[Back against wall]

Re: Hi again, gang. It is my birthday. Ask me anything.

Why don't you turn the other cheek?

You're still here aren't you?

-------------------------------

Hi Jesus, hope you're well and not to over stressed.
God Bless. < - See what I did there? (Hahaha Jesus you made me such a kidder)

Talk tonight.
Love you.
Brother BAW

[Basilissa]

Re: Hi again, gang. It is my birthday. Ask me anything.

Dear god I have long list 4 Jew to read?

Sweetie, answers to all of your silly questions are in the Holy Bible!

1. Why didn't u stop 9/11

Because He wanted it to happen:

Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the Lord hath not done it?

2. Why did u make all these people and then have them go to other faiths

Because He didn't want the Hell that He made to remain empty, duh!

Ezekiel 20:25-26
25 Wherefore I gave them also statutes that were not good, and judgments whereby they should not live;
26 And I polluted them in their own gifts, in that they caused to pass through the fire all that openeth the womb, that I might make them desolate, to the end that they might know that I am the Lord.

3. Why do u suck As a god, u have no superpowers

Of course He does! He knows everything and He made everything, what else do you need?

4. Why did u make satan

As a playmate. Their favorite play is betting on peoples lives:

Job 1:6-12
6 Now there was a day when the sons of God came to present themselves before the Lord, and Satan came also among them.
7 And the Lord said unto Satan, Whence comest thou? Then Satan answered the Lord, and said, From going to and fro in the earth, and from walking up and down in it.
8 And the Lord said unto Satan, Hast thou considered my servant Job, that there is none like him in the earth, a perfect and an upright man, one that feareth God, and escheweth evil?
9 Then Satan answered the Lord, and said, Doth Job fear God for nought?
10 Hast not thou made an hedge about him, and about his house, and about all that he hath on every side? thou hast blessed the work of his hands, and his substance is increased in the land.
11 But put forth thine hand now, and touch all that he hath, and he will curse thee to thy face.
12 And the Lord said unto Satan, Behold, all that he hath is in thy power; only upon himself put not forth thine hand. So Satan went forth from the presence of the Lord.

5. Why don't we all just get born in heaven

Because God wants all of us to suffer and most of us to go to Hell.

John 3:18 He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.

6. Why can't I eat a poppyseed bagel and not fail a drug test

Because it has poppy seed in it, sweetie.

7. Why did I create ***idiotic vocabulary removed by moderator***

Whatever it is, you're going to Hell for it, dear.

8. Why is this list so long

Probably because you're dumb, dear.

Psalm 14:1 The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God. They are corrupt, they have done abominable works, there is none that doeth good.

9. Why didn't u kill the atheists before they are born

Why bother? They'll spend the eternity in Hell anyway.

10. Why don't u ever ***more idiocy removed*** visits anyone

Huh?

11. Why can't u gimme money

Because you're a lazy unsaved trash, sweetie:

Proverbs 10:4 He becometh poor that dealeth with a slack hand: but the hand of the diligent maketh rich.

12. Why does the church abuse it's power

And how is it doing it, exactly?

I hope that was helpful, sweetheart.

[Aron the poof]

Re: Hi again, gang. It is my birthday. Ask me anything.

Why don't you turn the other cheek?

[BobFaget]

Re: Hi again, gang. It is my birthday. Ask me anything.

Dear god I have long list 4 Jew to read?

1. Why didn't u stop 9/11
2. Why did u make all these people and then have them go to other faiths

3. Why do u suck As a god, u have no superpowers

4. Why did u make satan

5. Why don't we all just get born in heaven

6. Why can't I eat a poppyseed bagel and not fail a drug test

7. Why did I create ***idiotic vocabulary removed by moderator***

8. Why is this list so long

9. Why didn't u kill the atheists before they are born

10. Why don't u ever ***more idiocy removed*** visits anyone

11. Why can't u gimme money

12. Why does the church abuse it's power

[Jesus]

Re: Hi again, gang. It is my birthday. Ask me anything.

Wait... you remember your own birth? Yeah, that's pretty usual (?)

Of course I do. Who do you think you are talking to here?

1.- Why women are portrayed like objects in the Bible? After all, Eve was just one women, I don't think all the gender must pay for one single person mistake

Of course they all have to pay. We are punishing everyone for all eternity for what Adam and Eve did. Not just women, but they have it a little worse since they are the ones who sinned originally whilst having no knowledge of right and wrong.

2.- Why beatings and spankings are, according to the bible, the best way to educate a child? I think parents can solve problems with words, not violence

You think do you?

