing wrong with modern medicine. Nowhere in the Bible is there a prohibition against modern medicine. I think a good balance for a healthy life is a mixture of modern prescription drugs coupled with faith healing. In fact, faith healing works better than modern medicine. But, the point is there is nothing wrong with modern medicine.

I think you are missing a point Jimmy, why do you attempt to prolong your life either via faith healing or medicine modern or otherwise?

Surely you can not wait to meet your imaginary friend, of course suicide would kill you off quicker, but being English I understand the importance of queuing and how queue jumping is an abomination, suicide would be queue jumping and your imaginary friend might not like it.

[Warner S. Davidson]

Re: hey nutjobs

Hello Paul Mitchell Jr.

Can I call you Junior? You would not believe the number of folk who come to the Landover Baptist Church just like yourself. They have spent 25 or more years looking for God in all the wrong places and eventually God directs them here to find Him.

Praise Jesus. Your search is over Junior.

Sister Charli -

Wise words........Praise Jesus

As everyone knows many have been directed here by the hand of Jesus to become Saved™

Hopefully Junior will see some sense regardless of his rudeness, ignorant Catlick views and his flawed secular education as an Astrologer-physicist.

A simple apology and a small tithing contribution by Junior will allow us all to get off to a fresh start.

[Sister Charli]

Re: hey nutjobs

I wanted to believe in god for the first 25 years of my life, because I had grown up with the "fact" that god is our undisputed creator for the first 15 years.

Hello Paul Mitchell Jr.

Can I call you Junior? You would not believe the number of folk who come to the Landover Baptist Church just like yourself. They have spent 25 or more years looking for God in all the wrong places and eventually God directs them here to find Him.

Praise Jesus. Your search is over Junior.

John 14:6 (King James Version)
6 Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.

[BelieverInGod]

Re: hey nutjobs

It's not harming anyone being a religious person...
So if we died and there was no god...well we were wrong and you were right...oh well sh... happens...

If there was no god, then we'd all be in a dark coffin...and then if there was a god some of us would be in Paradise and some in Hellfire

PREACH IT SISTER

Oops, you're the Muslim, aren't you. Won't you please turn back to Christianity? I hate to think of a wonderful woman like yourself burning for eternity.

[Brother Snapper Grogan]

Re: hey nutjobs

I get so tired of people barging in here uninvited and then start sayong rude things about us.

Listen, Paul - it's simple: we follow the immutable word of God to the letter. When you badmouth us you badmouth Him, and you know what the result of that is.

If you think that we're failing in any way to follow His commands, then show us where and how. We'll thank you for pointing out any errors - particularly if you do it politely.

If all you want to do is spit in His eye, then you might as well just run yourself a bath of molten sulfer and start violating yourself with red hot barbed wire, just to get used to it.

[Ummalummadingdong]

Re: hey nutjobs

It's not harming anyone being a religious person...
So if we died and there was no god...well we were wrong and you were right...oh well sh... happens...

If there was no god, then we'd all be in a dark coffin...and then if there was a god some of us would be in Paradise and some in Hellfire

[Lisa H]

Re: hey nutjobs

I thought this thread was going to have something to do with people who work in the food sector with nuts.

Once again, these atheists have come to scorn & mock.

Matthew 5:10 Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

[A Follower]

Re: hey nutjobs

are you for real? are you so self centered and narrow minded that you thought I meant YOU, the people of this forum. I hope you understand that when you became a Cristian, you also signed up to protect Christianity forever. and doing that means having to repent\justify what you did in the past, aswell as the present..
I don't even believe you meant that, I hope you are trolling me mate..
also: you burn witches and gays.. you! the follower!¨

Yes, I'm a real person, when you insult me you actually insult a real person.

When I found God I signed up to follow His laws, no more, no less.

You never stick to your word, Christianity is the single biggest cause of war in human history, but you preach nothing but justice and peace..

Again unfounded accusations... Please point out one unjust war by Christians.

And Christians are the single biggest cause of war? You are quite mistaken. The largest number of wars have been caused by muslims, the biggest wars and mass killings have been caused by atheists.

not you baptists tho, you are pretty spot on in your behavior, but even that is basically unacceptable in a society

Yes, we are quite aware that society in some countries frowns up on law abiding and respectful behavior. That does not make us wrong, nor is it unexpected:

Matthew 5:10
Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

I never claimed that you were involved with the burning of witches and gays, but Christians surely were.

Really? Then what does this piece of text mean?

you burn witches and gays.. you! the follower!

I'm known here as A Follower, the entire post was directed at me, I can see no other way to interpret this as accusing me.

And read the post Timofey made, he said there was nothing wrong with it..
MOST rational people would say that that sentence is cruder than anything I have said on this forum put together. I wouldn't kill you even if I had the chance, I just want safety for my family and the future.

If you want safety for yourself and your family you had best accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior. Eternal burning in hell is not generally considered a safe future. Nor are you likely to live in safety if you continue your current deathstyle, there will come a day when you insult the wrong people and you'll be punished for it (if God doesn't smite you first).

but I'm sure none of you is going to berate Timofey for his post, because he is on your side.

If you have a problem with Timofey's words you are more than welcome to quote Scripture explaining him how he has erred.

well no, atheism is the belief system that is having the biggest increase of new arrivals each year.
this does not reflect upon weather or not you have signed yourself out of the church you follow, it was a study done by FHI (public health institute of norway) back in 2003 or something.

Because a public health institute in Norway would know what religion I adhere to... And again you provide no evidence whatsoever for your assertions. You are beginning to sound like one of them scientists, always making stuff up.

A quick Google search shows for example http://www.religioustolerance.org/worldrel.htm which clearly shows the amount of people without religion dropping while most Christian religions are gaining followers (over 1.5 billion in the last 100 years).

If Christianity were correct in any way, you wouldn't have any problem answering any question I have,

Despite your attitude all your questions were answered.

and if you don't want to, there's always this neat little X up in the top right corner, some call it "the problemsolver", but if you can't, then you must realize that you are lacking some vital information about yourself

Funny, here I was thinking you invaded our forum with insults. If you hate God so much why don't you press the X? Or is something keeping you here? Is something telling you there is more to life than insults and atheism? Maybe God is trying to tell you something by leading you here... Why don't you pick up a Bible and see what He can do for you!