Ive accepted Jesus but now I have another problem

[WWJDnow]

Re: Ive accepted Jesus but now I have another problem

In Mexican countries, most of the men are named Jesus or Juan, except for a few with names like Hilario and such as that....

Only a tribe of barbarians would have the gall to name their children Jesus. It is things like this that makes the Lord hate the Mexicans and that is why he visits volcanos, earthquakes and drought upon them.

I certainly don't condone this blasphemous practice, but, to be honest, I suspect that God is even more upset by kids named Hilario than He is by kids named Jesus.

[Attila's Wife]

Re: Ive accepted Jesus but now I have another problem

Welcome, BeardedOne. It looks like your avatar is upside-down. Maybe a forum administrator could fix that for you?

I think what you have there is not Jesus but The Jesus. Does he look like this?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Ive accepted Jesus but now I have another problem

You look like a gay hippie. Go get a shave for crying out loud. Clean yourself up.

[Alvin Moss]

Re: Ive accepted Jesus but now I have another problem

In Mexican countries, most of the men are named Jesus or Juan, except for a few with names like Hilario and such as that.

I think that Jesus you have in your house is one of those Mexicans named Jesus. The best way to tell is to get him to say his name. If he says "Hay zoos", then he is a Mexican for sure, because that's how they pronounce Jesus in Mexican countries.

They are a blasphemous people, those Mexicans. They are Romans almost entirely. Only a tribe of barbarians would have the gall to name their children Jesus. It is things like this that makes the Lord hate the Mexicans and that is why he visits volcanos, earthquakes and drought upon them.

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Ive accepted Jesus but now I have another problem

hes been hanging around for weeks, eating my food, lying on the couch watching porn

That sounds like a Mexican. You need to get rid of it ASAP before it chains itself to your house. Once that happens all that remains is burning down your house and starting all over from scratch.

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Ive accepted Jesus but now I have another problem

Oh I DO go with God! All the time! Jesus is with me All. The. TIME!

\0/

Say, why don't you tell us a little about yourself? What is your favorite Bible verse, and how did you come to find Jesus?

[TheBeardedOne]

Re: Ive accepted Jesus but now I have another problem

You said it sister. They say 'no good act goes unpunished, how right they are.

go with God

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Ive accepted Jesus but now I have another problem

Those crafty bastards will take credit when it's not theirs, too.

[TheBeardedOne]

Hi,

Im a member of the big church down the road (cant remember the name) but am having a serious problem with my beliefs after a recent incident. It all started after hearing a sermon about accepting Jesus unconditionally into your life. Being the good christian I am, I took the preacher at his word and did just that and the next time Jesus came around to cut my lawn, I took him in. Problem now is, I cant get the lazy bastard outta my house, hes been hanging around for weeks, eating my food, lying on the couch watching porn. I gotta say, apart from the sandals and long hair, Jesus is kinda of a let down.
Any advice please? Im not even sure my lord and saviour has a visa and I cant understand a word his lazy ass says.

Go with god