Jim, here.

[Jim Farmer]

Re: Jim, here.

Thank you Mr Smythe. It's a horrible deed to inseminate the wife. Why are women's bits so ugly? She has a pleasant enough face, but the other end of her torso is, well, revolting. I will put a photo of Kirk Cameron above the bed. Maybe that will make the job easier.


Mrs Whitford. The people of Australia got rid of that thespian Prime Minister, and that Ruddy imposter 12 months ago. We do now have a god-fearing Prime Minister by the name of Tony Abbott. When I say 'god-fearing', he is a papist, but at least he is against abortion and homer marriage. And he's sent troops to massacre ISIL. But, he only has daughters too.
How old would the girl child have to be until I can sell her? Next week?


Mr Man, I will heed your advice and next time pray hard while I gaze at Kirk Cameron's photo.

[Alvin Moss]

Re: Jim, here.

Brother Jim, when the Lord sends lemons, He expects you to make lemonade.

Rather than bemoaning your new daughter, you should remember that a daughter can often bring a good price, especially if she is comely and well trained.

Let that be your goal.

God Bless!

[BrotherLarry]

Re: Jim, here.

I come here distraught. I married my beautiful wife less than a year ago, and she has been for the most part a good housewife and cook. I've needed to discipline her only a few times, and she seems to be a quick learner. For the last several months, I have been eagerly looking forward to the birth of our first son. Yesterday I took her to the hospital. I was elated. But what did she produce? Not a son, but a daughter Do I give her a second chance?

Hi Jim!

Welcome to our friendly forums! I can feel your frustration, brother, all the way from Austria. It's a shame that those Von Trapps can have seven kids, including sons, and here you are with a kid that will never be anything but a dramatic screaming crying bimbo. The important thing to bear in mind as others have pointed out is that at a future date, you'll probably be able to collect a fine sum when you choose a husband for her. There is a blessing in every disappointment, my friend. I will keep you in prayer.

Slap that wife of yours for me and tell her to get this childbearing thing right. Oh - and I happen to know that Zechariah would never steer you wrong, so you might try Pastor Ezekiel's suggestion next time you're in the procreating position.

COME, Lord Jesus!
BrotherLarry

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Jim, here.

What good is a daughter to a man? I cannot hunt with her, I can't teach her to fix a car, I can't even educate her.

I couldn't agree more. Daughters are pointless, useless, annoying and they smell funny.

However, in this particular case, it's not your wife who is to blame but you. Just give her a severe beating anyway, as she no doubt failed at something, but to get a son you need something different: prayer!

Matthew 21:22 - King James Version (KJV)

And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive.

And don't take this lightly. Matthew 21:22 clearly states that if you don't get what you ask for in prayer, you are not a believer. Since Mark 16:16 tells us all unbelievers will burn in Hell, a failed prayer is a clear sign of eternal damnation! So go pray like your eternal salvation depends on it!

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: Jim, here.

Hello, Mr. Farmer, and may I call you by your Australien name - Crocodile Jim?

Anyway, Crocodile Jim, do you still have that Godless commie Crocodile Kevin Rudd or that Godless Letsbemen Crocodile Julia Gillard as your president? If so, I fear there isn't much that you can do. But if you now have a good God-fearing president, perhaps you can approach him about doing right by the Lord and having the Bible made the law the of your jungle hellscape.

Once God's Law is THE law Down Under, you can then sell your daughter as a maidservant as Exodus 21:7 allows you to do. At least then you can make a tidy profit out of your disappointment.

[Jim Farmer]

Re: Jim, here.

Mrs Lizalor, I can assure you she in no thespian!

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: Jim, here.

Hello Mr Farmer. Welcome to the forum.

I CORINTHIANS 11
14 Doth not even nature itself teach you, that, if a man have long hair, it is a shame unto him?
15 But if a woman have long hair, it is a glory to her: for her hair is given her for a covering.
KJV .. look up

I see your hair is well groomed and that you are quite a presentable young man however you have not included a photo of Mrs Farmer. Is there a reason for that? So often after a trip to the trendy hairdressing salon it transpires that nature has been compromised, particularly in Australia.

I am not suggesting that she looks anything like this pair
but perhaps I am speaking out of turn and she does not in fact need disciplining.

Let's face it, Sydney is hardly the world epicentre of haut coiffure.

[Elmer G. White]

Re: Jim, here.

*** ATTENTION: WOMEN READ NO FURTHER, MAN TALK FOLLOWS ***


Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth

Brother Zechariah,

Proverbs 13:10
Only by pride cometh contention: but with the well advised is wisdom.


Thank you! As you know, I find marital duties excruciating and instead of reaching any pinnacle, it's all a bloody mess... I'm going to try this at once as those names were enough to cause a 'stirring' and - as you know - that occurs only once in a blue moon.


Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[Zechariah Smyth]

Re: Jim, here.