3.- Why Christians must hate their own parents, brothers and sisters? I don't think God should divide their children if they already love him

You don't have to hate your parents. You should honor your parents, unless they get in the way of following me. In that case, you should ditch them quickly.

4.- Is USA racism truly supported by the bible? Because for what I can see here, the country is very mean with mexicans, canadians, japanese, chinese and another people from another lands and languages

Of course not. Racism is wrong. You shouldn't be mean to the lesser races. Except the blacks. They are being punished for what their ancestor did thousands of years ago.

5.- Why God murder the people he created by himself? God is supposed to know everything about everybody, he should know when he creates somebody who's gonna be evil in the future

Free will.

6.- Why you think only homosexual people has AIDS? Straight people can have it too, besides, is not a dicease you can catch like a cold or somethings like that, you must have sexual contact with a sick person or any kind of another contact to get the dicease too

Butt sex caused AIDS. Your own nasty sinful habits.

[Jesus]

Re: Hi again, gang. It is my birthday. Ask me anything.

What was the deal with YOU & satan & that schmuck Job??

My father/I wanted to test Job. You may think it was a crappy thing to do, but who are you to talk back to the omniscient creator of the universe?

I totally knew he would fail.

[Mark L. Snyde, PhD]

Re: Hi again, gang. It is my birthday. Ask me anything.

My invisible angels pull things to the ground. I think that's the way we set it up.

Thank you for your answer, my Lord!

I figured it was something simple and reasonable like this, rather than some demonic elementary messenger graviton invented to deny Your glory!

[Jesus]

Re: Hi again, gang. It is my birthday. Ask me anything.

Just to have it confirmed once and for all: what is your views on homosexuality?

I think my buddy Paul wrote that down for me. You know he hated my followers before I came to him in a vision and turned him around in his thinking.

Too bad Dawkins won't admit that I have done the same with him.

[Jesus]

Re: Hi again, gang. It is my birthday. Ask me anything.

Did You get everything You wanted?

Of course I did. I am omnipotent. I am really enjoying this square circle I created.

[Jesus]

Re: Hi again, gang. It is my birthday. Ask me anything.

Dear Jesus, My Magnificent Manly Messiah,

How does gravity work?

My invisible angels pull things to the ground. I think that's the way we set it up.

[MangyReader]

Re: Hi again, gang. It is my birthday. Ask me anything.

I will never forget that day 2013 years ago when I was born from a virgin.

Wait... you remember your own birth? Yeah, that's pretty usual (?)


Anyway, I think I have a few questions for you, take your time, don't worry...


1.- Why women are portrayed like objects in the Bible? After all, Eve was just one women, I don't think all the gender must pay for one single person mistake


2.- Why beatings and spankings are, according to the bible, the best way to educate a child? I think parents can solve problems with words, not violence


3.- Why Christians must hate their own parents, brothers and sisters? I don't think God should divide their children if they already love him


4.- Is USA racism truly supported by the bible? Because for what I can see here, the country is very mean with mexicans, canadians, japanese, chinese and another people from another lands and languages


5.- Why God murder the people he created by himself? God is supposed to know everything about everybody, he should know when he creates somebody who's gonna be evil in the future


6.- Why you think only homosexual people has AIDS? Straight people can have it too, besides, is not a dicease you can catch like a cold or somethings like that, you must have sexual contact with a sick person or any kind of another contact to get the dicease too


Those are my doubts, I hope you can help me....

[arthur frayn]

Re: Hi again, gang. It is my birthday. Ask me anything.

What was the deal with YOU & satan & that schmuck Job??

[Bjorn Jensen]

Re: Hi again, gang. It is my birthday. Ask me anything.

Just to have it confirmed once and for all: what is your views on homosexuality?

[worthlessdavid]

Re: Hi again, gang. It is my birthday. Ask me anything.

Yes, of course.



Because of your sins. Your masturbation makes me sick.



Because thou hast seen me, thou hast believed: blessed are they that have not seen, and yet have believed.

You are truly blessed.

Well then for your birthday I will stop sinning (you might have to help me with that one)

You seem to know that I already believed. (hopefully if you are god you can at least be glad I was being cautious, because God is a jealous God)

[Mrs. Paddy McIrish]

Re: Hi again, gang. It is my birthday. Ask me anything.

Yes, no or wait; is my answer. Maybe you should pray harder and I'll think more about it.

Your whim is my command, O Mighty One. I will wear my knees out for You, hungrily waiting to receive Your Spirit as well as Your answer to my prayers.

P.S. I hope You had the most Blessed of Birthdays! Did You get everything You wanted?