[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Re: Santa's Gift Registry 2022. I SHALL DELIVER!!

Santa, enough about us! Let us buy pass on a gift to you made out of the holiday spirit of 12 year olds. Each mouthful is 1100 calories and you will end up with broken teeth unless observing extreme caution. The cookies aren't bad either - this batch is grated seaweed and raw pork fat.

[Santa Claus]

Re: Santa's Gift Registry 2022. I SHALL DELIVER!!

Santa, enough about us! Let us buy pass on a gift to you made out of the holiday spirit of 12 year olds. Each mouthful is 1100 calories and you will end up with broken teeth unless observing extreme caution. The cookies aren't bad either - this batch is grated seaweed and raw pork fat.

Tony, or should I still call you Tiny-Tony or Just-moderately-tiny Tiny after your most recent surgical intervention! Never forget that my plastic models gave you the inspiration to enhance some of your more modest properties.

Anyways, gee, this is swell! Jolly wonderful! Utterly kind of you and Rudolph sends you his gratitude. As a token of his appreciation of this gift that he'll ruminate for a while, I'll deliver you this academic tableau of ruminant intestinal anatomy, in this case, a lamb. Please be nice and remember to share it with that young Welsh shepherd special friend of yours. If not absolutely necessary, you can cut the lower left portion of the tableau off when he borrows it for his advanced education.

[WWJDnow]

Re: Santa's Gift Registry 2022. I SHALL DELIVER!!

I would like a 24kt gold plated, life-sized statue of my Second Savior, President Donald J. Trump. Like all Trump products, it can be plastic underneath. If that's too tall an order, then could you resurrect Rush Limbaugh? We need him now more than ever.

[Santa Claus]

Re: Santa's Gift Registry 2022. I SHALL DELIVER!!

I would like a 24kt gold plated, life-sized statue of my Second Savior, President Donald J. Trump. Like all Trump products, it can be plastic underneath. If that's too tall an order, then could you resurrect Rush Limbaugh? We need him now more than ever.

Ho! If it isn't little Willy Wankah Jamal Darling of yonderyear! Your nice vs. naughty balance is in nice working order but you might - just might - have gotten more valuable gifts last Christmas when I gave you my figurative heart but the very next day you had to make manic jokes about it. That said, I shall deliver. However, are you quite sure that a golden Trump in behalf of a calf is a wise move to own in your community? AND, furthermore and moreover, I can do BETTER.

Instead of an idol I can and shall give you a RELIC. These are genuine nail clippings of Donald Trumps toenails delivered by Trump Tower's Janitor Jesus Maria José's Abuela, who used to clean Trump's bathroom (and yours and everyone's and she never had a name unless 'Hey you' is one). Aren't they swell!?



And here's the complimentary jar of genuine plastic where you can store these objects of your veneration!



I am sure that this'll be your bestest Christmas ever! The jar is for nail clippings only, not for any liquid discharge. You got those in 2019. As for the expected exhumation - I still don't deliver people except of these tiny bits of discarded debris.

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: Toole's gift

I must say I'm rather envious of your lovely cruet set.

[Santa Claus]

Re: Toole's gift

I must say I'm rather envious of your lovely cruet set.

Ho... Mitzy-Nitzy, you're really milking the cow for sympathy and plastic items, aren't you? If it weren't for your niceness, my sack of rooster butt feathers would be sailing towards your chimney as we speak. Alas (1), I'm a kind old but vigorous and surprisingly muscular man. Alas (2), my stock of Trump statuettes is out or order. It seems that my elves were a bit over-generous with the whining requests of Alabaman, Mississippi and Texan 50-65 yo men who absolutely demanded that I send them one of those plastic Trump decorative pieces this Christmas and also demanded that they be dishwasher-safe. No idea why. Alas (3), no Trumpies left but, fortunately, you'll be enjoying of the last remaining Putin statuettes that belong to the same series of genuine plastic toys for your entertainment! Ho.



P.S. The Texan elves informed me that the statuettes can be kept clean by immersing them in bourbon in case they are soiled, so that's something you may consider. No extra bourbon anymore this Christmas, however.

[Unfalsifiable]

Re: Santa's Gift Registry 2022. I SHALL DELIVER!!

I would like a year-long pass to the Copper-Tier parking lot at Landover Baptist Church.

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Re: Santa's Gift Registry 2022. I SHALL DELIVER!!

I would like a year-long pass to the Copper-Tier parking lot at Landover Baptist Church.

Friend, you may as well ask for a free pass into Heaven. Santa can't give you that!

[Dennis Lukes]

Re: Santa's Gift Registry 2022. I SHALL DELIVER!!

Friend, you may as well ask for a free pass into Heaven. Santa can't give you that!

He sure can't, but he could do something pretty close: just ask for a KJV Bible.

[Santa Claus]

Re: Santa's Gift Registry 2022. I SHALL DELIVER!!

I would like a year-long pass to the Copper-Tier parking lot at Landover Baptist Church.

Ho Oh Dear... That won't help you pass gas, which is your principal problem these days. You should walk or jog, as that will help the entrapped gas escape the large intestine, and yours is admittedly quite large. As a supplement to the exercise schedule, I'll pass some nice pills into your nylon stockings this Christmas night.

[Santa Claus]

Re: Santa's Gift Registry 2022. I SHALL DELIVER!!

Friend, you may as well ask for a free pass into Heaven. Santa can't give you that!

Frankly, my Dear, nor can Jesus Baby. His pass costs you dearly, you need to abandon rational thinking, trust without evidence and have the faith thingy, the reason for the season that people give when they have no actual evidence.




I, on the other hand, am oozing with evidence with every Christmas plastic thingy you get. And for this Christmas only, I'll give you some actual evidence. Don't worry about the glass container, there are some nice plastics embedded within the nozzle. Ho, Tony-boy. You'll not only look tolerable but you'll smell like Louis XVI in his loo-deficient Versailles of yonderyear! Ho ho ho!

[Santa Claus]

Re: Santa's Gift Registry 2022. I SHALL DELIVER!!

He sure can't, but he could do something pretty close: just ask for a KJV Bible.

Ho? Don't you have the Internet? Or the Library? What's the use of a paper copy, especially as your lot should not even make notes on the pages as it would be wrong to add anything to this KayJayVee thingy, or your Jesus will give you plagues (verily, he does give some thingies but I wouldn't call them nice but naughty and where's the plastic component I'm only asking)? But, in my mature age, I am digressing. Denny-lad! I have chosen for your benefit something light and rousing to read at your level (it's reading level 2, isn't it?). Ho doe roe go show grow yo Mo no h**o as you say!