Jim, I feel your pain. I have 3 daughters and 1 Son and it's like living in a henhouse with a fox jumping up and down on the roof. I do admit that I eat like a king, though.



*** ATTENTION: WOMEN READ NO FURTHER, MAN TALK FOLLOWS ***

Anyway, I talked about this with Paster Zeke and he said the secret is to look at a photo of a manly True Christian™ man while giving your wife the business. I've tried it with:

- H.R. Haldeman

- Glenn Beck

- Kirk Cameron

No success yet, but lemme tellya the dirty deed is over lickety-split when I'm looking at those guys...they are truly a Godly inspiration!



Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth

[Dr Laurence Niles]

Re: Jim, here.

I come here distraught. I married my beautiful wife less than a year ago, and she has been for the most part a good housewife and cook. I've needed to discipline her only a few times, and she seems to be a quick learner. For the last several months, I have been eagerly looking forward to the birth of our first son. Yesterday I took her to the hospital. I was elated. But what did she produce? Not a son, but a daughter Do I give her a second chance?


What good is a daughter to a man? I cannot hunt with her, I can't teach her to fix a car, I can't even educate her.


Oh, my favourite verse from the Bible is And out of his mouth goeth a sharp sword, that with it he should smite the nations: and he shall rule them with a rod of iron: and he treadeth the winepress of the fierceness and wrath of Almighty God. Revelation 19:15. It reminds me of the Lord's wrath and keeps me on the straight and narrow.

Maybe you should ask yourself what you have done for Jesus that He should gft you with a boy child?

Romans 3:23 "For all have sinned, and fall short of the glory of God."
Romans 3:10 "There is none righteous; no, not one."

YIC

[Elmer G. White]

Re: Jim, here.

That verse has always bothered me. It sounds like Philip's daughters were witches!

Jim,

The Apostle is visiting the house of Philip, the evangelist. He would not have witches for daughters, would he? It's all about context, contemplation and prayer upon the verse.

The prophesying here is like giving a powerful testimony for Jesus our LORD. Please do not confuse it with teaching or giving sermons - false Churches are often distinguished by their giving women the false right to TEACH, Thus, these daughters are in this respect similar to our True Christian™ ladies who give their pious testimonials in this Godly Forum.

You can also be comforted by the fact that after a decade you can marry the female offspring off and offer her the chance of personal Salvation unless Rapture occurs and the unsaved children enter Hell.

1 Timothy 2:15
Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.


Personally, I think that the End of Days is extremely near!



Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[Jim Farmer]

Re: Jim, here.

Acts 21:9 And the same man had four daughters, virgins, which did prophesy.

the above verse gives you one idea how the ancients utilized half-children.

That verse has always bothered me. It sounds like Philip's daughters were witches!

[Elmer G. White]

Re: Jim, here.

I come here distraught. I married my beautiful wife less than a year ago, and she has been for the most part a good housewife and cook. I've needed to discipline her only a few times, and she seems to be a quick learner. For the last several months, I have been eagerly looking forward to the birth of our first son. Yesterday I took her to the hospital. I was elated. But what did she produce? Not a son, but a daughter Do I give her a second chance?


What good is a daughter to a man? I cannot hunt with her, I can't teach her to fix a car, I can't even educate her.


Oh, my favourite verse from the Bible is And out of his mouth goeth a sharp sword, that with it he should smite the nations: and he shall rule them with a rod of iron: and he treadeth the winepress of the fierceness and wrath of Almighty God. Revelation 19:15. It reminds me of the Lord's wrath and keeps me on the straight and narrow.

Hello, Jim, a tentative welcome to you.

You seem to be a God-fearing man. It is wonderful to have full boy children (as I do) but half-children are also future vessels for new soldiers of Christ. There are also other uses.

Acts 21:9 And the same man had four daughters, virgins, which did prophesy.

the above verse gives you one idea how the ancients utilized half-children.

If you immerse yourself in prayer and constant Bible study, I'm sure that God will provide if you're pious enough!

Hebrews 11:40 God having provided some better thing for us, that they without us should not be made perfect.


Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[Jim Farmer]

I come here distraught. I married my beautiful wife less than a year ago, and she has been for the most part a good housewife and cook. I've needed to discipline her only a few times, and she seems to be a quick learner. For the last several months, I have been eagerly looking forward to the birth of our first son. Yesterday I took her to the hospital. I was elated. But what did she produce? Not a son, but a daughter Do I give her a second chance?


What good is a daughter to a man? I cannot hunt with her, I can't teach her to fix a car, I can't even educate her.


Oh, my favourite verse from the Bible is And out of his mouth goeth a sharp sword, that with it he should smite the nations: and he shall rule them with a rod of iron: and he treadeth the winepress of the fierceness and wrath of Almighty God. Revelation 19:15. It reminds me of the Lord's wrath and keeps me on the straight and narrow.